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Lowering The Gaze – Women And Man’s Desires

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Lowering the gaze – Women and man’s desires

 

I begin by asking Allah to cure me of a wide spread disease, the disease of the un-restricted gaze and I pray that He guides me whilst I am writing this and whilst you are reading this inshAllah.

 

I have long been suffering by giving free reign to my eyes, suffering physically and spiritually, which has brought me to write my thoughts onto paper, or more specifically, onto the medium by which I am causing my destruction, the internet. I pray that Allah guides me through this state of heedlessness that I am in, to bring me our near to Him and into the beauty of Islaam, for what is better than being close to Allah!

 

You may be suffering from this too, for I have found it is a wide spread disease, common amongst Muslims unfortunately. For years I have been looking at internet sites, looking at women in the street, just to satisfy my sick desire for women. But we must remember, as young single Muslim men, that our purpose in life is not to follow our desires. If it were, there would be no need to Islaam, which is the complete surrender of your soul – and hence your desires – to the One who created us. Therefore, if our desires are not in line with the obligations placed on us by Islaam, we are not Muslim.

 

The Prophet Muhammad – may Allah bless him and exalt him – said that there is a cure for EVERYTHING, except death. Therefore if you feel trapped, do not – for there is a cure but you must strive if you are going to achieve it. And this striving, is the ultimate difference between Jannah and Jahannam.

 

Before the cure, ponder over these ayat of Allah:

 

“Every soul shall have a taste of death

And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense

Only he who is saved far from the fire

And admitted to the Garden will have obtained the object (of life)

For the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception†3:185

 

“When My servants ask thee concerning Me,

I am indeed close (to them)

I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me

Let them also, with a will, listen to My call

And believe in Me

That they may walk in the right way.†2:185

 

SubhanAllah! Just think about YOUR Lord, who created you, sustains you, feeds you, clothes you, educates you, loves you, and how many people, just like you are there in this world!

 

I know it is hard, for the charms of women are many, but keep yourself chaste, it is purer for you. Imagine life with your wife, do you really want these haraam images to be affecting your relationship?

 

So the cure is simple, if you really want this cure, observe the 3 steps below:

1. Read salat ul fajr every day at its appointed time, in congregation if possible

2. Read the Book of Allah, if you don’t know Arabic, read a translation

3. Pray tahajjud every day, keep perservering, do not give up

 

BUT! Before you do, regardless of which item it is above, ensure you are doing it for Allah alone and imagine His greatness whilst performing these acts.

 

Personally, whenever I commit this sin, I keep persisting, but inshAllah I am going to implement the above 3 steps. When I commit the sin, I feel depressed, cannot think or comprehend people, I become shy, my heart turns into a rock and I feel like the scum of society. Why do this when Islaam can enlighten your heart, and provide you with the pleasures of women through marriage.

 

I leave you with 2 hadith to ponder over:

 

(10) Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "When it is the last third of the night, our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, descends every night to the heaven of the world and says, 'Is there anyone who invokes Me (demand anything from Me), that I may respond to his invocation; Is there anyone who asks Me for something that I may give (it to) him; Is there anyone who asks My forgiveness that I may forgive him?' " (Book #75, Hadith #333)

 

 

(45) Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard the Prophet saying, "If somebody commits a sin and then says, 'O my Lord! I have sinned, please forgive me!' and his Lord says, 'My slave has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for it, I therefore have forgiven my slave (his sins).' Then he remains without committing any sin for a while and then again commits another sin and says, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah says, 'My slave has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for it, I therefore have forgiven my slave (his sin). Then he remains without Committing any another sin for a while and then commits another sin (for the third time) and says, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah says, 'My slave has known that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for it I therefore have forgiven My slave (his sin), he can do whatever he likes." (Book #93, Hadith #598)

 

Oh Allah, help us, forgive us, protect us from Your displeasure, and instill the light of emaan in our hearts. Ameen.

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You may be suffering from this too, for I have found it is a wide spread disease, common amongst Muslims.

 

I hear that Catholics and conservative Christians have a problem with it also.

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indeed, for a young muslim man it is somewhat difficult. but it is the work of satian to get you to look. simply look at the ground, or in the eyes of the woman you are speaking to. skip the body, just immagin her 80 years from now, do you want to look at that with desire? becasue remember look only last so long.

 

this is th e trap satian has set for us. he want us to marry somone beautifull, or to commit adulty with them. to marry for beauty is shallow, and shows that your own deen is not true submision to Allah. marry a woman with a stong faith(i forget where i read that from). and adultry, well we all know that is haram.

 

to keep your gaze down is to not only protect yoursself from harming yoursself, but its also to help you stay modest. modesty is tied in with faith, so the stronger your faith, the more modest you are.

 

regarless of all the horamones pumping through your body, remember that Allah has given you that drive to help yourself, and to help mankind, and to keep the ummah once you are in a halal marrage.

 

but it is not a desease. Allah would not have given you this drive just to buden mankind. Allah has a perfect plan, and this all fits into it.

 

but it is a test. the test is: keep your eyes and intentions pure if you are a beliver, and you will will be rewarded tenfold. to keep looking is to be a hypicrite, and only satian loves that. if we want a strong woman in marrage, one who is good and truly pure, lower your gaze. Allah will only let you wed somone of your own stature(i forget where i read this too)

 

take it from me brother. before i reverted to Islam, i used to shamlessly flirt all the time. nothing good came out of it. so be strong and steadfast and paitent with yourself, you will thnak Allah much.

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If Allah programmed our bodies to be attracted to certain features how is pursueing those features harram?

 

Has shaittan also programmed our bodies?

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no, satian has no part in programming our bodies.

 

it is haram to pursue them becasue if you are not married it is adultry. if you are married, then its extre-marial sex.

 

the logic behind it is to prevent you from harming yourself, from sin and otherwise.

 

for example: a look, it leads to a touch, which leads to holding hands, wich leads to a hug, then a kiss, you see where im going with this.

 

then afterwards, if you are female, you can be pregnet without in a marrage, which leads to a possible run-away father. and as a child raised by only a mother, i can tell you its not easy on her, or the child. due to the fact that the mother now cairres the responsibilites of the father as well.

 

and then theres always the chance of getting infected. or heartbroken. the list of bad things goes on and on.

 

the one for sure way to prevent al lthis is to wait till after marrage to have intercourse. it keeps society clean, you are loving in Allahs name, not out of fling. the child(ren) are garenteed a good home.

 

Indeed Allah knows best for all of us, and his knowledge of human emothion is perfect, while ours is not even half perfect.

 

if you were to ask Allah what love is, he would give you a definite answer. ask 2 different humans, and they will give you 2 different answers.

 

also self respect. having sex with everyone you can generally leads to many bad things.

 

andl last but not least, you do it out of love for Allah. Allah gives us all this, we should obey his every command as muslims.

 

this is why we lower our gaze, becasue muslims are human too, and modesty is our shield. to precent anything from happening, we must prevent the first thing in the chain of events and that is a lustfull gaze.

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:sl:

 

If Allah programmed our bodies to be attracted to certain features how is pursueing those features harram?

 

Has shaittan also programmed our bodies?

 

You are right in saying that we humans are attracted to certain things; whether it be women, money, luxury etc. As Muslims we have to give up these things (unless it's done according to the Law of Allah) as this is part of submitting oneself to the Creator. So as Muslims yes we are supposed to lower our gaze as it's not permissible for us to look at a woman in that way. Islam is all about submitting yourself to Allah; not doing what's easy or suits you. Islam is not about following your own desires.

 

We have been given this life as a test; we will all be questioned as to how we used our bodies or what we looked at with our eyes and so on. Does this answer your question?

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We have been given this life as a test; we will all be questioned as to how we used our bodies or what we looked at with our eyes and so on. Does this answer your question?

 

Sort of. This is the same thing I hear from a lot of Christians. Let me illustrate a common conversation:

 

God's creation is perfect and he does everything for a reason!

Then why do you feel bad about pre-marital relationships when God is telling you to have them?

 

The Bible tells us not to have them!

 

Then why do we have the urges--is God's creation coming in conflict with his scripture?

 

No! It is a challenge. The rules we have are straight forward--they make sense. If there is premarital relationships disease will spread, the family system will break down, and there will be single mothers.

 

But what about condoms and birth control and testing for disease? Wouldn't it make more sense if it were a religious duty to satisfy the body safely?

 

No! The Bible tells us certain rules we must follow!

 

Why?

The Bible says!

 

You know that the Bible is a book that was cobbled together over hundreds of years. That there are hundreds of contradictions and it was actually written by man. Right?

 

No!! The Bible is perfect! Go away sinner!

 

---

 

Minus claiming that the Bible is perfect, that's the conversation I am taking away from this thread.

 

Is that accurate? All of this hinges on the belief that the Koran is the absolute, unchallengeable word of Allah? Despite our biology pointing us in a different direction?

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We have certain desires - self-preservation, sex, having children, being loved, companionship, seeking shelter, having power and security, hunger, thirst. Islam denies none of these desires. These desires make us human. Instead, Islam guides us and tells us when and how we should satisfy all of these desires.

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condoms and birth control dont protect your self-respect and dignity.

 

as i said, sleeping arround leads to only bad things, people get hurt, then do things they regret. then they have made a fool of themself and people will remember this, thus you get a bad reputation. condoms and birth contol, while very successfull at what they do, are stil lnot perfect. every now and then a condom will break or a pill will not work. also people tend to forget to take their pill somtimes. and during parties, you pight pack a condom, but when your really drunk, you tend to not care about putting it on.

 

which leads to another point, social "dominance". sex is a good way to control somone, or a group of people. many men have done horrible things just for their lady, beause they have control over them, and vice versa. then when a bad breakup happens, many women are called derogatory things, other men will step in thinking they are being a gentleman, and a fight insues. somone ends up getting knocked out, sent to the hospital, and never wakes up.

 

yes that is a situation that dose happen. not alot, but it dose, i live in a small town and i have heard of it, in this small town. it all happened becasue somone decided not to lower their gaze.

 

Allah dosent just spew commands to burden us. no, he is indeed looking out for our best intrests, and with his perfect knowledge he knows all answers to all problems. We follow them becasue we know this to be true.

 

for example, no pork. many people ask: "why dont you eat pork?" and my reply is "because parasites live in pig meat, which leads to health problems."

 

now the thing is that i dident know this till yesterday night, but i still knew that there was a reason why Allah says not to eat pork.

 

why not get drunk? well im sure you can think of many reasons on your own there.

 

drugs? again, easy enough.

 

when you dont understand why a commandment is given, it is not the fault of the creator, it the fault of the created.

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Then why do you feel bad about pre-marital relationships when God is telling you to have them?

 

Where is God telling us to have pre-marital relationships? Please do show me where God is telling us to have pre-marital relationships.

 

Then why do we have the urges--is God's creation coming in conflict with his scripture?

 

What are you talking about, friend? Let me tell you something ...one of the amazing things about the Qur'an is that it paints a perfect picture of how human beings are. I'll give you some verses.

 

And if We make man taste mercy from Us, then take it off from him, most surely he is despairing, ungrateful. [11:9]

 

And He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favours of Allah, never will ye be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude. [14:34]

 

The prayer that man should make for good, he maketh for evil; for man is given to hasty (deeds). [17:11]

 

We have explained in detail in this Qur'an, for the benefit of mankind, every kind of similitude: but man is, in most things, contentious. [18:54]

 

It is He Who gave you life, will cause you to die, and will again give you life: Truly man is a most ungrateful creature! [22:66]

 

These are just a few verses; there are MANY verses in the Qur'an which talk about man. The Creator knows His creation better than anyone else, better than ourselves.

 

But what about condoms and birth control and testing for disease? Wouldn't it make more sense if it were a religious duty to satisfy the body safely?

 

It is actually a religious duty to satisfy you and your partners desires. That is; when you are MARRIED, not out of marriage. We aren't animals - do you think of yourself as an animal? Do you think it is ok for you to "satisfy the body safely" with anyone you fancy? I mean, woah... people always attack Islam because how it supposidly degrades women but you've just taken it to a complete different level.

 

And when harm toucheth you upon the sea, all unto whom ye cry (for succour) fail save Him (alone), but when He bringeth you safe to land, ye turn away, for man was ever thankless. [17:67]

 

Now, if they embark on a boat, they call on Allah, making their devotion sincerely (and exclusively) to Him; but when He has delivered them safely to (dry) land, behold, they give a share (of their worship to others)! [29:65]

 

When a wave covers them like the canopy (of clouds), they call to Allah, offering Him sincere devotion. But when He has delivered them safely to land, there are among them those that halt between (right and wrong). But none reject Our Signs except only a perfidious ungrateful (wretch)! [31:32]

 

Typical example of man... when we are in need we will call to our Lord ...but once we are saved from whatever harm we forget all about our asking for help.

 

May Allah have Mercy on you. Do not be of those who call out to their Lord once death is approaching; once it is too late and the doors of repentance is closing shut. Call out to your Lord now and ask for guidance and you will be guided.

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JazakAllahkhayr brother Andre. May Allah bless you. Please keep me in your du'as inshAllah

 

 

May Allah bless the entire ummah, and protect it, and help you in all your struggles brother.

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May Allah have Mercy on you. Do not be of those who call out to their Lord once death is approaching; once it is too late and the doors of repentance is closing shut. Call out to your Lord now and ask for guidance and you will be guided.

I called out. No one answered. Then I found out that spiritual feelings were a function of the human brain. Some people have them, some don't. I don't. Whoops. I'm going to hell if there is one. (There isn't).

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I called out. No one answered. Then I found out that spiritual feelings were a function of the human brain. Some people have them, some don't. I don't. Whoops. I'm going to hell if there is one. (There isn't).

 

 

i love you too.

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I called out. No one answered. Then I found out that spiritual feelings were a function of the human brain. Some people have them, some don't. I don't. Whoops. I'm going to hell if there is one. (There isn't).

 

Questioner, you seem to think you already have all the answers. If that's the way you want to play it then you wont be satisified until you see the Fire for yourself. You can believe that the entire universe somehow created itself; yet you can't believe that there is life after death ...that sounds rather strange to me... believing what you want to believe and disbelieving what you want to disbelieve?

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Agreeing with my fellow brother you do seem to be bragging about going to hell...but really those who believe in it and fear it know what it has in store for the disbelievers..remember Allah guides those He wants to guide and leads astray those he wants to lead astray...may Allah(SWT) guide us all to the straight path..ameen

 

Jazakum allahu khayrn

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Asalamu Alaykum brother...thank you for sharing with us...may Allah(swt) increase your courage...remember all answers are given in this world, we just have to take the pains in finding it...may Allah(swt) forgive us all in our sins, Allah is Most-Mercifull, All-Forgiving..

 

Lowering you gaze does protect you from harm and protects your self-respect and dignity...it also increases your iman..

 

If you have the urge to go on the website to search women..take refuge from the satan say AAUDO BILLAHI MIN ALSHAYTANI RAJIM....then think about the hell fire. its simple.....Allah has allowed to to marry 4 women..i think thats enough to statisfy your desire....may Allah(swt) guide us all..ameen

 

Jazakum allahu khayrn

 

 

"For He(Allah) guides those he wants to guide,and leads astray those he wills."

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one question i do have though is that if you are talking to a woman at work, or even on the street such as an old friend, do you still keep your gaze low, or can you look them in the eye with pure intents?

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If you have the urge to go on the website to search women..take refuge from the satan say AAUDO BILLAHI MIN ALSHAYTANI RAJIM....then think about the hell fire. its simple.....

 

Men and women are different and your advice doesn't apply to most men. For women the urges are closely related to emotions and ideas. For me it is just about images, not the people. This is a scientific fact.

 

You can believe that the entire universe somehow created itself;

 

No one knows why existence exists.

 

yet you can't believe that there is life after death ...that sounds rather strange to me... believing what you want to believe and disbelieving what you want to disbelieve?

 

Where am I going to get the answers? From a book? What book? Well, if your from where I'm from, it would be the Bible. Why the Bible? Same reasons you choose the Koran. People justify their religious choices the same way the world over, everyone believing that they have it right and other people have it wrong.

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Men and women are different and your advice doesn't apply to most men. For women the urges are closely related to emotions and ideas. For me it is just about images, not the people. This is a scientific fact.

how did it not relate to men? she was saying that if want to look at ######, keep in mind of hell. also Allah has created us, he knows what turns a man and a women on better then we could ever know. this is why men lower their gaze, so they dont see physical immages. no physical immages=much much less desire. try it one day, just to test yourself against Allah's wisdom. dont check out the ladies, if you see a woman, look at your feet, or the sky, or anything else but another woman. if you deny this test, this proves to me that you are argueing just for the sake of arguing and thus have no will to learn or test out your own ideas of how things should be.

 

No one knows why existence exists.

Allah dose, and he told us through the prophet(peace be uppon him). we were created to serve Allah, and to submit to his will. and to serve mankind.

 

Where am I going to get the answers? From a book? What book? Well, if your from where I'm from, it would be the Bible. Why the Bible? Same reasons you choose the Koran. People justify their religious choices the same way the world over, everyone believing that they have it right and other people have it wrong.

 

you know, the underlying morals of christianity and Islam are related. help thy neighbour and such. unfortanatly the bible has been proven to have been changed over the years. it is not the same now as it was 2000 years ago. so many things are also different from Islam. for instance nuns are supposed to stay virgins till they die. according to your logic this is wrong. and you are right, it is against nature, against Allah that somone stays a virgin untill they die. Allah wants us to get married, and make love and all that. how are we supposed to keep the human race going without having kids? Allah answered us through the qur'an by saying that marrage is the permissable way to have intercourse. intercourse=kids. kids raised to be good=a better world for us all to live in. look at all the social problems we have. really turn on jerry springer, people dont even know who the daddy is any more becasue people dont protect themself.

 

also if your looking to the bible, flip to the end where it says the day of judgment will come and we will all be judged for our sins. and yet you still dont belive in the after life.

 

i dont know where your from, but im from the west, canada to be specific, in the middle of a christian town. and the qur'an has answers to everything if you actually look for it. ask me some random question, i will find the the answer for you, i can promise you this.

 

in essence your arguments only support Islam. i have called onto you 2 things i want you to try. try it just for fun, see if you can prove Allah wrong.

 

 

 

salam.

Edited by André

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No one knows why existence exists.

 

Oh, so you don't have an answer for everything? Yet when you are given the answer you reject it based on what exactly? You say that the world just "exists" and we say it has a Creator like everything else in this universe ...you find it hard to believe that the universe was created, yet the idea that everything just "exists" sits easy with you? ...how strange.

 

This isn't even about which scripture you follow. The Qur'an and the Bible both speak of a Creator; Muslims and Christians both accept that there is a God - what do you believe?

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Men and women are different and your advice doesn't apply to most men. For women the urges are closely related to emotions and ideas. For me it is just about images, not the people. This is a scientific fact.

 

*"me" was supposed to be "men."

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If Allah programmed our bodies to be attracted to certain features how is pursueing those features harram?

 

Has shaittan also programmed our bodies?

 

Let's pretend God "programmed us" to find certain features attractive. So if something is attractive to our human minds and body, we should throw caution to the wind and pursue it? I think not.

 

Also, there ISN'T hellfire? You must be omniscient.

 

Men and women are different and your advice doesn't apply to most men. For women the urges are closely related to emotions and ideas. For me it is just about images, not the people. This is a scientific fact.

 

Seeking protection in God from baser and more evil desires, as well as avoiding temptation, are as effective for men as they are for women. All of this talk about "emotions and ideas" and "images, not people" does not apply to "most men" as you say it does. Muslim men worldwide have never disputed this advice, because they know that it works. And if it doesn't, it's failure on the person's part, not because of their gender.

 

In fact, I'm sure that even the brothers in this topic would disagree with your theory. Perhaps you should realize that as a non-Muslim, you find certain things to be impossible because you lack insight and more importantly, faith.

 

Salam.

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Assalamu Alaikum

 

JazakAllah khair for your reminder and advice. May Allah (swt) protect us all from zina of the eyes, Ameen.

 

Here's a video I made earlier about lowering your gaze:

 

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JazakAllahkhayr, a great video - alhamdulilah, the best one i've seen. May Allah reward you for your sincere efforts.

 

Please remember me and the Ummah in your precious du'as

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