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Married The Wrong Person

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asalamualaikum everyone,

i need sum serious advice.iv had my you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_nikah(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e done for two years now.2 years ago i went pakistan with dad on holiday with no intention of getting married however i got talked into getting you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_nikah(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e/partner.php?adbanner=32t6k0e done with a girl out of family who i had never met before.when i came back to england i realised i made a mistake however i rang her everyday to try get to know her but she never seemed interested,shes come over now its a month today since shes here.my parents want a big walima party thing to happen as well yet.but even tho shes here i dont have nothing for her at all.i dont see her as my wife and i cant even force myself to get to be with her.weneva i see her i regret and get angry that y did i marry her?i avoid going home till late.my parents say i have to accept it whether im happy or not.i dont wana spoil her life cos i am 100% sure i could never give her the way of life a wife deserves.shes pretty but i dont have no attraction for her at all.also iv noticed shes arrogant and doesnt like being told wat to do.she makes remarks to put me down calls me ugly and that im old cos iv got bit of white hair but im only 23!i just get angry wen i see her i find it hard to even live in the same house with her even tho my parents are there.no1 seems to uderstand my problem.how can i live with someone foreva who i can neva love and dont intend to love.i thought once shes here my feelings will change but i just cant stand the thought of being with her.iv even started smoking again.iv dun many bad things in past like drinking and im woried if i stress like this more i myt turn to them.i know she doesnt like me cos she even said shes in england for herself not me.she has neva once asked me how i feel or wot she thinks of me.were just two completely seperate individuals and if we stay together itl only cause us both stress foreva.i want to divorce but my parents are pressurising me that if i do theyl disown me for good.i cannot live like this please advice.

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PropellerAds

That is a bad situation you are in. I would suggest talking to a scholar or Iman about what can be done. However I believe if you read this quote

 

"And if you fear that the two (i.e husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from the marriage tie) "

(2 : 229). from

 

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetjamaat(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/Islam/divorce.html"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetjamaat(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/Islam/divorce.html[/url]

 

it might be able to solve some of your problems. I do hope you can solve this.

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brother i know how you feel but DO NOT do an honour killing, i know its tempting but brother it is wrong

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:sl:

 

Im sorry to hear this, brother.

 

Such trials all to serve as a cleansing of your sins ,for:

 

“Whatever befalls a Muslim of physical weakness or complaint or worry or distress or harm or even a thorn in his finger, is used by Allah to erase some of his sins.†(related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others)

 

Do not despair.This trial is here in order for you show patience and gain reward in the future and to purify you, thus making you stronger for whatever lies ahead.

 

I pray Allah swt places love and compassion between you. Ameen

 

Please do the following steps:

 

Perfom salaatul hajaah(the prayer of need) and askHim to place some barakah, love and compassion in your marriage.

 

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_qa.sunnipath(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1117&CATE=4"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_qa.sunnipath(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/issue_view.asp?HD=...1117&CATE=4[/url]

 

Recite some of these duas continously and sincerely :sl:

 

Oh Allah, bless our marriage and let it be a means for us to become closer to You in love and devotion. Let it be a source of untold blessings, happiness and joy.

 

Oh Allah, let our marriage be a way for us and our families to enter Jannah.

 

Ya Allah, protect our marriage from the whisperings of Shaytan. Give us the strength to live together in justice, equity, love and, mercy.

 

My Lord, let this marriage bring untold blessings to us individually, to our families, and our children Insha Allah.

 

My Creator, bless us with children who will be a source of great joy and happiness.

 

Oh Allah, give us the love which you had blessed Muhammad, Allah's Peace and blessings be upon him, and Khadija with, May Allah be pleased with her.

 

and read this(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_soundvision(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/info/Islam/marriage.tips.asp"]Tips for a better marital relationship[/url]

 

I'll keep you in my duas :j: and will be back with better advice :no:

 

Fee amanlilah

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I am no marriage counselor, but you should and must talk to your wife and ease her into the new environment. There could be many side reasons to her actions (that have nothing to do with you but are coming back to you because probably you are the only one around or she feels close enough to to lash out...as ironic as it may sound, but its true for many people I know). One thing with women is they dont say it up front, they want the husband to figure it out by the hints they give. So try learning from her hints atleast rather than giving up on the marriage. Send her unexpected flowers/gifts/cards that she receives when you are at work. Come home early instead of late. If you ignore her and try to stay away from her, that will give you less time to know her and more time to plot how to end this marriage. Keep in mind divorce in this day and age seems very common but it is one of the most disliked of allowed things. Keep also in mind that the man is given the right to divorce and the woman can only ask for it. Allah has His Wisdom for this, but to a human mind, a very logical explanation is because women are emotional and women think and say things emotionally. If a man stoops to that level and utters those words, the divorce becomes permanent and there is no going back. Thats why a man must think logically and make ways to make things work rather than end. Make efforts, sometimes it just takes time. If one day it doesnt work, try again in a few days.

 

If all fails just try to make things work for sake of Allah, and inshaAllah Allah will make things work. When a divorce takes place in a home, the Threshold of Allah shivers and Shaytan becomes happy. Just for this purpose try to avoid a divorce.

 

Also there are several ayahs that can be read over sweet food and given to the person to make them like you. (But here you might need to eat that as well since you too are running far from her.) This isnt 'black magic', its using the Word of Allah to make your marriage work. Black magic appeals to shaytan and jinns for support, not Allah. Just like the duas below, the last three ayahs of Surah Baqarah are also a dua for this and any purpose. Another ayah (96) is in Surah Maryam (19) - (19:96). There are a few more as well.

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