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Me Her And Satan

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The Muslim community we have today has many failings and no doubt addressing these is part of the solution. One of these problems facing the youth, are that these days even those brothers and sisters from decent Islamic families, yes those brought up in a Islamic nature and attend Jummah Prayer on a Friday and fulfill there Islamic duties yet find themselves falling into Haram situations, that’s right the old pre-martial relationship that youth seem to indulge in these days. Those parents who understand teaching is only one part of parenting the second is protecting them from Haram, so they try to limit there son or daughter's socializing ensuring they are home at by a certain time, knowing who there child socializes with and so on. For these parents who try and keep their children on the flawless path of Islam, why is that they when these youths come to pre-marital relationships they end up taking that wrong turn still?


Firstly living in the Western world isn't much help in raising children but that should be no excuse. In the west having pre-marital relationships is the norm, and the way the movies, television and music romanticise it all, no wonder the youth are so caught up in it, and with the explosion of social networking its never been easier. It is not sinful to be in love don't get me wrong, it's a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual that we as human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. However, if that love prompts you to try to see that person in secret and to give expression to your feelings in actions permissible only within the bond of marriage then what you are doing is forbidden (Haraam). This type of forbidden activity includes Internet relationships:


“Oh the Shock, the Horror !! I'll just pause whilst you get your head around that hmmmmm………………… ..


Whilst I pause here for those who are in shock after just finding out the above ^, for the rest of you here is a fatwa from Shaykh Ibn Jibreen:


“It is not permissible for anyone to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah involved in that. The correspondent may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep on at him until he makes him fall in love with her and her with him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ordered the one who hears of the Dajjaal to flee far away from him, and he said that a man may come to him as a believer but the Dajjaal will keep on at him until he leads him astray.


Correspondence of young men with young women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, and it must be avoided, even if the questioner says that there is no love or desire involved†(Islam QA )



Shall I continue now?â€



It seems half of the kids out there think Internet dating is Halal because it’s not technically “real lifeâ€. Well they say ‘ignorance is a bliss’ but this is definitely not the case here, because with relationships that begin on the Internet, the relationships begins to develop and there is an emotional attachment. It becomes so great that from online chatting turns into constant texting and those four hours or more telephone conversation where neither one of you wants to hang up and those three words ‘I love you’ are repeated every minute, then houston we have a problem !


But as a teenager a virtual relationship isn’t enough so they take it one step further and start a more physical relationship (no not that kind !), but they start meeting up whether it’d be cinema, shopping centre, park or some might just meet up at community events. But remember Brother’s and Sister 3 is a company, why do I say 3 is a company when it’s just the two of you because:


The Prophet, peace and blessings be upom him, is reported to have stated that “whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them.†(At-Tirmidhi)â€


So when the shaitan is present he is ever looking to present and suggest new ways in doing haraam and soon you can find yourself committing Zina (fornication, adultery). Perhaps at this stage they’ll realize that what they are doing is prohibited, but because the relationship has gone on for quite a while they are in two minds and find it hard to let go. The shaitan will wear you down and make you believe that though you may of gone over a bit off track at least I'm not out there selling drugs, stealing committing murder and are still much better than those out of control youths. And besides pre-marital relationship can’t be haraam if I’m going to marry the person I love anyway, right? Well……………………………


“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al-Fahsha’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knowerâ€


[al-Noor 24:21]


Zina (adultery, fornication) does not refer only to penetration, rather there is the zina of the hand, which is touching that which is forbidden, and the zina of the eyes, which is looking at that which is forbidden, even though zina that is committed with the private parts, is the zina which is punishable with the hadd punishment.


It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.â€




Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.


It is not permissible for the Muslim to long for the things that lead to zina, such as kissing, being alone, touching and looking, for all these things are haraam and lead to the greater evil which is zina.


Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)â€


[al-Isra’ 17:32]


Looking at that which is forbidden is one of the arrows of the Shaytaan, which leads a person to doom, even if he did not do it intentionally at first. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.


And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)â€


[al-Noor 24:30-31]


The person who has committed any of these actions has to repent to Allaah, for whoever repents Allaah will accept his repentance, and the one who repents is like one who did not sin.


Sometimes the youth find themselves in this situation because the person they are involved with is usually the person who they intend to marry, and they originally started speaking to him/her as it was all just to "get to know them". Of course, within the limits of Hijab, it is possible to get to know a person in a permissible way, but as we all know that's not the case for the majority of kids in this situation, and while being involved for "marriage purposes" is the usual excuse, the fact of the matter is that it's actually about having the satisfaction of being in a relationship, regardless of how remote the chances are of actually marrying the other person.


A closer analysis of this sad reality will depict that on one hand, we have the kids who legitimately feel the need for a partner, someone who can provide them with emotional support, solve their problems, and give them something to look forward to each day. On the other hand, we have youth who never felt the need for a partner but unexpectedly came across the opportunity to be a part of a relationship and were sucked in before they could think twice about it (Yeah Brother I know, its you saw a chick wearing Ugg Boots, Legging Pants and you thought damn thats a chick with swagga and i gotta link that rite ? Astaghfirullah). Whatever the justification, one thing is for sure – it is becoming harder for the Muslim community to keep a hold of its decent youth, and it all has to do with the fact that they are finding it harder to resist the temptations that Haram relationships have to offer........

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Brother Salman, nice to see you here! Contribute against ahlul bid'ah, smile.


May Allah reward you for the topic.

Edited by Orthodox

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hi.! i really got some real problems in this issue.I need some advise in this matter. how can i know who tag this article and

who will be able to help me?? plz. jazzakallah!

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Assalamu Alaykum


Well, do you want to dicuss it privetly with brother Salman?


Or do you want to discuss it here or on his forum?

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Asslmau alikum ..


Jazakum Allahu Khair for the topic ..


May Allah swt reward you brother ..



Peace ..

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JAZAK Allah khairan...each one of us should try to spread this article as much as we can, as the problem of harm intermixing of men and women has spread like a disease.

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