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'is It Haram To Stay With My Husband?'

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I'm forwarding this question to you from a confused woman who got married to her husband after converting to Islam, and has been with him for 30 years.

 

Here's what you need to know:

 

*He is very abusive, and is psychologically destroying her. He does not consult her when doing anything. He does not let her argue with him. He rarely lets her go out of the house, or meet other people. He makes her do all his work, with little compensation.

*He refuse to give her medical treatment, because the only doctors available are male.

*He is creating a subconscious hatred of religion in her heart the way he treats her, and the hadiths he uses against her to keep her within his grasp. He scares her to death with them.

*He has twisted and manipulated her understanding of Islam, instead of properly educating her. One example is how he supports all terrorist attacks, and calls any scholar who disagrees with him 'Kafir'. She barely knows anything of her religion except what he tells her, and has given her this dark impression of what Islam is.

*He refuses to let her go see her family, and her dying mother, because they're Christians.

 

These are just a few things to give you an idea of how the relationship is.

 

Now the answer seems obvious to me, that it's her obligation to leave him before he destroys her religion and her soul, but I would like to hear it from you.

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:sl:

 

There is definitely something wrong with that man. He could be a terrorist. I suggest she reports him to the authorities, and they will take care of him. He should be locked behind bars and never allowed to communicate with humans.

 

That man was the only window through which the sister knew about Islam, and he used Islam to enslave her, although she is partly to blame, because there are many resources around us to learn Islam correctly. What puzzles me is why she stayed with him all those years? does she have children from him? I guess if yes, they would be grown up now, enough to depend on themselves, or even support their mom in leaving that monster guy who calls himself Muslim.

 

But sister, regarding your topic title, is it haram to stay with him? why do you think its haram to stay with her own husband? of course it is not haram to stay with him. Its really weird to ask such question!!

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Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

 

Marriage is meant to be a source of compassion and mercy between husband and wife, in which they raise children and help one another to achieve success in this life and the Hereafter. In which country does this woman live? If she can, she should try getting this man's family members involved in speaking to him or another trustworthy Muslim. This man may also suffer from a mental illness. However, if that does not work, then there is no blame on her if she gets a divorce through the courts. She should take into account where she would then live, if she would get work, what will happen to the childrens' upbringing, etc. She may get help from the local Muslim community if she is financially unable to take care of herself after a divorce. Check the following website for helpful advice on marriages of this sort: (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_islamqa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/en"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_islamqa(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/en[/url]

 

 

 

And Allah (The Glorified and Exalted) Knows Best.

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We consulted a sheik here for a fatwa against a husband who was running from the law and had abused a woman in Saudia and the sheik said, it is haram for anyone to turn another Muslim into the authorities. I feel the same thing. If you honestly feel you want a divorce then seek a divorce but do no harm. It is also haram in Islam to talk badly about your husband. I feel it is better to just simply saying you are in an abusive relationship.

 

As we are in the month of blessings here and we should be very careful abut recommending to anyone she leave her husband, I can only say that you should pray and ask Allah. If you have a problem, ask Allah.

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