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Cobra

Question about love

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:D brother, its really sad that she is treating you this way......without giving you valid reasons.........from what i have read it seems that she is confused herself and is not aware what it is exactly she is aking of you and what she wants herself....brother if you dont mind me asking is she a practising muslimah?.....if so has she done salaat istikhara?......this might end her confusion and yours too....I will pray that it all works out for you............ :D

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Salaam alaykum,

 

I just wanted say again that there is no such thing as having friends from the opposite sex in Islam...it sounds to me like she's clearly trying to do the right thing and trying to move on but you're not letting her if you keep telling her you love her. If she really is confused about how she feels then you should definetely back off because if she becomes aware that she loves you after all, she'll come to that conclusion if you're not constantly contacting her.

Also, we dont know the girl's side of the story and we go on in lengths here as to what could be driving her to behave like that...i know i wouldn't like it if i was being "discussed" like that, so i'll leave it at this...i wish happiness for you both, wether or not it is with eachother, may Allah help you find happiness, ameen.

 

 

wa Salaam.

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:D

 

sister mind, thanks for your insight and reply, glad to have some more input from a sister :phone:. i agree it may be conflicting with her value, but more so, she said its the fact of me with someone else. and i agree, she is having mixed feelings now. another point i'd like to make is, if i give up, my love will have gone away in vain, and she will have been right- i didn't really love her(enough). this is why i can't give up, if she tells me to back off completely- so be it... in that case, shes the one who gave up, not me, and i won't have to regret not trying enough.

 

sister Haseena, she has not done salaat istikhara, and shes not practicing Islam nearly as much as me, and i'm just beginning to practice. by the way, sister, can you please tell me how to salaat istikhara if you know how? if you can, please refer to my other thread here; "you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_forums.gawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=4318"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_forums.gawaher(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/index.php?showtopic=4318[/url]

 

sister Noor, she is trying to move on, yes, but by trying to erase me from her life, which i cannot let happen. however, i do give her more than enough space, i think- i haven't called her at all in over 2 weeks. i just write poems on my computer and text message them to her cell phone, not even sure if she really reads them(she says she does). and i try to avoid using the word "love" as much as possible in the poems, and i have a secret way of saying "i love you" so that she won't know. what i say instead, right now, is "ilu"(i love u), heh.. if she catches on to that, i'll change it to an acronym in my language, so she'll never catch that, hah :grin:. and i know sister she wouldnt like being 'discussed' about like this probably, but the truth is i need help, and this is really the first time i'm asking for such help from anyone.

 

thank you for the kind thoughts and prayers sisters, i pray and wish that you never go through this kind of pain, and may you find happiness for eternity.

 

:D

Edited by Cobra

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:D

 

Now from this new piece of information you gave, it just seems that you're bent upon playing mind games :P

 

In that case, I don't think what any of us said would be of much help as you just don't want to 'lose' this game & thus give her a chance to say that u didn't love her enough!!

 

I gave my 'analysis' as I thought that you weren't really seeing things from her point of view, but now I feel that you're just hanging on to her in order to prove that you're right & she's wrong! Once again, I apologise if you feel I'm being judgemental but this is how it appears to me from whatever info you've presented!

 

Brother, what's wrong is wrong. I agree with sister Noor that there's no such thing as friendship between opposite sex. If you seek her as a spouse then let your elders discuss the matter with hers. Otherwise, 'back off', not because you love her any less, but for the sake of Allah - the greatest source of love!!

 

:D

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:D

 

Now from this new piece of information you gave, it just seems that you're bent upon playing mind games :D

 

In that case, I don't think what any of us said would be of much help as you just don't want to 'lose' this game & thus give her a chance to say that u didn't love her enough!!

 

I gave my 'analysis' as I thought that you weren't really seeing things from her point of view, but now I feel that you're just hanging on to her in order to prove that you're right & she's wrong! Once again, I apologise if you feel I'm being judgemental but this is how it appears to me from whatever info you've presented!

 

Brother, what's wrong is wrong. I agree with sister Noor that there's no such thing as friendship between opposite sex. If you seek her as a spouse then let your elders discuss the matter with hers. Otherwise, 'back off', not because you love her any less, but for the sake of Allah - the greatest source of love!!

 

:P

 

:P

 

no no sister, you have it wrong... i am pursuing her this much because i really do love her and want to marry her- but ultimately, it is up to her... i cannot give up, but if she does, then its out of my hand and theres not much more that i can do. and while i agree its wrong for friendship between the opposite sex, i still want to marry her, but we need to be acquainted somehow if we're going to talk and not be together anymore.. so i guess the best we can call it is 'friends', rather than "ex loves with a guy who isn't letting go" :grin:. i want the elders(our parents) to discuss it of course, but if she doesn't want this right now, i have to wait to try with the elders..

 

:D

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Wsalam brother,

You asked me about istikhara salaat here is an over view for you.... :D

 

 

Method of Istikhara: When making Istikhara begin with performing two Rakaats Nafl Salaat. Then with all sincerity recite the following Du'a......................

 

Allaahumma innee astakheeruka bi ilmika wa-astaqdiruka biqudratika wa-as'aluka min fadhlika al-adheem. Fa innaka taqdiru walaa aqdiru. Wa ta'lamu walaa a'alamu wa anta allaamul ghuyoob. Allaahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna haadhal-amr khayrun liy fiy deeniy wa-ma'aashiy wa-aaqibat amriy, fa'qdruhliy wa-yassirh liy thumma baarik liy feehi. Wa in-kunta ta'lamu anna haadhal amr sharrun liy fiy deeniy wa-ma'aashiy was-'aaqibat amriy. Fa asrifh annee wa-srif 'anhu. Wa aqdurh liyal khayr hayth kaana thumma a-rdhiniy bihee

 

Translation: O Allah!! Behold I ask You the good through Your Knowledge, and ability through Your Power, and beg (Your favour) out of Your infinite Bounty. For surely You have Power; I have none. You know all; I know not. You are the Great Knower of all things. O Allah! If in Your Knowledge this matter be good for my faith (Deen), for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then ordain it for me, and make it easy for me, and bless me therein. But if in Your Knowledge, this matter be bad for my faith (Deen) for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then turn it away from me, and turn me away therefrom, and ordain for me the good wherever it be, and cause me to be pleased therewith.

 

While reciting this Du'aa when one reaches HAADHAL AMR (THIS MATTER) at both places he should think of his problem. May Allah guide and assist us all.

 

hope this assist you brother.........

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:D

 

thank you so much for the help sister Haseena, however, i could not find the surahs for nafl salaat. sorry if i'm bothering, i just want to get this right. once again, thank you sister.

 

:D

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brother, the nafal is same as a 2 rakaat prayer......so the only difference is the end surah which i already gave you......... :D

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