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Need Help, Girl Problem?, Attention To Sisters

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This question is specifcally for the sisters (and brothers if they can be helpful)

 

This girl I know who I used to be friends with, has completely turned on me. We have known eachother for 2 years. We used to work together in the Muslim student association, participate in study groups, play sports, and hang out together as a group of people every now and then. We always used to help each other, give advice, had lunch a few times, and chat once in a while on the internet. However, its not like we saw eachother or talked to one another on a daily basis. I have even heard from other people that she used to have a crush on me (maybe she still does)? Then again, it could be a rumorOur families actually live in the same neighborhood and are friends with one another.

 

One day I bumped into this girl and her mother back in July at the grocery store. I walked up to them and said hello. When the girl saw me, she said hello to me very unenthusiastically, dropped her shoulders, rolled her eyes, and walked right out of the grocery store. I texted her to see if she was okay, but no response. I became afraid and did not contact her again until 2 months later (September).

 

In September, I saw her twice. I bumbed into her family at a store again. I said hello to her and she saw me and gave me a quick hello and jumped into her car. 2 weeks later on Eid, I saw her on Eid with her family. I said hello to them as they said hello right back. When the girl saw me, she rolled her eyes, turned half way around, and said hello in a very stern voice.

 

I sent her an email back in September telling her what I was up to and to seek if she was doing okay. She did not respond. I texted her 2 times after that within a 2 week span, but still no response. I even texted her saying Eid Mubarak back in September. From that point on I laid off again, but November came around and I texted her Eid Mubarak again, but still no reponse. I did that because her brother texted me saying Eid Mubarak, so I texted both of them right back.

 

I talked to my other friends about this of her. They said that she would contact them, and text them saying hello or Eid Mubarak. These friends are also her friends. However she might be having personal issues because these friends have said that her tone and attitude have become nasty, unexpectedly. She even quit her Facebook. Nonetheless she acknowledged them at times to say hello or whats up, except me.

 

I just don’t understand why anyone would do that. If I did something to her, my guess is that she would have let me know. It has been six months since all this has happened, and I have laid off for the most part because I figure she may need her space and time for things to clear up.

 

Based on all this, the not responding to me and the nasty hellos, I know for a fact she is avoiding me, but why would she do that? What should I do from here on out? Should I contact her again? Should I tell what she did to me in an email and see if everything is alright? Or simply should I just lay off more or perhaps just not bother anymore? I am afraid because I don’t want to get in trouble by Allah if I have done something to her, and if I did anything to her, I want to apologize and be better.

 

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

 

DISCLAIMER: I know it is wrong to mingle with the opposite sex, but I learn this the hardway. I know some people might put this out here, but I would still appreciate some constructive feedback.

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PropellerAds

I think this girl generally isnt interested. Theres a reason why she isnt replying back or making the effort, and you might never know why.Maybe she doesnt want to be friends. If i was you i'd let it be instead of bombarding her with texts and emails. I wont say wait for her to text because its not likely to happen with what you have said. But my advice just let it be :sl:

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Yeah the poster above me is right. Lay off texts and emails, it won't help you. She obviously doesn't want you to contact her so just give her space. You'd be surprised how often people come around once you leave them alone and let them come back on their own. It could be a number of things. Just let her be.

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I think this girl generally isnt interested. Theres a reason why she isnt replying back or making the effort, and you might never know why.Maybe she doesnt want to be friends. If i was you i'd let it be instead of bombarding her with texts and emails. I wont say wait for her to text because its not likely to happen with what you have said. But my advice just let it be :sl:

 

When you say interested, are you saying to be in a relationship? That is not my intention. My concern is that I dont want to be hated.

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Interested as in, not interested in knowing you or talking to you anymore. Girls are weird there could be a totally random reason why she isnt talking to u. Just dont get too tied up about it.

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Hm this is a tough one. In a way, there might be chances that she likes you. Or there could be many reasons. But in my thought, I think she is. Like my sister, and my friend, they sometimes did that to the guy they like because of good intentions maybe. Like "I like him but I don't want to". They don't want to make any sins maybe. Like they don't know how to act in front of the guy that they like except to avoid and they'll get shy easily. If you are sure that you did nothing wrong to her then I'm pretty sure she avoids you because she likes you. I don't know thats my point of view of course. I'm sure other sisters here will help you. :sl: Just let her be and give her some space for a while. Last of all, pray and trust in Allah's Guidance.

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Hm this is a tough one. In a way, there might be chances that she likes you. Or there could be many reasons. But in my thought, I think she is. Like my sister, and my friend, they sometimes did that to the guy they like because of good intentions maybe. Like "I like him but I don't want to". They don't want to make any sins maybe. Like they don't know how to act in front of the guy that they like except to avoid and they'll get shy easily. If you are sure that you did nothing wrong to her then I'm pretty sure she avoids you because she likes you. I don't know thats my point of view of course. I'm sure other sisters here will help you. :sl: Just let her be and give her some space for a while. Last of all, pray and trust in Allah's Guidance.

 

Who knws if she likes me? If she liked me, why would she be rude to me and avoid me for the last six months? This is all too strange. I have thought about and I dont think I did anything to her, so what could it be?

 

Do girls just stop talking to the opposite sex for random reasons? Follow up on this...

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Who knws if she likes me? If she liked me, why would she be rude to me and avoid me for the last six months? This is all too strange. I have thought about and I dont think I did anything to her, so what could it be?

 

Do girls just stop talking to the opposite sex for random reasons? Follow up on this...

 

Yes well I don't know the exact answer but only Allah knows. Trust me, girls are really weird sometimes. Like reeeally weird, that includes me too. :sl:

 

As others said, let her be. Don't think much as it is far better to think of Allah every second. Hey people are different sometimes and sometimes when you can't do it you just have to let them go and think of other good things and be grateful to Allah. Who knows, maybe this is one of the test from Allah to test your patience. :sl: Let her be and think of other things that concerns you. Example; other people who need your help? :no:

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Hello Brother,

You sound like a very nice and caring guy... I am very sorry you are having trouble with this girl.

It sounds like she's Annoyed.. I dont know if it's just you.. or maybe shes having alot of issues in her life right now... but i say You send her a text saying You are very sorry...You will no longer be contacting her because you are not sure if its okay or not... but that you will always be there and if and when shes ready to talk to you.. for her to call/text you. Goodbye.

 

You will someday find your soulmate, It's never easy though :sl:

I wish you the best of luck Brother

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Hello Brother,

You sound like a very nice and caring guy... I am very sorry you are having trouble with this girl.

It sounds like she's Annoyed.. I dont know if it's just you.. or maybe shes having alot of issues in her life right now... but i say You send her a text saying You are very sorry...You will no longer be contacting her because you are not sure if its okay or not... but that you will always be there and if and when shes ready to talk to you.. for her to call/text you. Goodbye.

 

You will someday find your soulmate, It's never easy though :sl:

I wish you the best of luck Brother

 

This sounds like a pretty good approach, but I think I will give it more time. We will see...

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Totally agree with the replies above. If you are worried that you've offended her, then send a final e-mail/text just apologising for anything that you may have done to offend her and ask for forgiveness. Then leave her be. If she still doesn't want to speak to you, then she won't. I can think of a million reasons why a sister would want to avoid a guy e.g. if she liked him, but didn't want anything inappropriate to occur unintentionally or if she wanted to distance herself from the opposite sex.

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Brother you will never be able to figure out women nor would you ever be able to probe into the minds and hearts of people. That being said strange behaviour is just that strange. Leave the sister alone stop trying to contact her or ask her what is wrong or trying to find out what is wrong. I can understand if you guys are married and she turnned the cold shoulder on you then i would want to know as her husband whats going on. But you are not married your not even close to being married so why give yourself a headache over somebody that doesent feel like treating you nice?? If she wants to be a ..(umm let me tone it down lol) you know what, then let her. Leave her alone and take care of you if she is being evil and she is a good person then she would come around.

 

Now if you know that you did something to her then you deserve the treatment your getting

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This question is specifcally for the sisters (and brothers if they can be helpful)

 

This girl I know who I used to be friends with, has completely turned on me. We have known eachother for 2 years. We used to work together in the Muslim student association, participate in study groups, play sports, and hang out together as a group of people every now and then. We always used to help each other, give advice, had lunch a few times, and chat once in a while on the internet. However, its not like we saw eachother or talked to one another on a daily basis. I have even heard from other people that she used to have a crush on me (maybe she still does)? Then again, it could be a rumorOur families actually live in the same neighborhood and are friends with one another.

 

One day I bumped into this girl and her mother back in July at the grocery store. I walked up to them and said hello. When the girl saw me, she said hello to me very unenthusiastically, dropped her shoulders, rolled her eyes, and walked right out of the grocery store. I texted her to see if she was okay, but no response. I became afraid and did not contact her again until 2 months later (September).

 

In September, I saw her twice. I bumbed into her family at a store again. I said hello to her and she saw me and gave me a quick hello and jumped into her car. 2 weeks later on Eid, I saw her on Eid with her family. I said hello to them as they said hello right back. When the girl saw me, she rolled her eyes, turned half way around, and said hello in a very stern voice.

 

I sent her an email back in September telling her what I was up to and to seek if she was doing okay. She did not respond. I texted her 2 times after that within a 2 week span, but still no response. I even texted her saying Eid Mubarak back in September. From that point on I laid off again, but November came around and I texted her Eid Mubarak again, but still no reponse. I did that because her brother texted me saying Eid Mubarak, so I texted both of them right back.

 

I talked to my other friends about this of her. They said that she would contact them, and text them saying hello or Eid Mubarak. These friends are also her friends. However she might be having personal issues because these friends have said that her tone and attitude have become nasty, unexpectedly. She even quit her Facebook. Nonetheless she acknowledged them at times to say hello or whats up, except me.

 

I just don’t understand why anyone would do that. If I did something to her, my guess is that she would have let me know. It has been six months since all this has happened, and I have laid off for the most part because I figure she may need her space and time for things to clear up.

 

Based on all this, the not responding to me and the nasty hellos, I know for a fact she is avoiding me, but why would she do that? What should I do from here on out? Should I contact her again? Should I tell what she did to me in an email and see if everything is alright? Or simply should I just lay off more or perhaps just not bother anymore? I am afraid because I don’t want to get in trouble by Allah if I have done something to her, and if I did anything to her, I want to apologize and be better.

 

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

 

DISCLAIMER: I know it is wrong to mingle with the opposite sex, but I learn this the hardway. I know some people might put this out here, but I would still appreciate some constructive feedback.

 

hey, assalam alaikum

 

maybe she got engaged?

 

or maybe she doesn't want rumors spread about her anymore (that she likes you)

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Salam Brother :sl:

Alhamdullillah, theres so much people replying and helping you out. Insya-Allah, some of our words might be the right guidance from Allah.

 

For my opinion, you shouldn't think badly about her. Perhaps you did something that she didn't like, or she heard something bad from her friends about you. OR EVEN WORSE, she heard that you happen to like her and thats WHY shes avoiding you. Either way~

 

Be polite, say sorry for whatever you did that make her...keeping her distance away from you. After that, if shes still ignoring you, then... know that "YOU'VE TRIED" and.. look at her as usual. *P/s; NOT look look :| Shes still your friend, don't judge her cause you don't know what really happened to her.

 

And and, it's better to say sorry AND tell her that you are very sincere in making friends with her, not to create fitnah or whatsoever. Allah will help you out, don't feel uneasy, stay calm. Insya-Allah :sl:

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DISCLAIMER: I know it is wrong to mingle with the opposite sex, but I learn this the hardway. I know some people might put this out here, but I would still appreciate some constructive feedback.

 

Why would you be doing something you know is forbidden?

 

Move on and quit your sinning.Trust me, it is for the better. You shouldn't ponder over how you should have done things differently. It is Allah's will. Focus on the right path, and move on. End it with her telling her that you want to become a better Muslim.

 

Allahu A'Alam

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OH! when I think again, the reason also could be that.. SOMEBODY spread the rumours right? because you guys used to hang out together and all SO PEOPLE THINK...... that stuff. lets say it's not true. The girl heard. Ofcourse, a normal natural girl response is..

 

NO!! AWHAT!???

hmm.. maybe this is the start of a girl looking at a guy differently. Instead of just telling the truth, we'd (I MEAN I) prefer giving guys cold shoulder and a murderous stare that basically says, I DO NOT LIKE YOU and you need to know that.

 

MAAAAAAAAAAAYBE. Cause I'd do that if I was her, avoiding you so that no more fitnah upon me. hmm, MAYBE. JUST maybe. I think I need everybody's opninion on this one.

 

TO ALL THE SISTERS; what would you do, if you are said to like this man you ALWAYS talk with, BUT YOU DON'T! but the people still say you like him. And this man keep coming into your life, as in.. trying to get in touch BIG TIME. What would you (sisters) do?

 

Insya-Allah. I hope this helped :S

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Brother

If the girl doesn't answer your texts just leave it.

 

I could speculate over a hundred reasons as to why she doesn't respond, but just maybe she has decided to stop mingling with the opposite gender, which I suspect is the correct form of behaviour for her, so support her and don't text/E-mail her again.

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