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Dealing With A Past Sin..

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I'm a young woman 19 years old. In college...anyway

About 2.5 years ago i had a relationship with a terrible man who truely was just looking to sleep with me but convinced me otherwise.

Unfortunately i was young, dumb and inexperienced and he eventually took my virginity

Shortly after he made a run for the hills and was nowhere to be found. Used and abused i was depressed for a while.

I never in my life had imagined that i would fall into such a miserable sin.

Ashamed of my sin i repented...and alhamdlelah i have never after that done such a terrible sin

day in - day out my mind is cluttered with worries about my future...

I wasn't promiscuous and it wasn't a long period of time or anything....just a really bad decsion i made with a sick hearted man

each day i remember what happened and feel extreme shame for my bad irresponsible actions

always thinking if only i had tried harder to avoid such a situation. So much regret. Too bad I can't change the past.

 

Anyways I hope to get married someday. I don't know who would marry me though. I don't know that any kind hearted faithful muslim man would accept a women who isn't a virgin even if she has repented. I just can't imagine how i would be able to tell a man whos interested in possibly marrying me that I'm not a virgin. I mean how do you tell somebody that and at what point do you tell them? Its deeply deeply humiliating. I'm afraid that eventually i will end up with a man whos been with many women because as for my status right now i don't really deserve any better seeing as i have made a horrible mistake...

 

I don't really know how it works out....as far as i know any man who hasn't done sucha sin deserves a women whos on his level. I try to hope that i can one day find a man who would accept me but is it fair to him?

 

I'm too confused. I'm trying harder now more than ever to be closer to god, pray all prayers, memorize quran, etc. I really want to better myself completely and be a wonderful bright knowlegable person. I love my religion and I love practicing it. I want to be the best person i can be and inshallah some day i will be...but that past always lingers in my mind.

 

It was some time ago...but i still cry about it quite often wondering how i let something so valuable be taken away from me. I wish i could just forget about it and move on but i know its going to haunt me when i want to get married. It just isn't one of those things i can push and hide away and hope that god forgave me for it..

 

anybody....any ideas?

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:sl:

 

Sorry to hear that sis.

 

May Allah give you a great future full of blessings and happiness,ameen.

 

You have to try and forget about that incident and move on.Please don't let it bother you.Avoid the whispers.

Keep trust in Allah and be patient.

 

I'm sure you'll marry a pious caring men.

 

A woman is married for 2 key things-level of faith and her character.

 

So don't worry,focus on your deen and other things will fall into place.

 

Worrying about the past is pointless and a waste of time,move on and smile. :D

 

Subhanallah you love Islam,keep strong and secure to it.And don't let your past haunt you.

 

You have repented so now keep full trust in Allah with your heart.Don't have any doubts in Allah's wisdom or ability.

 

Allah is Al-Able,Al-Knowing and Al-Hearing so make Duas to Him.

 

May Allah give you a pious caring husband,ameen.

 

A knowledgeable pious brother will not use your past against you.As marriage is about the present and things change from the past to the present.

 

You can do it sis,believe! :no:

 

This life is a test for the soul,jannah is surrounded with hardships,hell with desires so we have to remember Allah,turn to Allah and make Duas to Allah,always and everyday.

 

Be strong sis,and keep your heart free from any worry.

 

I know you can do this,you will and can. :D

 

Heres some words from the Quran to help you out aswell.

 

"Seek Allah's help with patient perseverance and prayer. It is indeed hard except for those who are humble." (2:45)

 

"Oh you who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer, for God is with those who patiently persevere." (2:153)

 

"Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives, and the fruits of your toil.

 

"But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, 'To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance." (2:155-157)

 

"Oh you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy. Vie in such perseverance, strengthen each other, and be pious, that you may prosper." (3:200)

 

"And be steadfast in patience, for verily Allah will not suffer the reward of the righteous to perish." (11:115)

 

"Be patient, for your patience is with the help of Allah." (16:127)

 

"Patiently, then, persevere - for the Promise of Allah is true, and ask forgiveness for your faults, and celebrate the praises of your Lord in the evening and in the morning." (40:55)

 

"No one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the greatest good fortune." (41:35)

 

"Verily man is in loss, except such as have faith, and do righteous deeds, and join together in the mutual enjoining of truth, and of patience and constancy." (103:2-3)

 

Through every difficulty there is relief. Verily, through every difficulty there is relief. Qur'an 94:5-6

 

 

:j: I've helped a bit,

 

Take Care

 

Your Brother-Aaqib

 

:sl:

Edited by Aaqib Ahmed

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:sl:

 

at one point you said you were 26 and didn't want to marry any one and now you are 19?

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:sl:

 

Brother its a different person,sisters can log in as female to hide their identity. :j:

 

:sl:

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It is a very great act of disobediance towards your creator Allah (swt) you have commited no doubt. Such acts deserve punishment in this life and the akhira. Let your past situation be an example to those who are in such situation at the moment.

However Allah does love those who repent. Repentance will bring you closer to Allah and can remove pride from your heart. Fearing Allah and Loving him too is what may lead a person in to jannah.

Do not worry about which man will marry etc, if you increase your love for Allah you will find that you rely more on Allah and place your trust in Allah.

Improve yourself and Allah may bless you with a good muslim brother or have you even realise that you may not live till another year or a month? do not let these thought cloud your mind.

enhance your Islamic knowladge by reading books that are authentic, find Islamic groups and circles to busy your self with. hope you understand what i have said. and your Lord is most merciful and oft forgiving.

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You should repent more and forget about it. After you've repented and you think Allah swt has forgiven you then it's wiped away forever! it is as if you never committed the sin. So go repent more until you never think about it/bring it up again.

 

About it being fair to a pious guy, inshallah its better than FAIR. if you've sincerely repented, Allah swt will love you more then before you commited the sin the first place. Why would a pious man not want someone who is loved by Allah swt?

 

I think Isa(pbuh) once said "Let those who have not committed a sin cast the first stone". THe point is, everyone sins, whether they are doing a major or minor sin, it doesn't matter. Allah swt loves those who repent. Allah swt forgives and wipes away ALL SINS except shirk. Islam is a struggle, the fact that you feel guilt and shame show you have Emaan and you are aware you've done something wrong. InshAllah you'll find a good pious brother in the future.

 

But I really suggest you repent and repent and not bring it up again, not even anonomously

Edited by isha

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Salaam.

 

39.53 - O my servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful.

_______________________________

Hadith

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: Allah the Almighty said:

 

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.

_______________________________

 

Allah forgives all sins, so don't fret. The mere fact that you worry is proof enough of your sincerity. Take care.

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:sl:

 

May Allah forgive you sister. May Allah forgive you. He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. May Allah forgive you. Aameen, aameen, thumma aameen.

 

Like the members of the forum said, keep repenting. Also, do good deeds. The Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, "Fear Allah wherever you are. Follow up a bad deed with a good deed and it will blot it out. And deal with people in a good manner."

 

So keep making good deeds as you are doing. And never stop repenting.

 

Allah is the Most Powerful, and the Most Merciful. Not only is He ABLE to forgive His servants, but He is willing to do so by His infinite Mercy. Alhamdulillah.

 

Don't let the past affect your future. Inshaa'Allah you will marry a wonderful, pious husband. Remember that repentance is very important in Islam, that Allah is MORE happy with the repenter than a man who was in a desert and lost all his belongings; food, water, and everything, and while sitting down waiting for his death, he falls asleep, only to wake up to find all his belongings there again! If there is true happiness, it is the happiness of this man. And Allah is more happy with the one who sincerely repents than this man is after finding his belongings and discovering he still has a good chance at life.

 

Alhamdulillah. Allahu Akbar.

 

And one last thing. This is very, very, very important dear sister. Remember that the worst death, is loss of hope.

 

:sl:

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alsalamu alaikom sister.

 

It is with the mercy of Allah that commiting major sins, can be reversed with sincere repentance. Infact it removes the sin from your heart like it was never there.

To incourage this cleansing process there is also Haj, which brings you back free of all sins, and you go back as you were born.

 

You should read about repentace, see if you feel and can apply onyour self what is written about it, and its conditions. If in your heart there is just a shadow of a question on the sincerity of the repentance then keep doing, praying to Allah that He will allow you sincere repentanct and accept it from you.

 

Subhan Allah, zina jas a different effect from what I have seen than anyother major sin, because it has a cultural implication. Your regrest over the sin has to put the agression on Allah's rights as the crime, and not the breaking of traditional expectations. So think why is it you feal regretgul? because by societal default you need be a virgin, or because Allah forbade us from zina?

 

It will also help to try to understand what weaknesses with in you encouraged such an act. Did you seek attention? companionship? just lust? identifying the sickness of heart that lead you to the act will give you more to repent from and deeper opportunity to heal.

 

As for getting a husband who is pious, well sister most sahaba were non-muslims, and we can agree that all married pious people. The committed were sins in their jahiliyya and in Islam Allah forgave all for them. Nevertheless, there is always the sorrow of 'i wish it never happened' because we can see the effect of sin. Sister at the time of commiting zina, you are not a mu'mina, it is in the hadith which i explain, the prophet salla ALlahu alaihi wa sallam explains that no believer comits zina while being a believer. this means that at the minute of sin, your faith had left you. So now you are back to Islam inshaa Allah, and Islam erases everything else before it.

 

As for sharing with your husband that you are not a virgin, we have asked about thin extensively for convert sisters and the like and we came to the following.

The prophet peace be upon him permited for us to use (ma'aareed) rather than lying. so to give an exaple: a man came to an imam running away from some people chacing him. The man asked the imam to hide him. Once the man found a good hiding place in the imam's house, the people chacing him came knocking on the door, they asked the imam if he say the man. The imam pointed with his index finger in to the midle of his palm while saying; the man in not here. with this it was understood that the man is not in the house, whilethe imam meant: the man is not in my palm.

Ofcourse this is to be used when you are faced with urgency to use this tool or lie, and rather than lie it is better to elude.

 

Similarly, our sisters with such issues have recieved such advise from the scholars. ellude away from the truth so long as you could. so if asked the question directly: are you a virgin, then you can say Yes meaning when you were say 17. or if you are asked after consumation, then you can refere to something real like, I fell and that may have been a reason, etc.

 

Also know sister that if the act was only once, and you are still young, then there is a chance that your virginity shield will grow again, you need to ask a gynocologist to assess this for you.

 

Sister the reason why I tell you that you should avoid sharing this with muslim brothers because no matter how pious he is, you should not open doors for the shaytan.. In the future he may use it against you, or it might be a door from the shaytan to doubt you or just fight with you. It can be a cause of extreme jealousy, or even extreme aggression. We have witnessed with our sisters many peoblems when they have shared with the brothers, and it is a wise advise to try not to share.

 

Most importantly remeber sister that Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala ordered us to conceal our sins, and this is valid here too.

 

Since you know now that when you sinned you were not a believer, and that your Islam is like a new birth, then deal with this opportunity in a positive manner. You are a virgin since you bacame a muslim; which is after you renewed your Islam by repenting. You need to change how you think of yourself. Pray that Allah gives you the ability to do so.

also note the mercy of Allah to have most posts here be from brothers, this should be an encouraging sign. but trust me under no conditions should you share with a brother this sin.

 

May Allah help you, guide you, and give you protection.

Given that we have helped sisters with this, I am available for further support or questions if you needs it, or even if you don't need it.

My love and support to you dear sister.

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Assalamu alaykum sister

 

Firstly, I am so sorry that you're going through this. May Allah grant his forgiveness to you sister, and may he accept your sincere repentance and purify your soul. Ameen

 

Great advice from the members above. Sister, please don't feel too agitated, remember that repentance is the most noble form of obedience to Allah subhaana wa ta'aala, and it is the love of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala that he tests his creation with sins that he may shower his blessings upon them when they do repent

You have accomplished the first stage of genuineness, where you have sincerely regretted your sins in the past, but now the next steps would be that you acquire reward through performing good deeds as much as possible because the present and the future matters now, it is where you can make a difference. Whatever bad has happened in the past is plainly history, and lessons can be learnt from history in order to prepare and hope for a better future.

 

‘Those (are the true believers) who, when they commit an evil deed, or wrong their souls, remember Allah, and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who but Allah forgives sins? They do not insist upon the sins they have committed, and they know (that Allah is forgiving)."

(Qur'aan 3:135)

 

And indeed, good deeds wipe out all evil ones.

 

InshaAllah you will, one day, by the grace of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala marry a pious, understanding and caring husband dear sister, keep your trust in him (the Almighty), he loves you and is pleased with you when you sincerely repent for your past sins and seek his mercy and peace.

 

Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassalam said:

"Allah is more delighted with the repentance of His servant than one of you would be, who suddenly finds his camel laden with supplies after losing it in a barren land"

 

I will pray that you overcome this difficult phase sister, and we're all here if you need support or advice.

Wassalamu alaykum

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May Allah Forgive us for our sins

 

You Can Still Find A Pious Man, If they are pious, than forgiveness comes with that.

 

Assalamu alaikum

Edited by Spartan786

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Assalamu alaikum everyone...

 

I appreciate very much all the advice i have recieved from you.... I feel a bit more relieved already!

 

Many excellent points were brought up -- reading these posts has triggered many thoughts as to why i feel the way i do etc. I realize some things I really do need to think over....so insha Allah i'll be doing so to further clear any confusion in my mind...

 

I most certainly agree that sincere repentance is the only way for me to go - and i have truely felt such extreme regret and shame for my action because more than anything else i fear Allah..

and have promised Allah and myself to never ever get near such a terrible thing again insha Allah I won't make that mistake again because I have learned my lesson. But i feel its a lifelong lesson...as if it will carry out through the rest of my life. As someone mentioned I will be punished in this Dunia and the akhira for what I have done. And here i have what i get for doing it in the world...potentially hard time and worry of finding someone who could accept me. . I want to forget...I really desperately wish I could stop thinking about it...but I imagine it won't pan out too well when i want to have a husband...although I would love to get married whenever (ex: some one appropriate wanted to marry me tomarow) I wouldn't have any opposition to it. Rather the idea of marrige at this point just scares me.

I just feel like if i try to forget about it regardless of what I do it will hit me again.

 

I think I noticed that just about one person responded in detail to my question of "Do I have to tell some one interested/a husband, how and when etc?"

That one poster suggested that i ellude as much as possible -- interesting! I thought I was required to share...so now that brings other Questions in my mind:

 

1) Would it be unfair to avoid sharing that..because it's a big deal

I do acknowlege the mentioning of repenting wipes away everything and if accepted by Allah then I should be good as new!..

But unfair in a mans eyes? Would he feel like he got less than he should of..or cheated if he knew?

 

2) It isn't something I would have to tell before I get married....I mean for example if I marry some1 and some how they find out later on...is that being dishonest on my side?

 

I make plenty of duaa and always pray that this matter will run smoothly when it comes up. And will continue to do so insha Allah. Ramadhan is around the corner and will give me extra motivation to do more good deeds. I really will try my best to further cleanse myself..and appreciate all the suggestions....

 

one last thing:

 

I'm still a bit fuzzy on the Tell/Don't tell/How to avoid it part

 

if i can get some more elaboration as to what is acceptable/not in such situations that would be wonderful :sl:

 

Thank you all and may Allah reward you for all of the help and advice you have provided me with!

 

salam

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alsalamu alaikom sister,

 

I am user 'seeking', I am the one who responded to your question above.

 

Inshaa Allah I will compile for you a detailed unswer on this topic. It may take me a couple of days. I will track this post so s to keep being reminded of it.

 

If you wish, you may pm me or e-mail me from an anonymous identity on the following:

here my username is 'seeking'

otherwise you may e-mail me seeking_piety[at]yahoo(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

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Sister,

Inshaa Allah we can also provide help on the phone at our expense. You may forward your contact details to us if you so wish to discuss this problem further.

 

May Allah help us all in the tribulations of this dunya and of death.

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asalaam u laikum.

 

I am new to this forum and this is the first reply i am posting, since i was once directed to this site by someone for advice on a personal problem.

That same person told me once that it is wrong to talk too much about our mistakes, instead learn from them, and move forward in your life as a better, stronger and wiser person.

 

You should not feel that this one mistake in your life is everything that you are, and you should not feel that your future should be based on what someone will think of this one mistake you made, you have accepted it was a mistake and repented for it, and should not let it dominate your life.

 

I hope you understand what i am trying to say, i apologise i am unfortunately not very religous and have started loggin in to this site for knowledge about Islam,but i saw your post and thought it is a concern that faces so many young muslim girls and women in our society now.

 

Inshallah God will give you the strength to carry on with your future, and you will find someone who cares for you , and not about the mistakes you may have made in the past.

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Assalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahee wa Barakatu

 

If you committed a sin privately and it is contained then it is better to keep the sin contained and concealed. When a sin is done in secret, but people expose this sin in public by talking then this is not something we should do.

 

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept your repentance.

 

Salam

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You have committed adultery such a shameful sin is strictly forbidden by Allah and all of his believers! If you truly want to repent your self and that you are truly sorry for that horrible sin you have committed then seek Allah's laws that will purify you from that sin. God said that for those who commit adultery are to be wiped a 100 (not sure about the right number) times if not married, and stoned to death if married. Also god said in his holy book that only a pure man shall marry a pure woman. And the adulterous man is for the adulterous woman. This is god's wisdom and those are his laws.

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Salam,

 

I don't think you have to disclose your past. I can't find an exact match to your situation, but from the second link below, Sh Ahmad Kutty says:

 

Now let us come to the core issue: Should a person disclose his/her past sins to the spouse? The answer is definitely no. Since Allah has covered a person’s sins, it is not anyone’s business to seek to lift Allah’s cover of confidentiality. Thus it is unbecoming of anyone to probe into someone’s sinful past...

 

Links:

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetislamonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503547886"]Must a Wife Tell Her Husband Her Bad Deeds?[/url]

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetislamonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503546714"]A New Convert: Shall I Expose My Past to My Spouse?[/url]

(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetislamonline(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Cyber_Counselor/CyberCounselingE/CyberCounselingE&cid=1120469514737"]Five Weeks of Fornication... Now Married - contribution[/url]

 

You can imagine that disclosing your past would give Shaytan ammunition to cause problems in a marriage. It could easily be brought up in an argument for example. Ignorance is bliss in this respect.

 

Also, it might be idealistic, but some would argue that a person should be married according what they are in the 'here and now', not according to their past.

 

Some other related info (from the 3rd link above):

 

A Muslim is always on a continuum between fear and hope. One of these feelings may dominate over the other at particular situations. An example is when a Muslim sins, fear overtakes him which motivates the process of repentance. When a person sincerely repents then hope should overtake those feelings and forgiveness is then sought. You must be hopeful that Allah (swt) will forgive you.

 

Please also read about the Sinner/Repenter from Bani Israil (also from the 3rd link):

 

It was narrated that in the days that Musa (Alahi salaam) wandered with Bani israel in the desert an intense drought befell them. Together, they raised their hands towards the heavens praying for the blessed rain to come. Then, to the astonishment of Musa (PBUH) and all those watching, the few scattered clouds that were in the sky vanished, the heat poured down, and the drought intensified.

 

It was revealed to Musa that there was a sinner amongst the tribe of Bani israel whom had disobeyed Allah for more than forty years of his life. Let him separate himself from the congregation, Allah told Musa (PBUH). Only then shall I shower you all with rain.

 

Musa (PBUH) then called out to the throngs of humanity, There is a person amongst us who has disobeyed Allah for forty years. Let him separate himself from the congregation and only then shall we be rescued from the drought. That man, waited, looking left and right, hoping that someone else would step forward, but no one did. Sweat poured forth from his brow and he knew that he was the one.

 

The man knew that if he stayed amongst the congregation all would die of thirst and that if he stepped forward he would be humiliated for all eternity.

 

He raised his hands with a sincerity he had never known before, with a humility he had never tasted, and as tears poured down on both cheeks he said: O Allah, have mercy on me! O Allah, hide my sins! O Allah, forgive me!

 

As Musa (PBUH) and the people of Bani israel awaited for the sinner to step forward, the clouds hugged the sky and the rain poured. Musa (PBUH) asked Allah , O Allah, you blessed us with rain even though the sinner did not come forward. And Allah replied, O Musa, it is for the repentance of that very person that I blessed all of Bani israel with water.

 

Musa (PBUH), wanting to know who this blessed man was, asked, Show him to me O Allah! Allah replied, O Musa, I hid his sins for forty years, do you think that after his repentance I shall expose him?

 

Reflect on the wisdom of this hadith which will surely steer you to choose the best approach.

 

May Allah grant you the best in this life and the Hereafter.

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Assalamu Alaikum

 

The bottom line is this:

 

If you marry a practising brother the last thing he would ask you is about your past.

 

If you marry a typical cultural part time muslim brother the first thing he will ask you is about your past.

 

In Islam past sins are in the past, we are not supposed to reveal them to anyone, if he is truly on the deen then he will know this and he won't ask nor will he care, and don't forget it applies to you aswel, you shouldn't ask/care about his past either. That's only if you are both practising..

 

Btw you're not the only one with a past like that, many brothers/sisters who are practising now, have had worst past sins, so don't kill yourself over it, Alhamdullilah you have repented and Allah forgives all sins except associating partners with Him.

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Abu Hurairah Radhiya Allahu `anhu reported that the Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said : "Whoever stands (in prayer) in Lailatul-Qadr out of Eemaan (faith and sincerity) and seeking reward then his previous sins are forgiven". [bukhari]

 

Excellent timing. Any of these last 10 days can by Lailatul Qadr. InshAllah I hope you don't miss this opportunity.:sl:

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:sl:

 

Alhumdulilah for your tawbah. Mabrook. May Allah accept it and keep you away from all haram, ameen.

 

Well, it sounds very difficult, but try not to think about it so much, so that you do not dwell on the past. However, you also do not want to entirely erase it from your memory because you do not want history to repeat itself, maadhAllah.

 

Just keep on increasing your emaan with good deeds :sl: Have lots of taqwa, tawakal and sabr. He (swt) will take care of you. Do not worry about something that hasn't arrived yet. Deal with it when it's time. Allah (swt) will surely reward you with what is best for you, especially since you have given up that sin, masha' Allah. Be grateful for the fact that He saved you and didn't take you soul while you were sinning. That He gave you the tawfeeq to repent and seek forgiveness. That He guided you.

 

Unfortunately, you will have to disclose the fact that you aren't a virgin anymore because that is the right of the person to know, but do not worry about it. Allah will Help you out at the right time :no:

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ÈöÓúãö Çááåö ÇáÑøóÍúãäö ÇáÑøóÍöíãö

 

Assalamu Alaikum Warahamtullahi Wabrakatahu,

 

Insha’Allah you are in the best of health and imaan.

 

I have briefly read through all the replies above so I apologise if I repeat anything. This is clearly a sin of the past; you feel the weight of it on your shoulders even till this present day. You have repented to Allah SWT and have changed your life around because of it, Alhamdulillah these are two great things. There are some sins that come back later on in life and some that one can never let go. It would be best to repent, learn your lesson, make the intention for that to never happen again and move on. I understand in this situation why that may be hard to do. It seems that you have given this a lot of thought and it plays on your mind a lot, I really think you should not do that. You will have your questions about whether you should tell a potential husband or not. You cannot know how they will react if you withhold it or tell them at the time, some will think it is dishonest and some not. Some may think it is a sin of the past and it needs not to be told, and others will want to know. Everyone will hold different opinions, at the time when this approaches I personally think you should just pray Salatul Istikharah and decide. This will be a new life you are building, things of the past need to be let go. Everyone will give you a different answer and to rely on people for such a decision is’nt the best idea, so seek it from your Lord because He knows All.

 

I wish you well, I hope you have got what you needed from here.

 

Wa Alaikum Mus Salam Warahamtullahi Wabrakatahu

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