Jump to content
Islamic Forum

I Converted To Islam But My Wife Is Steadfast ?

Recommended Posts

I converted to Islam but my wife is steadfast on raising children as Christians


salam walekum brothers and sisters.


I am a new convert to Islam. I was a Christian before.


my wife who is a strong christian and i have been married for 5 years now. we have a 3 years old daughter.


I love my wife but not in love, we dont have intimacy in our marriage. We care for each other.


Also my wife does not allow me to teach my daughter about Islam or even use the word Allah, she gets mad when i do that.


I want to have more kids and she says she will raise them christian also.


Most people say have patience and she will convert, she wont because she is rooted in her faith and will not budge.


I want to get a divorce but when i think of my family i don't know what to do.


I want to marry a good muslim wife and move on in life.


What should i do is there any fatwa for situations like this. I am being eaten on the inside every day thinking about this.


I hope some one can guide me.


Can divorce be a option in situations like this.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

WaSalaam brother; It's a tough situation you are in. The most important thing for a Muslim is his deen; I think your wife wants to split; otherwise she wouldn't give you a hard time for using the word Allah or about talking about Islam or choosing Islam as your faith. My personal opinion would be that you get a divorce and this way you can move on and she can as well and you will still have some kind of relationship with your daughter. Kids can be crammed with all kinds of ideologies, but when they grow up; they will ask questions and then you can explain them your decision of choosing Islam. May Allah(swt) ease your stress and guide you to the best decision; Ameen

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sallam brother, heartbreaking to hear about your situation. Allah knows best what you should do. Certainly, pray to Him. My advice would be that you sit down with your wife and explain that she has to accept that you are a Muslim and that she cannot object to your using words like "Allah" any more than you can object to her religion. It is not fair for her to insist that the child be brought up a Christian, that the child be given an understanding of both religions and make her own choice. If she cannot live with this, then I think that divorce is the last option but a possibly necessary one. I think that in such divorce cases the child has joint custody and you will get to see your daughter and have her visit you at the least. Then you could tell her why Islam makes sense and insh'Allah she will at least understand your viewpoint.


About being a new Muslim, I know that Muslims never do enough to help and teach the religion:


(you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetyoutube(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/watch?v=nQlhU47kLgo"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetyoutube(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/watch?v=nQlhU47kLgo[/url]


If there is anything I can do to help answer questions or anything else, please feel free to email me at m.hussain[at]grandestrategy(contact admin if its a beneficial link)


Be careful about who you marry, just seen a lot of bad experiences for brothers (and sisters). Even if she is born Muslim, make sure she is compatible and her culture, if not similar to yours, is compatible.


But it's spurious for me to give advice, given that I have practically given up on trying to get married.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes i will talk to her about it .


Iam thinking of getting a joint custody as you said.


she loves me a lot, what i dont understand is if she loves me a lot she also has to accept my religion and also accept me teaching my dauter about Islam.


under circumstances like mine divorce is a option as there is no point of me staying in this marriage.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam :sl:

I may be young, but one of my good friends was raised in a household of both religions: Christianity & Islam. Her mother was Christian, father was Muslim -- but her mother wasn't so religious. She grew up where Christmas & Eid was celebrated, where praying was a must and God was God AND Allah. As she got older, she grew accustomed to Islam more and already believed she was a Muslim. Her mother didn't stop her nor her sister from this.


I'm 17, one year away from adulthood where my parents' can't make decisions for me any longer.

Perhaps, when your daughter comes to see you & visit you -- she'll be Daddy's Girl and want to do everything daddy does: praying, fasting, going to the Masjid, etc. As she gets older, insha'Allah, she'll realize this is the way she wants to live her life.


I hope your situation is handled in the best way possible not only for you, but for your family & your daughter.

May Allah guide you through your struggles & make this burden easy on you.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Salamu-alaikum brother! i felt inside me what u going through.But don't give it up.Allah guides those who call upon him.

I have only two advise i coould give. (1) make istikhara and hold on to Allah (swt) guidiens and the last one (2) devoice her. The reason why i said devoice her is that she don't like ur religion and she know about ur religion since the day u converted and she might know a little bit about Islam.Allah (swt) will ask u aobut ur children when u die and ur family so ur children tht ur wife is leading them astray u need to stand strong and guide them with Allah guidienc.But when they get maturity u have no responsibility onto them on what religon they should follow,but convers the word of Allah to them.Some woman will drive men to hell fire and dont let ur wife does that to u. That what shaytan do. but just think of what i said and make ur joice. The poison of the hear is Pride and the sickness that lead to poison is ignorance,arrogance,selfishnes and ect.

Allah will not change the condition of the people until the people hve change what is in themself.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bismillah hir Rahmaan nir Raheem


My suggestion is that you get hold of a Ahmed Deedat debate dvd - that you can watch with your wife.... Alhamdullilah - he was the best person I know of in being able to strategically breaking down even the most steadfast Christians - all in a calm, easy manner.... You can also watch some of his clips on youtube - search for Ahmed Deedat... Watch some and judge for yourself what you think...

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now