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Should I Believe? Weak Muslim Needs Help.

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Hello... this is the first time i have used a forum. Hope someone can help.


As a first note, i really hope no one takes offence from anything i have to say. I am just putting across my thoughts and would love to read feedback on these, especially from strong believers or maybe converts.


However, i have been struggling to understand and blindly accept some aspects of Islam. I just can't seem to 'connect' with Islam as those i see around me, even my own family. I have been told that it's because i'm refusing to accept the 'truth' and that i should become more religious. But there are many things that seem to be pushing me further away from Islam and i was hoping someone maybe able to explain why.


One thing i have strongly disagreed with is that it seems that some people blindly follow Islam accepting everthing that is put infront of them without question. I find this quite saddening because it just reiterates my view of some Muslims being 'brainwashed' to accept things rather then choosing to learn and understand things. On numerous occasions, i have questioned strong believers on certain issues and they are not able to explain the reasons behind their belief, just that they belive it. I love to question and analyse things in order to understand them... but the more i do so with Islam... the more brick walls i come to.


One thing i have noticed is that the majority of non- believers do not seem to make the connection between this life and life after death. However, this is also another area that i would like to discuss. As in one of the other posts... someone stated that you shouldn't follow one religion entirely out of fear. However, i have been told by many that i should have fear inside me... of what will happen to me after i die, and that should encourage me to focus more on becoming a 'better muslim'. But my biggest arguement against this is that i really don't feel scared at all about the hereafter. Why should i be scared? I have never murdered anyone, i have never commited any crimes, i see myself as an extremely moral person and dedicate my working career to helping children. But i have been told that people complete so many sins, every day.... (according to Islam though) like watching tv, listening to the radio..... is that such a bad thing? I believe that i will have to answer answer to all my actions throughout my life but i don't believe that i would have a lot to answer for... so far.


I don't know my thoughts stem from the fact that i didn't go to Masjid when i was younger... long story.... I really don't want to be considered as ignorant to Islam but there doesn't seem to be anything pulling me towards learning more. I don't pray because i really don't see the point. I understand that some of you may say that it brings you closer to Allah... but i never feel anything at all when i pray apart from just completing the actions and saying the words.

I tried to wear a headscarf for nearly a year but found this didn't help. Also iam shocked to realise the amount of 'good' muslims wearing the head scarf who behave in such a hyprocrytical way. This also makes me wonder whether Allah will excuse all their serious wrong- doings- just because they pray 5 times a day. I know i shouldn't judge other poeple but i just wonder why they bother..... if Allah can see everything they do... in some cases seriously harming someone's life in various ways, do they think they can get away with it?


I also recently visited a country governed by Shariah law for the first time and was shocked by what i had seen. This is mainly because of the way in which women are presented in the eyes of the legal system. The attitudes of men in general towards women was disgusting and made me so angry and i definitely woudn't ever want to live in such a country.


I just feel like i am lost at the moment... i don't know which road to follow... if you feel that you can help me at all, please do.


I was even considering going on an Islamic retreat... i saw this really amazing programme in 2007 about a mix of people living in an Islamic retreat in Spain. Sometimes i feel that if i had that experience it would bring me closer to Allah. I see the way i am and the way i think as almost shameful... i don't usually talk about these things with muslims incase i offend anyone.


Thank you for reading.

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You need to learn more until you achieve certainty in the knowledge and understanding.


Start learning and understanding the 6 Pillars of Faith:


1. Belief in God

2. Belief in the Prophets and Messengers

3. Belief in the Holy Scriptures

4. Belief in the Angels

5. Belief in the Day of Judgement, Paradise and Hellfire, Life after Death

6. Belief in Predestination (Al Qadar)


Learn them until you understand them.


Be patient.

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Assalamo Alaykom wa RahmatuAllahi wa Barakatuhu


Thank you for sharing this with us sister :sl:


I really felt bad because of what you said, not because you offended me (you didn't!!) , but because I can see that you are feeling bad because of this.


I would love to chat with you insha'Allah, maybe I can help you understanding some of the points you find "pointless"..But my knowledge level is not very good, because I am still learning things myself, but I can help you with the things I can. Insha'Allah. After you have posted 10 messages on the forum you will be able to use your personal message-thingy. So I'll send you a PM when I can telling you my e-mail adress that we can talk more insha'Allah. :no:


I reverted to Islam a few years back, and have been on this forum since. You can find some of my old posts here, including my reversion story. And I can be honest to you, at first I did have the same thoughts as you did, I had only the belief and love towards Allah but I couldn't understand everything.


Insha'Allah we can chat later in detail. :sl:


May Allah subhaanahu wa taala guide you and make your Path in Islam easier, ameen.




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Assalam Alykom


Islam is not praying 5 times only , Mohamed peace be upon him said : " the religion is how you treat people " .


everyone will get rewarded about good things he or she has done , and he or she will be punished if they would do anything bad , no one said that if you pray 5 times and then you steal or cheat then you will go to Jannah .


Islam is an easy going religion , you have to use your common sense to know is this halal or haram about simple things and ask the Imams about things which confuses you , for example , radio , it is haram if you listen to bad things talking about alcohol , bad music , and it is fine if you listen nasheed or Quran , or any program which doesnot talk about any haram things


You should ask about questions in your mind , this will inshallah make things clear


as the other brother said : be patient and go up the ladder step by step



Edited by Proud To Be Muslim

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But i have been told that people complete so many sins, every day.... (according to Islam though) like watching tv, listening to the radio..... is that such a bad thing? I believe that i will have to answer answer to all my actions throughout my life but i don't believe that i would have a lot to answer for... so far.


This here is the problem; if you knew what Allah requires from you, you would not be saying this. You are required to pray 5 times a day, this is the command of Allah - what is worse than disobeying the command of Allah? Also, you say that you don't feel anything when you pray, this is because you are lacking sincerity. How can you become more sincere in your worship? Think about all the blessings Allah has given you... all that you have to be grateful for, things that you take for granted.


And He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favours of Allah, never will ye be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude. [14:34]


Take time in your worship, make sure that you actually understand what you are saying; it shouldn't be just movement. When we are in salah, we are in contact with Allah, the thought of this should humble us and make us concentrate.


Most importantly we need to remember Allah as much as we can, and more. We need to make duaa to Allah and ask for His help, and get closer to Allah.


So my advice to you (and others, including myself) would be to try and remember Allah more whether it be in thought, reading Qur'an, seeking knowledge, praying etc. But definitely, try and read more Qur'an, I think that would be the first step to take, and remember Allah more.


Just to get you started here is a surah from the Qur'an (Surah 74), which sends shivers down my spine:


1. O thou wrapped up (in the mantle)!


2. Arise and deliver thy warning!


3. And thy Lord do thou magnify!


4. And thy garments keep free from stain!


5. And all abomination shun!


6. Nor expect, in giving, any increase (for thyself)!


7. But, for thy Lord's (Cause), be patient and constant!


8. Finally, when the Trumpet is sounded,


9. That will be- that Day - a Day of Distress,-


10. Far from easy for those without Faith.


11. Leave Me alone, (to deal) with the (creature) whom I created (bare and) alone!-


12. To whom I granted resources in abundance,


13. And sons to be by his side!-


14. To whom I made (life) smooth and comfortable!


15. Yet is he greedy-that I should add (yet more);-


16. By no means! For to Our Signs he has been refractory!


17. Soon will I visit him with a mount of calamities!


18. For he thought and he plotted;-


19. And woe to him! How he plotted!-


20. Yea, Woe to him; How he plotted!-


21. Then he looked round;


22. Then he frowned and he scowled;


23. Then he turned back and was haughty;


24. Then said he: "This is nothing but magic, derived from of old;


25. "This is nothing but the word of a mortal!"


26. Soon will I cast him into Hell-Fire!


27. And what will explain to thee what Hell-Fire is?


28. Naught doth it permit to endure, and naught doth it leave alone!-


29. Darkening and changing the colour of man!


30. Over it are Nineteen.


31. And We have set none but angels as Guardians of the Fire; and We have fixed their number only as a trial for Unbelievers,- in order that the People of the Book may arrive at certainty, and the Believers may increase in Faith,- and that no doubts may be left for the People of the Book and the Believers, and that those in whose hearts is a disease and the Unbelievers may say, "What symbol doth Allah intend by this ?" Thus doth Allah leave to stray whom He pleaseth, and guide whom He pleaseth: and none can know the forces of thy Lord, except He and this is no other than a warning to mankind.


32. Nay, verily: By the Moon,


33. And by the Night as it retreateth,


34. And by the Dawn as it shineth forth,-


35. This is but one of the mighty (portents),


36. A warning to mankind,-


37. To any of you that chooses to press forward, or to follow behind;-


38. Every soul will be (held) in pledge for its deeds.


39. Except the Companions of the Right Hand.


40. (They will be) in Gardens (of Delight): they will question each other,


41. And (ask) of the Sinners:


42. "What led you into Hell Fire?"


43. They will say: "We were not of those who prayed;


44. "Nor were we of those who fed the indigent;


45. "But we used to talk vanities with vain talkers;


46. "And we used to deny the Day of Judgment,


47. "Until there came to us (the Hour) that is certain."


48. Then will no intercession of (any) intercessors profit them.


49. Then what is the matter with them that they turn away from admonition?-


50. As if they were affrighted ######,


51. Fleeing from a lion!


52. Forsooth, each one of them wants to be given scrolls (of revelation) spread out!


53. By no means! But they fear not the Hereafter,


54. Nay, this surely is an admonition:


55. Let any who will, keep it in remembrance!


56. But none will keep it in remembrance except as Allah wills: He is the Lord of Righteousness, and the Lord of Forgiveness.

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Well, first of all I'd to say that nothing that you have said can be taken as an offense. You have raised entirely legitimate concerns.


Questioning things is recommended. In fact, it is what Islam a great scholarly religion. However, you have to realise that questioning things can be unhealthy. Not every sort of questionin is good. I'm not accusing you of bad sort of questioning, but you must realise that not all sort of questions are valid.


One of the biggest questions in my life I have to answer is, why do I believe this? Why do I believe in Islam? Why not another religion? Why religion at all? These sorts of questions are vital and will give you foundation upon which you build your faith. However, if unanswered, the foundation is at best shaky.


I can give you an answer why I chose Islam if you want to. Just ask.


Well, I don't think anybody really chooses a religion entirely out of fear. Well, at least I did not. But your answer regarding the hereafter, why should you be scared. You say you do a lot of good things and consider yourself a moral person, but the question is not whether you consider yourself good, the question is whether God considers you good. God is the Judge, the King. Every sin is an enormity, no matter how small it is. You are not really going about this the right way. The Prophets(pbut) used to ask forgiveness hundreds of times a day, no matter how small, because they realised their position in relation to God.


By the way, watching TV or listening to the radio is not necessarily a sin. It depends on the content.


As for prayer, it is an obligation set by God. Some people might think of it as a routine, something where you just go through the motions, but in reality it is deeper than that. During prayer, you stand before the Master of the Universe in private communication. And if you feel more shame and anxiety giving a public speech than when you stand before Him, there is definately something wrong. When you realise that, prayer actually starts guarding you from sins. It isn't just about bowing and prostrating. You should feel awe and fear of the Lord out of respect for Him during prayer.


As for wearing a headscarf, well, obviously wearing a headscarf does not necessarily exclude you from sins. It isn't some magic sort of garment that you put on and suddenly you stop sinning. The headscarf does not necessarily make you a good Muslim. But to tell you the truth, I can't really give you detailed answers since you are not giving a lot of context. Give examples of what aspects of Islam you need answered and what examples you have of people behaving in a hypocritical manner. You ask, do they think they can get away with it? I don't know, but most likely they don't. They most likely repent, or don't try not to think about it.


Which country did you visit? Can you give some examples of the legal system and general attitude towards women to set some context?


By the way, I think there's no need to go to an Islamic retreat. I think it would not be wise at this point - at all.

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Dear A. S.,


First thing you need to do is take a deep breath and relax. Do that now. Ok, know that you're just confused and speaking the truth, and that is good. There is no offence to us or any other wise muslim in what you said.


Some of the guys here has given you some good advice. I have one that I know from personal experience and studying is the heart of your problem and it might solve your dilema:


When a friend calls you up in the middle of the night and you find that he felt bored and wanted to chat and asks whether you can come over for some midnight snacks and chatting, what do you do? Either straightforward you would tell them politely that you need to sleep and it's an inappropriate request, or you would tell them rudely to shut up and go to sleep and ask what were they thinking! If your 6 year old daughter however cries in the middle of the night, you WILL get up out of concern to calm her down from her scary dream or maybe she has a tummy ache. If it was a dream, even though you are tired, you will probably sit beside her to soothe her back to sleep. You would most probably do that reluctantly, while still thinking of sleep and wondering whether your daughter is at the age she starts to be more resilient. Now imagine that the wake up call however came from the hospital telling you your son, husband, or parent who was on a trip has arrived in the ICU, and when you ask about what happened, the nurse hesitates and then says it's best you get there right away, how would you think your physical and mental response will be?! Absolutely jump in the nearest car or mode of transportation possibly in your pyjamas and have a blood pressure of 200 all the way there. There is no hesitation, reluctance, question, or "not feeling".


It is all in the belief system. The BELIEF system is a deep psychological structure in your character and mind that shapes your priorities in life. Things that are truly important are NOT that way to you unless you BELIEVE that they are. Just like a kid going to school lazily while the father with a bad job due to bad education fights with him everyday. The child has "heard" a million times about how important education is, but it's not built into his belief system yet, so his response is reluctant obedience in lazily going to school and the hardest mornings ever. The father who has felt and seen and BELIEVES how education was important as he saw his childhood friend succeed and go on to a good career while he is stuck in a menial bad dead-end job that was the best he could get, is jumping up and down inside his mind at how his child is not taking it seriously.


Your billion dollar question, and one that shapes your life and afterlife is this: "Do you TRULY BELIEVE that God exists? That this most magnificent entity has created all of existence and shaped us humans with love and compassion and ordained this existence for us?" When that belief touches your heart, everything will fall into place. And I promise you God does reach out to people over time in many different ways.


I have myself been a "lazy" muslim in my youth. Friday prayer was the maximum for me per week. A cosmopolitan lifestyle with all its bells and whistles was the norm. Everytime I talk to mum and she starts asking me when was I going to fix my ways my only answer was "yeah yeah sure" and rolling my eyes. I was once on a trip in Egypt and while sitting in the tourism bus stuck in traffic, the call of prayer sounded. I heard it a million times before and it always stayed in the background, but this time, that fateful Asr prayer call just shuddered through me for some reason. I got the urge, similar to the urge of responding to a crying baby, to get the heck up and pray THIS one. I actually started reasoning with myself, telling myself what was I thinking?! I was in a moving bus, more importantly I was travelling and therefore I have an actual excuse for not praying on time rather the million times before where I didn't pray at all without an excuse. It didn't matter, the urge was too strong, stronger than smoking (which I was doing at the time) a cigarette with a cup of tea after a big meal if smokers or ex-smokers here know what I mean. I finally "gave in" and went to the bus bathroom, bent around in the tiny space to do a full ablution, and then came back to my seat to do a seated prayer in my seat. I finished it and found that I wanted to make up Dohr and Fajr. I did in my seat too. When I arrived at my room I redid all the prayers and I could not stop shivering until I went to sleep. Haven't missed one prayer since, haven't spoke of God once without getting a real live reenaction of that shivering of that fateful night and it brings me to tears. It's like a veil was removed and I can "see" him around. I notice his work and start shuddering at how can this splendid universe and Earth be suggested to have been "spontaneous" or just happened.


For my mother she was more like you in her youth, praying out of duty only rarely and questioning things right and left, not wearing a headscarf. Gratitude was not there because feeling and believing that everything is from God was still not there. She told me she had a dream though that the city was burning and people running around shouting and screaming that it's judgement day, she saw people burning and not dying, and in the middle of destruction and fire men walking up and snatching people by their arms, and when one came to her she saw herself screaming that she was a muslim and the man pursed his lips and shook his head right to left, and said "not according to what you were doing, you'll need to be judged" and he yanked her hard, and that's when she woke up.


Maybe you'll be lucky to have your own dream, or your own urge, I don't know. My Islamic mentor who is a well learned sheikh scholar says I am lucky and blessed and not everyone gets this, but many do and I shouldn't speak of it to people who know me personally as this is something between me and God and should not be used to boast. I guess on the net it should be ok, you don't know me. However many good inspired muslim friends tell me quietly of a dream or an experience that just brought them to tears, and made them "sense" the presence of God in strong perception and therefore their behaviour shifted dramatically.


ALL of your questions will perish and you'll see all the answers. Read the Quran right now actually and you'll see many answers to your current questions. You'll read that God asks us to wonder and not take things blindly, so don't follow things blindly. However it also explains that many things we might not see the "wisdom" in them and need to give it time. Just as pork was only recently analyzed to be found harmful to humans (no, not just the worm eggs) and that its fat does not change from swine fat to simple fat. You'll come to understand how prayer is crucial and how everytime you finish prayer it's like you just been rejuvenated. You will also understand how certain things are ordained specifically because they are hard, like fasting, as it teaches us to learn to appreciate God's bounty and how others who suffer hunger require compassion and have a right in alms and charity. Most importantly you'll understand why obeying and worshipping the One and Only is at the center of our purpose. You'll also understand the standing of women and learn that those backwards society that beat and degrade women from their rights are applying their own version of "selective" Islam.


Think about it, if your job requires you to meet your manager twice a day for a briefing and debriefing, you would just do it because you earn the money from your job and it's crucial. If you inherit millions and more money than the company itself is worth, the job will be completely worthless and that boss will not get anything from you except maybe a resignation letter.


God is there, until you see that, your soul will be restless for a while. Just wait, and trust in god. I believe you will find your own guidance very soon.



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i used to be a fence sitter like you aswell, till i was 25 or so. Till it got to a point where i was arguing with anyone and everyone about the deen in an extremely un-educated and dimeaning self philosifising manner. And then I realised I was too scared and respecting of god to leave Islam ( since Islam is the only real religeon a god fearing person can turn to) but way too un educated and ignorant to protect my self from sheytan and the love of this dunya (worldy life). So i made my self choose a side, and you know what i chose? La ilaha illallah Muhammad-ur-Rasulullah. After i did what Allah commanded believers to do, and entered into Islam whole heartedly. allahu akbar i started learning and things that i couldnt find answers to i brushed under a rug till Allah felt i was ready for it. Why? Because I chose freely and I chose with the intention of sticking to it! NO MATER WHAT! whether we understand things or not it doesnt matter. the truth will always stay the truth. Besides how can you deny Islam when our prophets (pbuh) prophecies are a happening in front of our eyes! Do legitimate research and learn your religeon from reliable 'SUNNI' sources and choose a side sis before its too late!

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I can certainly relate to the original poster here, because while I was never a deep follower of Islam, I was raised as a Catholic, and surrounded by people who considered themselves Catholic. I don't think it was until about my early 20's that I realized how trapped and paralyzed by fear I was. I realized that...I was simply staying in the religion not because I truly believed the things it preached, but rather I was too afraid to leave. Too afraid of the "hell" that it spoke of and the condemning of those who didn't believe.


Of course now I realize that that was simply a fear tactic in place to keep me within the religion, a tactic used to keep me from "straying." Now that I'm no longer Catholic, I feel much more "free" in essence, and I'm able to love and converse with everybody I meet, from Muslims to atheists, without any fear of repercussions or having to stick to one side. I just keep an open mind about everything, and allow others to leave in peace just as I've done myself.

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it makes me really feel relieved to see that there are more People who feel the way I feel.It is just sometimes you feel scared to say the truth.For me I have big problems wearing Head Scarf and many Fellow Muslims have told me that how nice it feels but I donnot feel this nice feeling.I really feel bad bcoz I want to have that feeling.I donnot pray bcoz Im lazy,I listen to Music...I havent done any big sin either but still...

I just have one thing.I love and respect Allah.But then comes the question why cant I be good for him.When I discuss or ask anything from my Family they simply say that Im a Hypocrite and I should recite Shahada.

Actually this was the reason for joining this Forum.I hoped quitly that I would find some Fellow-Confusos and might read about their remedies.I had to find the truth myself.I am reading and hope that this will help me and Poor AS I can understand you.Its just soo bad,feeling that way.

I personally feel like swearing at my own self but still cannot change anything.Why?Why?This why s gonna drive me crazy....

I was also by a Muslim friend that Im not allowed to have Non-Muslim friends...why?I mean they are really nice and respect my religion so what is so wrong having them as friends.I told her that but she insisted that it was not allowed at all.I dont have that much knowledge so I dont know.

Sometimes I have to act as if Im really understanding everything and accept everything bcoz my Familiy is highly respected and "islamic".It sometimes leads even to Shizophrenic behaviour...Im going mad guys.:sl:

Still there are so many things which I see around me which upset me.Im the only female student in my Family...the others are married when they reach Puberty.My Mother told me that in Islam it should be that way.Nowadays Puberty is reached at an earlier age bcoz of improved living...now if a girl is 11 is she ready for Marriage?Isnt this the 21 Century...Education is for everyone.Not only for Men.

Then another thing...Choose whom to marry.Isnt it allowed in Islam?In our Society no girl really believe me no Girl has the guts to say NO to her Parents.God knwos what might happen if she does.Is this right so?I know I love my Parents more than anything else...this is not the Problem.But I have to spend my Life with my husband not my Parents.

Then I often think...there are people who have a truly hard lives.Nothing beautiful,only torture and Pain.If they are not Muslims they will be punished in the Hereafter as well.Where is the justice then?

I hate talking with my Family about Islam...its just so dissappointing.Soo unlogical most of the times...

Men-oriented Society is the only thing I see.And another thing.I can never ever imagine living under Sharia...I know its the way but is it not hard?Too harsh?

I have buried many questions in my mind...I have developed a feeling of not asking bcoz everyone starts blazing.Then everything gets deeper and deeper stuck into my mind.May Allah help me and hope someone can help AS.

the above reasons and many more lead me to the Prayer that May Allah let me die as a Muslim.

Sorry this Topic was AS I did not want to mourn about my own Problems.

I hope that I did not say anything too bad and hope that Allah will forgive me.

Sorry if my English is sometimes a little broken or so Im actually not english-speaking.:sl: Hope someone understood what I wrote...:S


Friede und Freude,


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Think of iman (faith) just like you would of the human body. If a person goes hungry, what is the natural reaction? To eat. If they don't eat, the body becomes weak. In the same sense, our iman is only as strong as the spiritual nourishment we give our souls. Iman weakens without the remembrance of Allah and worship of Him.


If a person is feeling intense moments of confusion and doubt or they simply lack the motivation to do their obligations to Allah, chances are that they haven't been doing Dhikr and Ibadah as much as would be needed. I'm not just saying this, I know what it feels like. I'm sure any Muslim would agree that their iman feels the strongest when they spend a lot of their time focusing on their Deen.

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