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crusade for truth

Getting To Know Someone Of The Other Gender

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salaam

 

i am a man of the book who has strong feelings for a muslim woman

 

we have never dated nor have we ever spoken much outside of the course of our workday regarding work matters

 

she is very intelligent and has a sweet personality from what i see of her in the office and from snippets of conversations that i have overheard it seems as though we have common interests in the areas of music and literature as well as certain hobbies such as photography

 

how may i as a non muslim man approach her with the intention of getting to know her better as a friend without causing an affront to her customs and morals

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PropellerAds

I don't know what advice I could give you that you would like to hear...Muslim women can't date or marry non-Muslim men, I'm afraid. In fact, Muslim women or Muslim men can't date (they can court with a guardian present) because Islam doesn't allow the creation of physical or emotional intimacy without the boundaries of marriage.

 

The only thing I could encourage you to do is to learn more about Islam, perhaps your heart might soften in regards to it and you will be in a position someday to be able to consider marriage to her as a Muslim. I pray that this works out for the best.

 

Salam.

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I don't know what advice I could give you that you would like to hear...Muslim women can't date or marry non-Muslim men, I'm afraid. In fact, Muslim women or Muslim men can't date (they can court with a guardian present) because Islam doesn't allow the creation of physical or emotional intimacy without the boundaries of marriage.

 

The only thing I could encourage you to do is to learn more about Islam, perhaps your heart might soften in regards to it and you will be in a position someday to be able to consider marriage to her as a Muslim. I pray that this works out for the best.

 

Salam.

 

marriage

 

whoa lets slow down a little shall we

 

i dont wish to marry or have any interest beyond simply social and platonic with this lady

 

i am merely looking to get to know her better as a coworker a friend and a fellow photographer

 

are you telling me then that i cant be friends with her simply because i am not muslim

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marriage

 

whoa lets slow down a little shall we

 

i dont wish to marry or have any interest beyond simply social and platonic with this lady

 

i am merely looking to get to know her better as a coworker a friend and a fellow photographer

 

are you telling me then that i cant be friends with her simply because i am not muslim

 

You spoke of "strong feelings" and it sounded as though you were serious about her. If not, then consider it a misunderstanding. There is nothing to "slow down" here.

 

I can't tell you whether or not you can be friends with her, that's up to her. It would be easier if you were female and you wished to spend time discussing things with her, but you are not. You are a non-Mahram (unrelated) man. Ultimately, however, the decision is hers to make, so what use is my opinion.

 

Salam.

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i understand your reply but the question lingers

 

how can or should i go about approaching her as a friend with the intention of getting to know her better with the least likelihood of offending her

 

you are a muslim woman yourself

 

we are in a country where men and women can be casual friends without that friendship advancing to inappropriate levels

 

how i wish that she had a brother or male cousin who could join us for coffee and discussion

 

this would certainly remove the element of impropriety as she would then have the safety of a chaperon who is related to her

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I'll look for scholarly information on the subject. Perhaps another member might know something that I do not.

 

Salam.

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You don't. When two are alone, Satan is the third.

 

Your choice of words betray your feelings. Stay away from her.

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A male cousin is not a Mahram for any girl. Islamically you can marry your cousins.

 

Salam

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The first thing you want to be asking yourself is whether or not a platonic relationship is something that actually exists. It's a question that has been revolving in the western world for a long time now. Can a man truly be "just friends" with a woman or does it go deeper than that?

 

Answer that question and decide. And be honest with yourself.

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