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Cobra

Question about love

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Assalamualaykum sis

Well i did not do anything, just started praying, and everything started falling in place , automatically.

Now when I look back I feel happy that it happened, also I am reminded everytime I face a problem that Allah do not want to harm me, its just that I cant see what He can.

I guess the best place to find love is with Allah, and his prophet. And the best part is that When You go to Allah and express your Love , you dont have to fear rejection. Whatever you are, whatever you did in the past, nothing matters. He not only excepts your love but loves you back with an intensity that is beyond Human imagination.

The world might hate you for something wrong that you do, But Allah , never.

You will always find comfort and solace from Allah. When you are really low, feeling bad about life. Cry out in front of Allah, and you will feel Allah wrapping you with his arms, Hugging you. And thats a feeling that no worldly love can match

 

Regards

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:D

 

once again, thank you ever so much sister Sofiaa- i will pray for eternal happiness for you :D.

 

thank you brother hamid- your post made me teary, but at the same time gave me strength in believing that everything will be perfect, eventually, mashallah.. i wish you the best of happiness and may all your wishes come true- i am praying for you. even though your love is not muslim, that does not mean you will not meet her in janat- i know you will meet her and be with her in janat- otherwise, it wouldn't be total paradise.

 

theres a saying that goes "Great souls suffer in silence" - by Friedrich Schiller.. if i came up with that saying, i would add "...but those souls will be relieved greatly", or something along those lines :P.. i hate to say it, i never believed in destiny before, not sure i still do.. but, perhaps, we were meant to find Allah(swt) in this unfortunate and painful way, but Allah(swt) will turn our pain into infinitely more happiness, inshallah.

 

:P

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I have to say Cobra and hamid 2000, i was reading your posts and

all i could do was cry, i feel for you's bothers i swear i do because i know how it feels to want someone you love soo bad and not be able to have them because of either religious reasons or other reasons.

 

You see i was in a very similar situation however its

through the girls point of view this time!

 

I know it is haram for muslim girls to have boyfriends, but when you

fall in love you forget whats wrong and whats right, and the problem was i

honestly thought i would marry this guy and that he was a sunni muslim.

 

A year ago i fell inlove with a guy, for the first time. He told me he was a

muslim and so i assumed he was a Sunni. We never brought the topic up

as we both new what we were doing wasnt right. We fell deeply inlove

with one another to the point where we couldnt imagine life without each other.

 

However being brought up into a strict family my father (a loving but stricktly religious man) had no other choice but to get me ready for marriage as all fathers do with their daughters. All these men started to ask for my hand in marriage, and my father was getting worried as to why i kept rejecting them.

 

Anyway i told my "significant other" and he was worried. He said he couldnt do anything unless we ran away together, because his family wouldnt accept a sunni muslim. This is when i found out he wasnt a sunni, it crushed me to pieces as i knew my father would not accept him either. :D

 

I cried and cried, thats all i could do as i knew the man of my dreams would never really be my husband. He meant everything to me, he was all i ever dreamed for in a man. But i knew i could not hurt my father and run off with him. Then i thought about the children who's religion would they follow?? i'd have to convert and i honestly didnt want to, because his religious beliefes were not truly accepted by alot of people, even my own.

 

In the middle of all this heartache a very wealthy man came and asked for my hand in marriage. His family was very repected and my father couldnt see a reason as to why i would say no to him. I cried and cried, but i couldnt get myself to tell my father i was already in love.

 

I could tell my father had an idea as he would tell me over and over again "if you have somebody tell me, as long as he is a proper muslim

i wont say no".

(But in my heart i new my father would never accept that sort of a muslim)

So i stayed quiet and accepted the proposal of the wealthy man, who my father believed would look after me and would keep me happy. I honestly had no choice, id either run away> loose my family and Allah or give into my fathers wishes.

 

I broke the news to the man i loved, and all we could both do was cry and

just embrase hoping one day Allah (swt) will bring us back together.

we promised each other that we would never lose contact and that we would

always be apart of each others lives. (and this promise wasnt broken, however things are different now)

 

The love of my life moved to another state, and i dont blame him as i dont think he could take seeing me with another man.

 

It got to a point where i couldnt functin anymore. All i did was cry and punish myself for not having enough courage to tel my father.

 

I am now engaged to the man my father wanted and i have gotten to know him and accept him for who he is. He is a fine gentleman indeed and i understand why my father wanted me for him. However i still Love my first love very much, and miss him quite alot. Sometimes little things bring back memmories and i find myself crying and hoping to be with him again. Other times i call his mobile number just to hear his voice, and know that he is ok, then i hang up.

 

All i am hoping is that one day, maybe if not in this life but in the next, Allah (swt) will bring us back together, just like you cobra and Hamid!!! Because i dont think my life will ever be complete if i cant enjoy it with that man!!

 

I am trying very hard to turn all my pain into love for Allah (swt) and you guys have really inspired me thanks heaps.

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:D

 

sister princess, your post has also made me teary-eyed bncry.gif.. for you have made the ultimate sacrifice.. i can only begin to imagine the pain you and he are going through.. i don't think i'd be able to stand watching my love marry someone else, it would do much more than break my heart- it would do so much worse, i cannot even find words to describe how damaging it would be to me. i pray for you to be with who you truely want to be with in janat, and i pray for your eternal happiness. i really am more heartbroken to now hear that someone would be forced to make such a sacrfice bncry.gifbncry.gifbncry.gif..

 

:D

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Salam alakum

 

Cobra, i hope nobody in this world has to ever go through or

feel the way i felt.

Having to sacrafise your love for the sake of others isnt easy, and

i pray nobody goes through it.

 

There are days where i used to think, why is Allah (swt) making

me go through all this pain, what did i ever do to deserve this??? but then

i stop and say to myself Allah (swt) knows best, and that seems to stop

all my complaining.

 

Anyway Cobra, i hope you dont mind me asking

what it was that that made your love leave you?

If its personal then im sorry for asking, but if you dont mind then

i would lov to know!! you seem like such a great guy, i just cant imagine

why she would decide to leave u.

 

Take care

 

Princess.

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:D

 

Usually boys dont cry ... but i felt a slight tear coming out at this dude's post ... but aren't you over reacting bro ... its her life ... let her be ... plenty of fish in the sea ... it was Allah's wish ... so let it be ... meanwhile enjoy the limited time provided with your family ...

 

The replies that my brothers and sister s gave were satisfying enough ... so i dont think i should add any ... be strong ... be brave ... use the ULTIMATE weapon that a Muslim has ... and that is Faith ...!!! INshallah ... your love life will come to a happy end ... i shall pray for that bro ...

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assamalaikum sister,

 

                                i'm sorry my post made you sad, that was not my intent :D .. everyone says the same thing, and they say 'dont worry, you'll get over it and find someone else'- i know many in my situation have said it, but i mean it when i say i dont want to find someone else. i even made a decision that if it would not work out, i would perhaps not get married at all, but then hurting my parents would be the dilemma. thank you for your kind prayer, though :D.

 

No its OK...just from reading a short paragraph of yours it was evident you care about her dearly....i know its easy for us to give advice and say everything will be right....but the truth of the matter is time heals all wounds....and mashallah you have your deen and faith in Allah(swt) if it was not meant to be than you should accept that this is Allah(swt) wish... :P And this might sound a bit harsh bro, but dont be so selfish.....dont hurt your parents unintentionally...........Even if you dont marry her...you can still live a happy life with someone else..... :grin:

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:D

 

that was short and lovely freakie boy.

If I'm to add anything, I really get amazed and surprised at how solid sure people take Jannah for granted! Even Prophets were not that sure of themselves!!!

And specially when you're totally drowned in love relationship outside marriege, which is haram haram haram,...or else it may turn out that couples both end up in the wrong place, where the heat is much worse than the heat of lovers.. So before I ask if I'm to be in jannah with this girl or that beauty, I better work hard to secure my place there in the first place.

 

Also one little notice here: man, ...how cruel a lover can get. Imagine your future wife, the poor innocent creature, whom you made it upon yourself, even before you've met her, to deprive her of your heart and your love, and to deprive her of your noble presence, presumably, in jannah...just because at the time you'd rather have fun with your old love. How cuel, weird, and unjust. It shows how what you call love here can turn you into a heartless monster.

 

Here is another boring say (what else did you expect from an old man like me :D ):

love outside marriege is all about selfeshness. True love can be found ONLY inside marriage. It is the kind of love recommended by our Creator! Guys, dont you ever read your user's manuals?

 

It all proves that sister Noor:) was the crown of this topic, masha'Allah she's so very wise and knowledgeable. I admire your thoughts sister...and I invite you to give a hand in the 'councelling room' section. I think you can be a wonderful helper there too....

 

barak Allah feekum jamee'an

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AOA:

 

Princess, I am so sorry about what happened to you. I think when two people love one another, they should be with one another. But you did the right thing. You only have one father and he deserves more love and respect then any other man in your life! But it still isn't right. I always pray that Allah only bring the man I am supposed to marry in my life and no other.

 

I hope you don't mind me saying this but since you are engaged, your fiance deserves your love now. You don't want to hurt him and loose his trust since you will be his wife. So if you have made the sacrifice and chose him to be your husband then you should totally commit yourself to him and him only. I hope you don't mind me saying this but I wouldn't want to marry someone who was in love with another. You seem like a lovely person and it's unfortunate that this happened to you. A similar situation happend to my friend and she was devestated. But in her situation, he was the one who got married. Try to focus on your future and not your past. And of course ask Allah to give you streangth, courage and guidence.

 

I hope and pray the best for you. Take care.

Edited by Sofiaa

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:D

 

once again, thank you ever so much sister Sofiaa- i will pray for eternal happiness for you :D.

 

:P

 

So sweet! Thank you and I pray happiness and success for you always. Ameen. I hope if you two are meant to be togather, may Allah reunite you soon.

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Anyway Cobra, i hope you dont mind me asking

what it was that that made your love leave you?

If its personal then im sorry for asking, but if you dont mind then

i would lov to know!! you seem like such a great guy, i just cant imagine

why she would decide to leave u.

 

:D

 

it has to do with a mistake i made in the past with someone else, which i very much regret more than anything.. *she* feels she cannot look past it(the thought of me with someone else), and feels its better if we're just friends. she also said that if we're destined to be together, we will- which confuses me as well.. in any case, i just wish Allah(swt) would give me a 2nd chance and let me go back and change that event..

 

also, to those who are saying its wrong to deprive your husband[##][/##]wife of love since you love[##][/##]loved someone else- i ask you this; is it not wrong for this sister to be deprived of her true love? is it not wrong that she had to make such a sacrifice to make someone else happy, when its ultimately her life?

 

forgive me, but i stand by my belief- she and all others with broken hearts will be with who their heart truely desires in jannah(whether that be the spouse or not)- as for her husband now, he too will find who he truely desires. its paradise, everyone will be happy. once again sister princess, i pray for you and hope that you will find total serenity inshallah.

 

:D

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Thank you so much for your sweet words SOFIA, i appreciate all the advice you have given me.

 

I know one day i'll believe that i did the right thing, and not just agree to it.

 

My fiance is a sweet man, who knows nothing of my past. I actually feel sorry for him as i know he deserves better then me. He deserves a pure woman that has never been in love before, as i know my heart truly doesn belong to him. I know this sounds selfish, but its not in my control to change my feeling for someone.

 

Hopefully Allah (swt) will give me the strength to fully move on and focus on my future, by forgetting about my past. I would never ever cheat on my fiance, eventhough i know the temptation is there!

 

COBRA, i have to say you are one of the sweetest guys i have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I honestly believe that the girl of your dreams doesnt know what she is missing out on. Thank you for explaining your situation to me and i really do think you will be happy in life. If not with that same girl, you will meet another who will hopefully accept your past and give you the love you deserve!!!

 

What can i say LIFE ISNT FAIR, i was deprived of my love to please others but maybe one day Allah (swt) will make me happy again??? The only thing that honestly drives me crazy is imagining my Ex with anoyher woman, I wouldnt be able to handle it at all.

 

Anyway life goes on, and hopefully all our broken hearts will be mended.

 

Thanks again Sofia, i pray that only the right man comes asking for you!!!

 

And Cobra i pray that Allah gives you a second chance, if not with that

same girl then with another who you will love even more!!!!!!

 

Princess.

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Brother your post made me :D

May Allah(swt) give you the strength to move on and find someone who you will love and who will love you in return the same way............ameen..........

.......

 

i also will do duaa for you inshaallah and i hope your problem will be solved

 

ameen

 

waallykumusalam

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Salaam alaykum,

 

Cobra, i hope you're feeling a bit better already and Princess and Hamid, i'm sorry you experienced all that pain as well, but i think especially in Hamid's case because his relationship was a while ago it shows that when you make changes yourself this is when Allah helps you as well. Because Allah will not change the condition of people until they make changes themselves. People say all the time that life isn't fair but i honestly don't get that, just because we don't like what is happening to us doesnt mean it isnt fair... many times we only realise the good in a bad situation later on. "...it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." [2:216]

 

And the Prophet(saws) said: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occassion to feel delight, he thanks God, thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation and endures it patiently, there is a good for him in it." [Muslim]

 

And in Surah Al-Anbiya it says: "Man is created of haste. I will show you My Ayat(torments, proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). So ask Me not to hasten them."

 

If i look back on my own life and experiences i know that at the time of a painful event, the kind where you can't stop crying and the painful is physically noticable in your heart, i learn that i felt very helpless at the time and i became aware of what exactly my role in life is and that it's not about me but about submitting yourself, humbling yourself, knowing your place...paradise is so hard to reach! You have to be patient and once you get there you'll be free of all your worries, worries dont exist there! So should you reach Jannah, insha Allah, and be married to someone else you had in mind here on earth....believe me you'll be very pleased because in Jannah Allah will remove all those worries and certain desires that you have here, once you get there you'll be nothing but satisfied and your worries that you had here on earth will seem extremely petty to you. Try making Jannah your priority because it's already hard enough to reach, if you carry the thought of who it is you'll be married to in Jannah it's like carrying a huge suitcase constantly on your back whereever you go, any idea how exhausting that is?

 

I hope it's ok to post another article below on this subject, it has some practical tips on how to change your own situation, i wish someone had told me all of this while i was experiencing certain tests so thatswhy i feel i needed to say something, i know you dont like to hear it but i'm hoping some of it will stick in your mind so that when you have calmed down after a while you'll remember it, please take good care of yourself, you only get one life! There are no do-overs!

 

Brother Dot, jazak Allahu khayran for your kind words, i'll try my best to help when i can like you suggested.

 

wa Salaam.

 

Abandoning Disobedience

 

Amr Khaled

 

We all commit sins, but we have to start being more serious at minimizing them to the least. You are not asked to be perfect or sinless, but today we want to promise Allah and ourselves that we will never insist on a disobeying Him. Search within yourself for the sins you do and you know that they are wrong and be determined to stop them. It is understandable if you forget or get weak and do them again, but quickly repent and ask Allah for His forgiveness and renew the promise. We Must Not Insist On Disobeying Allah. Its a Divine Law "When people insist on disobedience, they are destroyed."

 

Imam Ali (rAa) said: "No calamity has descended except by disobedience, and no calamity is repelled except by repentance." The woman that was killed two days ago in Baghdad was because of the sins of her sister on the other side of the globe. The man that was killed yesterday in Jerusalem was a result of his Muslim brother's sin in the country next to his. The whole status of our Muslim Ummah is the result of accumulating sins for the past 100 years. It has to stop because if the disobedience goes on at this rate we will never rise up again. It’s a Divine Law and there is no way around it.

 

Look back in history. Why did Adam and Hawwa (Eve) leave Paradise? It was because of disobedience. Why was Shaytan (Satan) cursed and expelled from the mercy of Allah? It was because he insisted on a sin (arrogance). Look at the people of Lut, what happened to them? They were destroyed because of their sins. They refused to follow the guidance of Allah and insisted on committing their enormous sin (sodomy). Allah the Almighty says, "But the (mighty) Blast overtook them before morning, And We turned (the cities) upside down, and rained down on them brimstones hard as baked clay. Behold! in this are Signs for those who by tokens do understand" (15:73-75). Muslims!! Do you see the danger of insisting on disobeying Allah? Try your best not to commit sins, and if you do, quickly repent and be determined not to do it again.

 

Anas ibn Malik asked A'isha (rAa) the wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and the Mother of the Believers: "O Mother, when does the Earth shake and quake (zalzala)?" She replied, "O Son, its when drinking intoxicants spreads, as well as adultery and other forms of disobedience. Then Allah tells the Earth to shake and quake." So Anas asked, "Is it as a punishment?" She replied, "No! But it is mercy for them (so they may wake up)." Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "If disobedience spreads in my Ummah, Allah will overwhelm them with calamities."

 

Never think that tiny sins don't matter because they accumulate and cause grave consequences on the long run. Like a drop of water that might seem harmless, but when these drops of water get together, they make a flood that wipes out cities.

 

Let tonight be a night of sincere repentance. Ask Allah to forgive your sins and promise Him and promise yourself that you will resist committing sins with all the power you have. Ask Allah to make our Ummah rise with your repentance to Him, ask Him to make our brothers and sisters in Iraq and Palestine and all over the world victorious with this repentance that you have made. We need to change, because unless we change, Allah won't change our Ummah's condition.

 

How to hate disobedience:

 

Ibn Al-Qayim described the consequences of disobedience. Learning these consequences will help you resist committing sins in shaa Allah. Print them out and hang them in your room, next to your computer screen, and in any place you frequently disobey Allah.

 

The consequences of disobedience:

 

1- The prevention of Knowledge. Knowledge is a light, which Allah throws into the heart, and disobedience extinguishes this light. Imam Al-Shaafi'e said, "I complained to Wakee' about the weakness of my memory, so he ordered me to abandon disobedience. And informed me that the knowledge is light. And that the light of Allah is not given to the disobedient."

 

2- The prevention of Sustenance. Just as Taqwa brings about sustenance, the abandonment of Taqwa causes poverty. There is nothing that can bring about sustenance like the abandonment of disobedience.

 

3- The prevention of obedience (to Allah). If there were no other punishment for sins other than that it prevents one from obeying Allah then this would be sufficient.

 

4- Disobedience weakens the heart and the body. Disobedience does not stop weakening the heart until its life ceases completely, rendering the body dead.

 

5- Disobedience reduces the lifespan and destroys any blessings. Just as righteousness increases the lifespan, sinning reduces it.

 

6- Disobedience sows its own seeds and gives birth by itself until separating from it and coming out of it becomes difficult for the servant.

 

7- Sins weaken the heart’s will and resolve so that the desire for disobedience becomes strong and the desire to repent becomes weak bit by bit until the desire to repent is removed from the heart completely.

 

8- Every type of disobedience is a legacy of a nation from among the nations which Allah (swt) destroyed. Sodomy is a legacy of the People of Lut, taking more than one's due right and giving what is less is a legacy of the People of Shu'ayb, seeking greatness in the land and causing corruption is a legacy of the People of Pharaoh and pride/arrogance and tyranny is a legacy of the People of Hud. So the disobedient one is wearing the gown of some of these nations who were the enemies of Allah.

 

9- Disobedience is a cause of the servant being held in contempt by his Lord. Al-Hasan al-Basree said, “They became contemptible in (His sight) so they disobeyed Him. If they were honorable (in His sight) He would have protected them. Allah the Exalted said, "And whomsoever Allah lowers (humiliates) there is none to give honor." (22:18).�

 

10- The servant continues to commit sins until they become very easy for him and seem insignificant in his heart and this is a sign of destruction. Every time a sin becomes insignificant in the sight of the servant it becomes great in the sight of Allah. Ibn Mas'ood (rAa) said, "Indeed, the believer sees his sins as if he was standing at the foot of a mountain fearing that it will fall upon him and the sinner sees his sins like a fly which passes by his nose so he tries to remove it by waving his hand around."

 

11- Disobedience inherits humiliation and lowliness. Honor, all of it, lies in the obedience of Allah. Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak said, "I have seen sins kill the hearts. And humiliation is inherited by their continuity. The abandonment of sins gives life to the hearts. And the prevention of your soul is better for it."

 

12- Disobedience corrupts the intellect. The intellect has light and disobedience extinguishes this light. When the light of the intellect is extinguished it becomes weak and deficient.

 

13- When disobedience increases, the servant's heart becomes sealed so that he becomes of those who are heedless. The Exalted said, "But no! A stain has been left on their hearts on account of what they used to earn (i.e. their actions)." (83:14).

 

14- Sins cause the various types of corruption to occur in the land like corruption of the waters, the air, the plants, the fruits and the dwelling places. The Exalted said, "Mischief has appeared on the land and the sea on account of what the hands of men have earned; that He may give them a taste of some of (the actions) they have done, in order that they may return." (30:41).

 

15- The disappearance of modesty which is the essence of the life of the heart and is the basis of every good. Its disappearance is the disappearance of all that is good. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "Modesty is goodness, all of it." A Poet said, "And by Allah, there is no good in life or in the world when modesty goes."

 

16- Sins weaken and reduce the magnification of Allah, the Mighty, in the heart of the servant.

 

17- Sins are the cause of Allah forgetting His servant, abandoning him and leaving him to fend for himself with his soul and his Shaytan and in this is the destruction from which no deliverance can be hoped for.

 

18- Sins remove the servant from the realm of Ihsaan (doing good) and he is prevented from (obtaining) the reward of those who do good. When Ihsaan fills the heart it prevents it from disobedience.

 

19- Disobedience causes the favors (of Allah) to cease and make His revenge lawful. No blessing ceases to reach a servant except due to a sin and no retribution is made lawful upon him except due to a sin. Allah the Exalted said, "Whatever misfortune afflicts you then it is due to what your hands have earned and (yet) He pardons many." (42:30). And the Exalted also said, "That is because never will Allah change the favor He has bestowed on a people until they change what is with themselves." (8:53).

 

So we now realize the danger of disobeying Allah and insisting on it. Dear brothers and sisters, our Ummah needs every single one of you. We all have to participate in getting our Ummah up. We all need to change to the better, because Allah won't change our condition until we start changing ourselves.

 

Lets make a promise today that if there is any form of disobedience we're doing, we will do our very best to stop it. We won't insist on doing it any more. We can't afford accumulating all these sins because they're killing us.

 

Lets ask Allah to forgive us and help us obey Him. Lets do this for our own sake, and for our brothers and sisters that are being killed every day. Lets do this for our whole Ummah. Please.

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:P

 

:D sis Noor..... Mashallah.... very great advice :D

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:D

 

**kneels down ** .... mashallah sister noor ... you should write a book ... or start a cafe for the broken heart ... !!! ... where were you when i had to go to the same phase ... better late than never :D

 

Keep inspiring us with your words 4 ever ....

 

**stands up ** ...

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:D

 

thank you for the great advice sister noor. and thank you for the kind words and prayer sister princess and Nasir..

 

i still feel like its hard to breathe at times.. but i am also starting to believe Allah(swt) will make everything alright. i believe we were meant to be together, i promised Allah(swt) i would forever keep her happy and never disappoint her, and i still intend on keeping that promise- i know Allah(swt) wants me to, otherwise he would've taken her away from me completely(we're still friends), so i will pray and hope that he lets me keep my promise to him..

 

:D

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Bismillah,

 

sallam to all. I hope everything is doing well in their imaan and health.

 

Wow, i really missed out a lot on this topic. Suhannallah, what a strong believers we got here who fear Allah and came running to Allah for help! Where else is better than getting great advise from IF members! Mash'Allah...keep it up! Its a amazing why Allah(swt) put the stories of the past nation who were destroyed because of their sins and selfishness while Allah(swt) has promised them better in the hereafter. Their stories are nothing but great way to help us repent to Allah(swt) and always accept Qadar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

To all of you who suffered this much, may Allah make it easy and give you relief.

 

5. Verily, along with every hardship is relief,

6. Verily, along with every hardship is relief (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs) [surah 94. Ash-Sharh, 94:5-6]

 

The worst pain that i fear for my ummah and my soul is....if Qiyamah comes and Allah(swt) says," I do not remember you because you never remembered me in earth while yet i sent you a messenger (saw), sent you my speech (Quran) and left you with examples of a great Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him). I do not love you because you never loved me, nor care about me, nor accepted Qadar while i told you that nothing happens without my permission and for everything that happens there is a wisdom behind it. But you hold back your love for I created you and gave you love, taught you love, gave you a love in your mother's arms, gave you love through your own blood brothers and sistesr, gave you love through a ummah (nation) of believers....and yet...for all the love i have given you, you forget about me and gave all the space in your heart to a creature of mine...now tell me..why should i love you?"

 

Brothers and sisters, forget everything in life...and just fear that Allah never says the above words to you. Those words are mine and that is how i keep myself to remember Allah, love Allah and just please Allah, repent to Allah and do things for Allah's sake. Everything in this world if it be a girl/wife, kids, money, power etc, i can get over it and move on, but...HOW can a believer ever over come if Allah tells him/her in Qiyamah,"I dont remember you nor love you because in earth you remembered me not nor loved me. I am always just to my Slaves."

 

The following ayat makes me cry when i read it:

 

 

14. Then taste you (the torment of the FIre) because of your forgetting the Meeting of this Day of yours. Surely, We too will forget you,so taste you the abiding torment for what you used to do.

[surah 32. As-Sajdah, 32:14]

 

When you remember Allah, is indeed when the heart finds rest, peace and love.

When you love Allah, is indeed when you will be loved by Allah, His Angels, His Messengers, His slaves from heaven to earth..and then by all the people who are close to you. So remember brothers and sisters, true love comes from the TOP to the BOTTOM not the Opposite.

 

For those who suffered enough, please...please...though its very hard to let go...please start the love from the TOP(Allah) to the Bottom(dream man, dream girl..future wife...husban/wife etc). We all must learn lessons. How can someone who you love much love you back the same way...if the love of Allah has a little space in the heart? It does not make sense.

 

And for sister princess_05, please i beg you, remember Allah is the only one who can change hearts. But all Allah wants from us is...to try our best..best ability. Sister, though i am glad you keep ur feelings about the other man in your heart so that you dont hurt this righteous brother, its best to kill it before it kills you and this brother. The worst thing in life is, to hold in your heart something that is gone from you. You made a great choice sister and may Allah reward you, but this choice will mean nothing if you keep caling the other guy..just to hear his voice and hung up. Allah knows this and its not right. If you want Allah to help you, completely Obey Allah and your future husban. By Obeying your husban, indeed you are Obeying Allah.

 

dear sister, a man is a man but a righteous believer is not equal to one who is not righteous. Please, give your heart to this brother and erase your memories and dreams with the other man. You can't compare a righteous man to one who is not.

 

 

p.s forgive me if i have said anything to bring more pain to you all. May Allah bring us peace and love amiin.

 

 

wa.salam

Edited by guided_heart

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Make ups and break ups tend to make a person wise .... clearly you are over --- over ---0ver reacting .... for the Love of GOD ... you are a MAN ... be Strong .... Allah (s.w.t) always tests people and always give us chances to turn back to HIM ... whether during bad times or worst ... you say you never were that IslamIC and had to turn to your LORD at this crucial stage ... there lies the solution ... i went through the same phase ... plus the fact that you had planned a relationship outside marriage ... which is bound to fail .... MARRIage should be based on Innocent Love as stated by our Prophet (s.a.w.s)

 

Like i said ... we are Muslims ... Slaves of Allah ... the uncle of a friend of mine was a doctor .. and was a muslim .. but had no Faith in Allah ... since he was a doctor ... he always considered himself prasie worthy when ever he had a successfull operation ... when ever patients used to come to him ... instead of saying inshallah ... he used to say if i am able to i shall do ... if not ... i cannot help ... his trust and loyalty on GOD was not there at all ... till one day his wife contracted breast cancer ... unable to do anything ... he started crying ... feeling helpless and useless ... becoz he knew in his heart he could do nothing at all to save the love of his life ... the reason why his heart had been beating all this time ... for whom he would bring a piece of a moon or a star ... to see that million dollar worth smile of her s .... :D

 

Tiz on that day he realised the POWER OF Allah .... unfortunately his wife passed away ... but Alhamdulillah his Iman is as Strong as Ever .... thats the beauty of Islam ... no matter what you have done ... Allah the Most beneficant and MOST FORGIVING ... always gives us worthless ... non deserving humans a second chance (T_T) ....

 

It is Usually during bad times that you tend to remember your CREATOR ... so take is as a blessing .... Girls will come and go .. but Iman is SOmething like a glass ... once broken ... it takes a long time to amend ...

 

I too have been through the same phase ... firstly i realized what i did was absolutely wrong ... it was haraam ... second thing i did ... was LEFT ALL MY AFFAIRs to be SOlved by Allah (s.w.t) ... HE knows all ... He sees all ... If i am worthy i will get my girl back ... if it is true love ... i will get her ... and nothing on earth ... except Allah's will can stop us from going apart ...

you seem like a mature person ... but acting like a wussy really makes me angry ....

 

Bro Dot Stated a VERY IMPACTFULL point ... that is why i always refer to him as the WISEST in the IF community ... i know i behave like a moron ... but if it make you happy and display a smile ... i would be willling to pay a million dollars or even my life on the line to see it once again ....

Jannah is not to be taken for granted .... i am sure i wont deserve Jannah ... as Except for ALLAhs Rasools ... none of us ... not even the best of sahabiz are as Perfect in nature as our prophets were .... taking this matter lightly gives the rise to fantasy .... You do believe in Takdir ... maybe she was not meant to be with you ... maybe you will get her in the future and this phase was brought up by ALMIGHTY to make you realise of what He is capable of doing and that we are nothing but mere slaves to HIS eternal bounty and power ... Think like that bro ... life is not that cruel ... its the inhabitants that make their own living worse ... Desire .. temptation ... selfishness ...all are the fuels to HELL Fire .... Read about the Prohet on this Forum ... look at how he viewed every aspect of his life ... be it social his marriage life from an IslamIC point of view ...!!!

Sticking to the likes of one girl is totally childish ... had you been married to her ... things would have been different ...!!!

Girls are always of that nature .. they are hard to understand .. and no one can ever guess their emotional settings ... yea yea .. there are some ladies man .. but just to get them physically attracted .. wont go there ..!!!

 

So be Strong and HAVE FAITh ...

Its never too early ....

Its never too late....

Always refer things to ALMIghty .. for He is the GREAT !!!

 

 

Islam is the key to the lock of every gate ...

Dont make this incident make you life subject to hate ...

Be brave brother ... have a solid strong mental state ...

For Indeed the greatest gift from Allah to us is FAITH ...

 

PS : Come on bro ... i am really serious .. you are like a relfectiion of my life ... who plays an IMPORTANT role ... Allah's Love or the love of your significant other !!!!

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:P

 

 

:D Genetic freak and Guiden Heart, Mashallah very nice advice! hope some will reflect.. :D

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thank you for your input, brother guided_heart. i know and have said before that we will be relieved of our pain, after reading brother hamid's and sister princess' heart-breaking posts... however, i have never really asked Allah(swt) for anything this important, i would just like for his greatness to let me love only her and let me keep my promise to him. i will not give up until Allah(swt) has made it absolutely crystal clear that i cannot be with her in any way, shape or form. Allah(swt) has still given me hope and strength to not give up for a good reason- perhaps he is measuring and testing my love, and i will not let his greatness down, nor will i let my love go away in vain.

 

i am now more convinced then ever that i had i not turned to Allah(swt), i would have lost all hope and maybe have turned to shaytaan. bless Allah(swt) for his greatness and guiding me, and bless you all for guiding me with your words of wisdom. once again, i wish everyone the best of luck in everything in life, and i pray for eternal happiness for all.

 

:D

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Salaam alaykum,

 

 

Cobra, i know it's hard what you're going through but from your last post i can tell that you haven't understood the advice/information the people here have given you.

You write that you've never asked Allah for anything big before and you're asking Him to let you be with her so you can fulfill the promise you made to Him of keeping her happy.... as a Muslim the promise you should be fulfilling is to submit yourself to Allah, accept whatever it is that you will face in your life.

 

You want her really bad, that's so obvious from your posts and i don't think you're thinking clearly... i'm not saying these things to hurt you...i'm saying it in the hope that you'll think about it and to prevent you from more hurt. You write that you will not give up hope until Allah has made it crystal clear to you that there's no chance for the two of you to be together....but this is the case at the moment!

 

You have to live life moment by moment, life could be over for anyone at any point, you don't have the guarantee to make it to tomorrow, not even to the next 5 minutes....you could be torturing yourself for years like this...you say you're still friends with her but there's no such thing as having friends from the opposite sex in Islam...

 

You seem to think because she's still your friend that must mean that Allah is giving you hope for a future for the two of you together...it's like you're grasping at straws here...if everyone thought like that things would get real messed up...the way you're thinking now are the thoughts of someone who's really hurt and just wants badly to hear what will satisfy his desire... it's already been laid out crystal clear for you but you're not willing to see this because you're set on satisfying your desire...this is how it is at the moment...no one knows what the future will bring, it could very well be that she'll change her mind and will marry you...but at the moment this is not case and that hurts...ofcourse that hurts...this is life and everyone hurts at some point in their life, and a lot of people hurt everyday but that doesnt stop them from concentrating on the important things...

 

Keep your promise of submitting to the will of Allah, this is what will make you happy in the long run and should it be that you'll end up marrying her, than that's just a bonus! But please don't delude yourself with this friendship thing, it's not going to work.

 

Guided Heart wrote something important that you should think about:

"The worst pain that i fear for my ummah and my soul is....if Qiyamah comes and Allah(swt) says," I do not remember you because you never remembered me in earth while yet i sent you a messenger (saw), sent you my speech (Quran) and left you with examples of a great Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him). I do not love you because you never loved me, nor care about me, nor accepted Qadar while i told you that nothing happens without my permission and for everything that happens there is a wisdom behind it. But you hold back your love for I created you and gave you love, taught you love, gave you a love in your mother's arms, gave you love through your own blood brothers and sistesr, gave you love through a ummah (nation) of believers....and yet...for all the love i have given you, you forget about me and gave all the space in your heart to a creature of mine...now tell me..why should i love you?"

 

Brothers and sisters, forget everything in life...and just fear that Allah never says the above words to you. Those words are mine and that is how i keep myself to remember Allah, love Allah and just please Allah, repent to Allah and do things for Allah's sake. Everything in this world if it be a girl/wife, kids, money, power etc, i can get over it and move on, but...HOW can a believer ever over come if Allah tells him/her in Qiyamah,"I dont remember you nor love you because in earth you remembered me not nor loved me. I am always just to my Slaves."

 

and Genetic Freak(you cracked me up with some of your posts!) wrote:

"Sticking to the likes of one girl is totally childish ... had you been married to her ... things would have been different ...!!!"

 

He's right, how you prioritise this girl would be appropiate had you been married to her but you're not and i know all of this comes across harsh and in no way am i saying to give up hope, ofcourse you can hope for it to happen but don't let it cloud your mind anymore like it seems to be doing. Just never forget that whatever Allah gives you is just, you may not understand it but you just have to accept it.

 

You wrote that you think Allah is testing you to see how much exactly you love this girl, i think it's the otherway around though....don't you think He's testing you to see how much you love HIM?? By taking away someone you want to be with, if you submit in this and be humble and feel that if this is what Allah wants for you than that's fine with you because it is what HE wants. Life is not about what people want... it's about submitting yourself to Allah, accepting what He gives, no matter how hard or easy it comes to you... be patient...it's hard but the reward will be beyond what you ever dreamed of...

 

"No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees(Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz) before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah. In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice that wich has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters." [surah al-Hadid:22-23]

 

"Have you seen him who takes his own lust as his god? And Allah knowing him as such, left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allah? Will you not then remember?" [surah Al-Jathiyah:23)

Make sure this ayah doesnt apply to you!!

 

and remember:

 

"And We will certainly bestow, on those who patiently persevere, their reward according to the best of their actions." [surah An-Nahl:96]

 

Take good care of yourself!

 

wa Salaam.

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There we have it folks ... the New Talent in the Making ... Bravo.. ..Mashallah sister Noor ... my Sincere respects to your words and advices ... keep us inspiring with your heart warming and mind convincing words ....!!!!

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Sister noor the letter you posted was beautiful, i read everybit of it and i got alot out of it. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

 

GUIDED_HEART:

THANK YOU, I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED TO ME BECAUSE ITS VERY TRUE.

ALL THE FEELINGS I HAVE FOR MY EX, HAVE TO BE FORGOTTEN BEFORE THEY KILL ME.

I HAVE NOTICED DAY BY DAY THAT Allah (SWT) IS MAKING IT EASIER FOR ME. I HAVE FOCUSED ON PRAYING AND GIVING ALL MY LOVE TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND OFCOURCE TO Allah!!

 

I WONT LIE, I STILL HAVE MY DAYS WHERE I REGRET MY DECISION BUT THATS THE SHAYTAN PLAYING WITH MY MIND AND I KNOW IT.

 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I REALLY APRECIATE YOUR ADVICE.

 

I REALLY LOVE THIS FORUM, YOU ARE ALL GREAT HELP!!

 

COBRA, AHHHH I DONT EVEN KNOW IF THIS GIRL DESERVES YOU, YOUR

OBVIOUSLY HURTING SOOO MUCH AND I JUST CANT BELIEVE SHE CANT SEE THIS????

 

TAKE CARE ALL

 

THANKS AGAIN.

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