Jump to content
Islamic Forum
Sign in to follow this  
Um-`Eesaa

Forgive And Forget?

Recommended Posts

:sl:

 

What are your views on Forgiving and Forgetting? I hear this saying a lot, but is it actually practical? Forgiving, yes, i can do that, but forgetting? What if i forget all that happened, but the person does the same thing again, or someone else does?

 

There is a hadeeth of Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 154:

 

Narrated Abu Huraira:

 

The Prophet said, "A believer is not stung twice (by something) out of one and the same hole."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds

:sl:

 

forgiving is a difficult thing to do but the reward for forgiveness is HUGE. i heard in the khuttbah, that a servant of Allah will be shown a magnificent Paradise, and he will think it is for a great Prophet, or for a great Friend of Allah, or for a self-less Martyr. but Allah will tell tha man that he can pay the price for this Paradise if he forgives his brother. and the man will forgive and he will enter that wonderful Paradise along with his brother.

 

you don't necessarily have to forget but you can always forgive :j:

 

:sl: and peace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam,

 

I think sometimes it's impossible to truly forgive, but by trying to and acting as if one had, that's where the merit is. Because forgiveness is so hard, it's the striving that is as meritous as actually managing to do it. I'm always amazed to hear of the mothers whose sons have been murdered (for example) bu still say to the killers 'I forgive you'. I wish I knew I would be able to do the same and I feel ashamed that I probably couldn't.

 

I think it's also a much bigger thing to be able to offer forgiveness unilaterally (without the guilty person requesting it) than be able to forgive a person who asks for it. Don't get me wrong, both can be astoundingly difficult but to be the one who takes the first step IMHO must be harder.

 

Good topic.

 

Peace and Love,

 

DARLA

 

(who is, unfortunately and shamefully, a particularly vindictive person when angry)

 

Peace and Love,

 

DARLA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have in a way forgiven someone for brutally killing someone very close to me. When i say forgiven i mean that im not going to get him back for what he done, one of the reasons was that i thought that if i take mercy on him maybe Allah will take mercy on me also i've seen over the years his lifes been heading downhill and now the guy has gangreen so i think that Allah has done his job there. However if i met him in again i dont know how i'd react...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam,

 

I guess that would be a reason why 'judgement day' religions, like Islam and Christianity, may find it easier to forgive. We know that the bad person will have to account for himself and by being restrained we, hopefully, gain merit. An atheist doesn't have that hope in satisfaction.

 

Peace and Love,

 

DARLA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalamu Alaikum, your right Darla, something worth pondering.

 

As for me, I forgive very easily, and at the instant someone does something to me, I tell it to them on the face, " you know what you did and said hurt me very much, but I forgive you for Allah", but if someone says something about my children or Hubby or anyone I care about, then, my mean streak comes out, I still tell them off in a nice way, give them a little lecture, and then tell them I forgive them. My children call it The Wrath of Amma.

 

Forget if someone did anything bad to me or my children or anyone I love, No way, I cannot forget, and I am careful with those people. FORGIVING IS THE SENSIBLE THING TO DO, FORGETTING IS BECOMING VULNERABLE (in other words Stupidity).

 

Nice topic Beti. Peace to all. umAhmad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam,

 

Agree with difference between forgiving and forgetting analysis. If someone says 'sorry' I will try and forgive. My problem is I tend not to trust them again for that issue (ie: I don't forget) and so my behaviour changes towards them. I wonder whether that can still be classed as forgiveness. Forgiveness is so often defined as 'wiping the slate clean' which implies a measure of forgetting, also.

 

I also find it easier to forgive on my own behalf than someone elses. I guess 'the wrath of Amma' lives in all of us :sl:

 

Peace and Love,

 

DARLA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nice topic Beti. Peace to all. umAhmad.

 

:j:

 

:no: Mommy :sl: the topic was made because of u.

 

:sl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

 

It depends what the person did to me in the first place. If it isn't so bad, yet still hurtful at the same time, I am the kind of person who finds it quite humbling to offer forgiveness. When one gets in the habit of seeking out ones own faults and begging their Creator for His forgiveness it becomes easier to try and embody that attribute to some extent.

 

In addition, I find that trying to forget about the bad act committed against me helps to make my forgiveness more sincere. After all we are all guilty of making mistakes in our lives and I would hate to think that someone I cared about would harbour ill memories of things I had said/done to them in the past, that I have sincerely sought pardon for.

 

If it is something more serious, I still err on the side of forgiveness, for the sake of attaining the Mercy of Allah. I would concede that in these instances forgetting simply doesn't come that easily, although I do find it is still possible, especially when time passes by and one has experienced other tribulations that have a knack of putting everything back into perspective.

 

Alhamdulillah I have never had to experience something truly terrible, so I don't think my forgiveness has had to stretch very far. For example, I'm in utter awe of the Amish community for the way they handled themselves after the brutal murder of their innocent daughters. Forgiveness on that level is truly inspiring.

 

Nice topic :sl:

Edited by emel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

true " Forgive and Forget"

 

Inspiring recent true story read here

 

 

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_archive.gulfnews(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/articles/07/03/03/10108349.html"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_archive.gulfnews(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/articles/07/03/03/10108349.html[/url]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:D

 

I would very warm heartly forgive in any situation. :sl:

 

Ok,I know in the extreme conditions thats hard BUT my hearts always open to forgiveness,subhanallah. :j:

 

If we don't forgive someone then what if Allah doesn't forgive us.Think about it?

 

Weeell as for forgeting,hmm,erm,lol.

 

Again depends on the situation,in the extreme conditions I think the situation would play on my mind,but inshallah I wouldn't let it get to me.

And do my best to act as if nothing happened. :D

 

I'd inshallah try and emulate what our Prophet would do. :D

 

My children call it The Wrath of Amma.

 

Aww.:sl:

 

May Allah accept your Duas aunty.Ameen.

 

 

:no:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

 

We should follow the example of prophet Muhammad (saw).

 

He forgave those people who done things to him which were unimaginable.

Edited by fisabilillah ö�í ÓÈíá Çááøå

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

 

Indeed. ^

 

Forgiveness shows good character,I feel even in the toughest and hardest conditions one should forgive,cause what if Allah doesn't forgive us?

 

:j:

 

:sl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

this is a very difficult subject in my opinion, the heart is extreamly difficult to control and surly those who are in control of their heart are the strongest in faith as he/she will be able to stand firm in times of fitan iA. i do not know if i am able to forgive and forget it all depends on the issue. however below is some info that iA we should try and practice.

 

There are three sins, whoever dies free of these sins will be forgiven for anything else if Allah wills: associating anything with Allah; practicing magic or witchcraft; and bearing resentment towards his brother." (Reported by al-Bukhari in Adab al-Mufrad)

 

 

"…[those] who restrain anger and pardon [all] men – for Allah loves those who do good." (Qur’an, 3:134)

 

here is a wonderfull article on this topic (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetislaam(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/Article.aspx?id=502"]the muslim is tolerant and forgiving[/url]

 

brothers and sisters remmember Allah forgives us of the many many sins we do, iA we should try to pardon those whom have hurt us out of ignorance so that maybe Allah will have mercy with us.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sallam aleekom.

 

insaaaan is a human

again

 

this i got from a teacher.

insaaaaan the short is nsaaaaaaaan and which means nsyaaaaaaan

 

nsaaaan is forgot but nsyaaaaaaaaaan forgeting

 

a human will always forget , because of what we are .

 

we will forget things and some we wont . if you want to forget just leave the things that you want to forget in to a lower priority , means try not to think about it . maybe in 2 months or 8 months or 2 years it will be gone it will be like a blur :sl:

even the hardest stuff that you think is very cruel n bad that your afraid of it and want it out of ursystem , you still can forget . always make dua . and wakeup of what your thinking , .. feel real. always meet relatives and stuff make journies when nothing to do and you will be refreshed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:sl:

 

If i cannot forget, then i have not truly forgiven.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
true " Forgive and Forget"

 

Inspiring recent true story read here

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_archive.gulfnews(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/articles/07/03/03/10108349.html"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_archive.gulfnews(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/articles/07/03/03/10108349.html[/url]

 

Its very inspiring true story , i guess no-one read it till now :sl: :sl: i donno why

 

Click the link within quotes and read it bros and sis

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^

 

:D

 

:sl:

 

I just read that. :j:!

 

thats really touching...:sl:

 

:D for sharing

 

The prophet :D said, "Allah has divided mercy into 100 parts, and He retained with Him 99 parts, and sent down to earth 1 part. Through this one part creatures deal with one another with compassion, so much so that an animal lifts its hoof over its young lest it should hurt it." (Al-Bukhari)

 

:no: just with one part of mercy between us all, we're capable of that type of forgiveness. Imagine how forgiving Allah swt is!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:j:

 

Wow,subhanallah,:no: for sharing sis. :D

 

Allah is worthy of the highest praise. :sl:

 

:sl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
^^

 

:D

 

:j:

 

I just read that. :no:!

 

thats really touching...:sl:

 

:D for sharing

 

The prophet :D said, "Allah has divided mercy into 100 parts, and He retained with Him 99 parts, and sent down to earth 1 part. Through this one part creatures deal with one another with compassion, so much so that an animal lifts its hoof over its young lest it should hurt it." (Al-Bukhari)

 

:D just with one part of mercy between us all, we're capable of that type of forgiveness. Imagine how forgiving Allah swt is!

 

Really very touchy . It shows by Allah's grace how a man forgives killer of his own daughter

SubhaanAllah :)

 

JazaakAllah for the hadith may Allah keep us under His Mercy Ameen! :sl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×