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white_heart

Forgivness

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This may be a difficult question to answer. I am christian and was together with an egyptian, supposed to have some sort of marriage contract but was never registered. Anyway he was always taking money from me when I visited and asking for money. I have found out he has lied and cheated me and everything was for himself and not for us. Really my question is.........If I dont forgive him for what he has done will Allah forgive him.

 

Would appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you.

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This may be a difficult question to answer. I am christian and was together with an egyptian, supposed to have some sort of marriage contract but was never registered. Anyway he was always taking money from me when I visited and asking for money. I have found out he has lied and cheated me and everything was for himself and not for us. Really my question is.........If I dont forgive him for what he has done will Allah forgive him.

 

Would appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you.

 

If this person is found to be a Believer on the Day of Judgement by God, then God will forgive him because God forgives all sins except Shirk (the definition can mean a host of things, but it basically means associating partners with Him). For Shirk to be forgiven, you have to repent in this lifetime. If you die without having repented from it, you are doomed. God will eventually forgive a person even if he had commited theft, adultery or murder as long as he has not died on Shirk. The person might have to spend some time in Hell, not necessarily though, but eventually he'd forgiven, purified and be an inhabitant of Paradise.

 

And as for advice, you obviously need to stay away from conartists, whether they are Jews, Christians or Muslims. You also need to be wiser when selecting partners for marriage. Giving future or supposed spouses lots of money and not being formally registered in marriage is bad. You need to watch out for yourself.

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salam

 

Aren't there sins that require the forgiveness of a human being such as oppression against a human being?

 

Yes, you should ask people for forgiveness when you have commited a sin against them but that doesn't mean that God absolutely cannot forgive you even if the person does not forgive you. As I said, the only sin God has vowed not to forgive is Shirk (and even Shirk can be atoned for before death). God is the Judge and He will settle disputes on the Day of Judgement, and He will make it so that all Believers are eventually forgiven.

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If you were swindled shouldn't you report this case to the authorities, if it's possible?

 

Justice, punishment of the wrongdoers and law are necessary for maintaining social order, so it should be ok for you to take action if you're a victim of fraud. However if that person improves his behavior over-time you should be able to put your anger at rest and pardon him if not forgive him entirely. That's not to say you fall into anyone's trap again; developing the ability to discern what is true will be useful for you in that you'll make better choices next time so as to avoid getting cheated in situations like this again. As for whether Allah will forgive him, that is between him and God. If he amends his ways, it's likely. If he doesn't, it's very unlikely. And if he did amend his ways, he might ask for your forgiveness, or he might not, at the end of the day it'll remain between him and God for God is the best of judges. These verses will help:

 

“those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.” (ash-Shura 42: 37)

 

“The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah.” (al-Shura 42: 40)

 

“If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah.” (an-Nahl:126-127)

 

The general principle usually is that God is on the side of the oppressed or those that have been treated unjustly, but it's a duty upon humans to seek justice in this world for the crime and injustices committed against them as well as the day of Judgment (don't confuse this with the idea of revenge). Also, be careful in future.

 

:sl:

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If you were swindled shouldn't you report this case to the authorities, if it's possible?

 

Justice, punishment of the wrongdoers and law are necessary for maintaining social order, so it should be ok for you to take action if you're a victim of fraud. However if that person improves his behavior over-time you should be able to put your anger at rest and pardon him if not forgive him entirely. That's not to say you fall into anyone's trap again; developing the ability to discern what is true will be useful for you in that you'll make better choices next time so as to avoid getting cheated in situations like this again. As for whether Allah will forgive him, that is between him and God. If he amends his ways, it's likely. If he doesn't, it's very unlikely. And if he did amend his ways, he might ask for your forgiveness, or he might not, at the end of the day it'll remain between him and God for God is the best of judges. These verses will help:

 

“those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.†(ash-Shura 42: 37)

 

“The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah.†(al-Shura 42: 40)

 

“If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah.†(an-Nahl:126-127)

 

The general principle usually is that God is on the side of the oppressed or those that have been treated unjustly, but it's a duty upon humans to seek justice in this world for the crime and injustices committed against them as well as the day of Judgment (don't confuse this with the idea of revenge). Also, be careful in future.

 

:sl:

 

All i want to know is, if i dont forgive him and he carries on in this way will Allah forgive him

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Hello white heart, I checked your question with a scholar and this is what he said:

 

From the question you posted it is hard to reply in simple words because we cannot understand what really happened between the two of you, we only have the story from one side.

 

Saying that normally the way it works is, If this Egyptian person has done injustice towars you, then he should accept his fault seek forgiveness from you, it is up to you to forgive him or not. If you forgive him, then good, if you don't, then Allah being Most Just will not forgive him for the injustice done towards you. If a person breaks the laws of Allah while believing in Allah, then it's up to Allah to forgive or not, but for injustice done towards another person, then the person in question will have to forgive first.

 

If this man asks you for forgiveness from you and you decide that you don't want to, then on the day of Judgement Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala will transfer the good deeds of this person (equal to the injustice done towards you) into your account and then decide the fate of the person.

 

Now you might ask, how would Allah know how much injustice was done to you, I can tell you that Allah IS ALL KNOWING AND THE MOST JUST, and on the day of Judgement he will do justice to everyone.

 

I hope you understand what I am saying, if there is any more questions you can ask here or the other sections of the Forum. Like the others mentioned Forgiving someone needs a big heart, but brigs peace and satisfaction to the person wo forgives. On the Day of Judgement all of us will be waiting for Allah to forgive us for the bad things we did.

 

Bye, Take care.

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