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Into The Depths Of Darkness.

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Salam all.


I am 20 years and just last year I began have serious doubts about Islam, being born a muslim, it never occured to me that there could be other truths.



I decided to research other religions and found.....Spiritual Satanism...


Being "spiritual" was always something i was deeply interested in but since i was not praying 5 times a day..the spiritual aspect of "spiritual" Satanism made me go "wow".


At the time I was quite angry at God...(cannot remember why) and decided to research into Spiritual Satanism some being..


Being convinced of the blasphemies and false truths in showed me I decided to "dedicate" my soul to Satan.


Within the first month of being a Satanist I felt an overwhelming sense of power and i was full of self praise.


I practiced Demonic rituals, contacted demons and blasphemed ALL PROPHETS AND GOD.


2 months down the track...things changed...the voices I heard in my head would not go away...The power of these Godless Spirits changed in me, no longer do I feel "power" but I felt a overwhelming sense of COMPLETE AND UTTER HOPELESSNESS. (+a whole lot of other punishments from God, my life was falling apart)


Afraid of God, I swallowed my pride and fell to my knees and begged God to forgive me.

Although I now pray 5 times a day, and repent after everything, I feel his presence in my life, even if im lonely and scared, i know that having faith in Allah most gracious most merciful is the only way. Not only did reading the Quran give me more faith but when the demon in my head told me "Do NOT worship God because he is not your God" it proved to me that God is there and God exists for sure.



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:sl: Brother,


Being in Melbourne I advise you to join this Jamat (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetwordvision(contact admin if its a beneficial link).au/index.php?option=com_content&view=frontpage&Itemid=1"]WordVision[/url].


They discuss many Truths of Belief pertaining to Qur'an and Islam, I've had my Iman strengthened tenfold my listening to the audio discussions, and reading the literature associated with their discussions namely The Risale i-Nur. A commentary on the Qur'an that so vividly portrays the Qur'ans necessary relation to man, even in this day and age.


I pray you benefit from them as much as I have,


Salam Aleikum.

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Bro UT i believe that the Key to repentance is regret , and clearly you are brave enough to talk about your shortcomings and want to feel in touch with Allah SWT again.


Allah SWT will give you whats in your intention :sl: , just stick to the basics and never loose your Islamic identity and stay away from people who may influence you on going back to old ways and :no: you will be ok Ameen .

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Yes you were brave enough to talk about this and im happy you asked Allah for his forgiveness even in our worst times, a ray of hope always penetrates the utter darkness, once you see that ray of hope and happiness, your life can change and become closer to Allah SWT

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All praise to be for Allah.


Its good to confess as it lightens your burden of thoughts.

May Allah guide us all to the straight path and help us in the future. Amen.

I also have strange questions in my head, will ask for someone to assist me.

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