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maz83

what should i do?

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as salamualikum brothers and sisters

 

i am in need of some advice as i am a bit unsure how to handle this situation. as some of you already know i have recently divorced from my husband. the thing is that i got a call today from a doctor at the hospital. he told me my ex has attempted suicide ( although not sucessfully). he needs someone to look out for him and the thing is his family doesnt have much to do with him since he became muslim. also they live in another state so they will be of little help. Also he doesnt know any muslims besides my family he is actually a bit of a loner who doesnt have many friends. so here is the problem,what should i do? Islamically we are divorced theres no going back on that and nor do i want to go back to him but i still feel responsible like its my moral duty or my familys duty as muslims to make sure he is ok. also if im not there for him and he actually kills himself next time i couldnt live with the guilt yet i also know Islamically im not allowed to have anything to do with him!

so what on earth should i do?

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PropellerAds

salams sis

 

i dont mean to pry but is ur husbands name anthony? becasue i think i might know him. really tall blond white guy?he is at king edwards hospital right? my friend is a nurse there and she tole me about him. if this is the rite guy?

 

dont worry sis he is in need of help which he is getting at the hospital and they wont release him until he is ok. and no offense but he didnt bother worrying about you when you needed him did he? so why should you? he is a big boy and if he said shahada with his heart then he will reach out to muslims himself rather then you having to hold his hand. im sorry if im being harsh sis but its the truth.

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:D

 

Boy that really is a toughy.

 

Sister first and foremost make a lot of dua for him. Second, see if you can somehow get in contact with him via email or letter or something and explain to him that although he is going through a rough time it is not the end of the world by any means and also the severe punishment for someone who takes his life...try and maybe bring up an example of someone else who went through the same situation and how they bounced back.

 

Also, maybe you can have an imam of the local masjid maybe speak to him that is if you don't know of any brothers that could help him out (do you yourself have any brothers).

 

I'm sorry I can't provide you with any better suggestions.

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as aslamualikum

 

sister natasha from ur emails i gathered that you would know him lol you appaer to know the whole planet! yes anthony is my ex and im glad he is in safe hands, if you happen to talk to him i would appreciate you not mention that we are acquainted. who knows? perhaps you can offer him support as a muslim that im unable to.

 

paki bro........... yeah i have 3 brothers and of course my family would help if i asked them to but i dont know if it is appropriate under the circumstances. the imam advice is good but he just wont open up to people thast the whole problem.

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assalamu alikom sis

i have a feeling that u do still care for him

 

but unless u r sure u want to come back to him plz let ur family take care of him...not for his sake if u want,,but for God sake,,,

 

i repeat my wishes that u would help him plz

 

may God guide u to the right path,,ameen

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as salamualikum

 

sister free we are DIVORCED it is haram for us to reunite unless i first marry somone else and get divorced from that person. regardless of what my personal feelings might be.you are correct that he should be taken care of for Allahs sake, jazaakallah for ur advice.

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:D

 

:D you already know this, but in case any of the other members don't, I would like to remind them as well as myself: the remarriage and then getting divorce should not be done on purpose to get back with the previous spouse. Some muslims, unfortunately, do this.. as if life is musical chairs.. quickly changing spouse every few months. We can fool ourselves, and others, but not Allah. Allahu alam.

Edited by ummammaar

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:D

 

There's bound to be some feelings as you have been previuosly married. Islamically you have no obligations towards him other than that you would normally have to any other non-mahram (stranger). No need to feel guilty.

 

Maybe your brothers can help him out, if there's no one else? However they should not really talk about him to you. It should be a clean break between you to - if you understand what I mean. Otherwise you'll be thinking of the what-ifs and all that. Leave it up to your brothers, and you just forget about it.

 

:D

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salaam wa alaikum

i think in this situation that it would be best of a male helps the person who had tried to commit suicide

seeing as maz83, you are divorced from your ex, it would make things complicated if you were involved

islamically, i think it would best be if you would not get involed as you are no relations to the guy anymore

and a mahran would need to be htere if two people talk

ask the doctor to talk

or phone a helpline

evryeon has soe fmaily offriends even if they are unwilling to tlak

i am sure that if you explain the situation they would help

hope things work out

 

Allahfiz

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Guest Soldier_777

Salam sister...

 

..Very sad to hear of your experiences, mind me asking a irrelavant question...but anthony seems like a christians name, WERE u married to a christian?....

 

P.S - thx for posting on my topic... everyones got problems rite?

 

wasalam x

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salaam wa alaikum

this is a counselling room and obviously we post abut our experinces etc. (i am not being unkind or nasty, forgive me if you think i am).

 

a good point raised, if the person was a non muslim then maybe he shouldof convertted

 

wa alaikum salaam

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Salam sister...

 

..Very sad to hear of your experiences, mind me asking a irrelavant question...but anthony seems like a christians name, WERE u married to a christian?....

 

P.S - thx for posting on my topic... everyones got problems rite?

 

wasalam x

 

as salamualikum

 

no i wasnt married to a non muslim lol anthony is a convert muslim who kept his name after his conversion. and id like to add that for the most part he was a practising faithful muslim when i knew him.

 

dont thank me bro thats what we are here for also u got some real nutters giving you advice in there!

Edited by maz83

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salaam wa alaikum

this is a counselling room and obviously we post abut our experinces etc. (i am not being unkind or nasty, forgive me if you think i am).

 

a good point raised, if the person was a non muslim then maybe he shouldof convertted

 

wa alaikum salaam

 

he did convert sister funny how we automatically assume that just becasue someones name isnt ahmed or abdullah that he isnt muslim.

 

also i clearly stated in my opening post that "his family doesnt have much to do with him SINCE HE BECAME MUSLIM" does that imply that i was married to a christian?

Edited by maz83

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salam,

 

lol..sister asian is confused in all the threads.. :D

 

Please sister take the advice given by the brothers and sisters.

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salaam wa alaikum

part of my name on this forum is asian-are you saying i am confused?

 

nevertheless- maz83 i would like to add that anthony-from my experience-is used by non-muslims-im sorry-next time i shall read the post carefully, inshallah

 

no it also doesnt imply he was a christian-sorry if i offended you in anyway sister

 

sister, we have well most of given you good advice, alhamdulillah so its now up to you to put your trust in Allah s.w.t.

 

may Allah s.w.t. guide evrey brother and sister of mine to the right path. (siratul mustaqeem) ameen

 

wa alaikum salaam

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