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johmo

Muslim/non-muslim I Can't Decide.

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I was muslim by birth. (i know every one is born muslim i mean i was brought up in a very muslim family)

 

At a very young age 14 i noticed i was attracted to my own sex. I was quite religious up until a year ago.

 

I was very confused why i felt like this. It is a sin and against my religion. So i just pushed it aside.

 

I have an arranged marriage organised and i decided that i would like to to a undergraduates course at uni.

 

Whilst here my faith has dwindled.

 

I have difficulty accepting religion but i am still afraid of death and the 'punishments' perscribed by Islam.

 

So basically i feel it is a farse and beleive in it at the same time.

 

This isnt good for my mental health. :sl:

 

I have lived a very Islamic life, no girlfriends nothing of that sort i used to read the quran and read salah (prayer) all the time but i've sort of given up.

 

I can not cope with the tiredness if i wake up in the morning for fajr to start with...

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Asaalamu alaikum brother-

 

Allah (swt) has given you a great challenge. Your situation is difficult, but I believe that if you personally truly want to believe, you can overcome your problems, and the reward will be great for you. Try not to stress out, however. Pray whenever you can, and be firm in asking Allah (swt) to guide you back to him. Just remember that for every step you take towards Him, He takes ten towards you.

 

I wish you all the best.

 

Ma'salamah.

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Assalamu alaikum, This topic is being moved to the counselling Section, because it is more suitable there.

 

Assalamu alaikum.

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I think what has been the biggest problem for me is the fact that i am attracted to the same sex.

 

From a very young age too, even when i was very religious observing prayer and reading the quran along with supplications.

 

It's unimaginably difficult having an attraction to something that is such a big sin.

 

I'm not even sure if i'm condemned because of it already.

 

OR why god would 'inflinct' me with it. If he even exists.

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Salam,

Sometimes, people may dis-regard some thought about attraction to the own sex so much, that they still think about in the back of their minds, and the idea grows from something minor, to something complety different to the original.

The fact that there are handsome muslim men mashAllah for exmaple, is not wrong. Its just complimenting somebody, people do notice when somebody looks good.

But when it comes to being homosexual, thats diiferent. Say, if you thought about marrying a boy, even though you were OBV disgusted about the thought, and then u thought...well, thinking about it, i wouldnt mind being married to another male after is is just WRONG man, then 100% turn away from that thought,

but for now i hope its just at the level of noticing another male looks good, well, there isnt a problem in that and correct me if im wrong, but i dont think there is anything wrong with saying that a guy look good...but to keep thinking about one Bro's looks ent good for ya mind man!

Anywayz, hoped i helped, and with the lack of faith, just look how messy the situations are with the Kafiruun, and their families, and compare it to the GOOD Muslim families, then you will see the difference, and what outcomes these rules have for us.

Btw-what i do with Fajr is that i pray it Kazaa (just the farz when i get time after sunrise) as my school times make it difficult for me to fit it in the day, so don't commit Shirk so easily, or anything like that, and be focused and opened minded, but keep the Sahadah in mind, so that you do not ponder on Allah's existence, for Shaytaan can intercept these fragile thought so easily and destory your way of thinking all together.

Hope i helped Bro, Salam.

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The Islamic family isnt anything good either.

 

One Islamic family i know is always on the verge f divorce, agrguing all the time the kids are ill mannared no matter HOW much the father trys.

 

MY own father beat my mum and went off with soemone eles, where did my mum deserve this?

 

She reads all the salah/prayer, she reads quran for atleast an hour in the morning usually BEFORE fajr and then some during the day and afternoon.

 

She is the most religious person i know and look at her life. Her daughter (my sis) is married and has problems and she blames my mum because it was an arranged marriage, (to a cousin).

 

Which is exactly the same line i'm going down, arrange marriage to a cousin.

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Assalamu alaykum

 

How are you sure that every thing other than arrange marriage will work smoothly. There are equal number of instants where the marriage has broken. I know many families where the boy and girl went against the wishes of their parents and the boys killed the girls and vanished. And I also know families where the girl is flirting with other boys in presence of her husband. This is happening with love marriages. So the way You view, the decision you make. My suggestion is that. If u don't have any physical deformative and if u are healthy do not hesitate to get married soon. Don't ever disclose (till death occurs) about your present conditions to your would be wife.

 

Every thing will be ok. Give some sadqa (charity) to poor. Try to sit in sermons that will nourish your heart ( not in front of TV or net, it should be a gathering)

Edited by ahamed_sharif

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The Islamic family isnt anything good either.

 

One Islamic family i know is always on the verge f divorce, agrguing all the time the kids are ill mannared no matter HOW much the father trys.

 

MY own father beat my mum and went off with soemone eles, where did my mum deserve this?

 

She reads all the salah/prayer, she reads quran for atleast an hour in the morning usually BEFORE fajr and then some during the day and afternoon.

 

She is the most religious person i know and look at her life. Her daughter (my sis) is married and has problems and she blames my mum because it was an arranged marriage, (to a cousin).

 

Which is exactly the same line i'm going down, arrange marriage to a cousin.

 

Sorry to hear Bro...but that isnt very Islamic if u ask me, i mean GD Muslim families, not just people hu say they are muslims, and then do disgraceful things, especialy abusive husbands.

Trust me, i've got to knbow quite a variety of people, and there are two kinds of Muslims....muslims that are only 'muslim' because they say "ima a muslim" but dont practice the religion at all, OR true Muslim Bro's and Sister's out there who actauly are peaceful, and generous.

I dunno about you, but i've seen the beauty of Islam if u ask me, maybe you've just been around the wrong kind of "muslims" . I hope u meet some more gd Muslims inshAllah, as so to help u realise how amazing Muslims are.

Salam Bro, tc.

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Hello, I see the predicament you are in and just wanted to say this, I can't remember where i read it but anyway its said that Allah(SWT) will test those whom he loves most. Now you say that you used to be a very good muslim up until a year ago so the reason that you are attracted to the opposite sex may be teat of your faith from Allah(SWT).

I hope that if you come to see that most of your doubts about Islam are maybe tests of your faith then you can inshallah try to overcome them.

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Thanks all, i'm starting to understand a bit more.

 

It just bothers me that i might be ruining my afterlife by being a crap muslim or if religion doesnt exist i've wasted my one life not doing the material things that would make me happy/ish.

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brother....

the kufaaar do bad stuff like homosexuel and things.. ect..

its bad an its a sin.

we muslims are clean.

the shay6aan *(devil) want us to think ( dirty ) theyr whatsoever

in many cases it make u think negative , and stuff come upto ur head ect...

i believe those images and stuff comes from tv and much more... like the outside

i just spit 3 times on my left and say ( a3otho ballahe min al shay6an al rajeem ) , once i finish saying this , first thing comes up in my mind is how life is , how im here , ect.. the things that make you closer to Allah and understanding existence.

 

the shay6an will only promise you "" " " " " " " ""

i believe theyr is much definisions inthe quran of what it means...

but 1 thing that is precise is, that if you do wrong u hurt urself in other way

if a man does the sin ,he will have negative thing to himself and hes journey of religion . when indicating of rules of religion it will clash , it clashes .

example

if some1 eat pig he will be dirty , because of thedirty germs in him.

if some1 is homo he will also be dirty

they all intercept towards the muslims religiose factors.

we are taught well , but from how well they teach us we have a new diffrent story like a virus and the cure is locked inside the head .. much more paying attention to the virus to the new thing more then itself.

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salmau alekum brother

 

 

Im happy that you are fighting shaitan , dont worry you are doing right, just read more about Islam and understand it deeper.thats whay u need

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Assalamualikum

 

brother, dont worry and dont give up :sl: .....If Allah loves some one he tests them........so Allah surely loves you and you have to be stong....dont worry just keep praying and dont give up.....Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear

 

so bro dont give up....you say how bad your mums life is ...but look she is still religious and prays...Allah will give her a trillion times more than this world.....inshAllah her reward would be so tremendous......this life is a test and you're lucky Allah is testing you. That means he loves you ...but bro please dont give up....i will make duaa for you..inshAllah and please stay strong....and soon this will pass and you will live a happy life inshAllah..so just keep asking Allah and just dont give up...i know its very hard but bro YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS INSHALLAH. As i have said Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear

 

take care bro and Allah is the ALL-POWERFUL

Edited by SJ54

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