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A Muslim Girls Worst Nightmare

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asalmlaikum warahmat-ullah wabaraktahu all

 

I realise now that i was a muslim by name when i was in a 2year haram relationship. In all honesty i embarked on it for pure marriage purposes as id been through a forced marriage in the past and the pressure was on tto marry again because the body clock is also ticking. Unfortunately when i realised the man who i only ever loved turned out to be a complete control freak bully and blasphemous to Allah i was already in hot water. Iv tried breaking off rrelationship but he has now blackmailed me saying he will put all our private chhats online and my photos too. Im devastsed he is forcing me to marry him and bring him over to the uk.

 

My honour and respect are at stake and my family is religious. I am repenting and to be honest i knew he would affect my deen and akhira which is why i wanted to leave him.

 

What can i do? Im making lots of dua but im losing hope as ive lost 2stone in weight and my body is physically shutting down

 

Jazakaal

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Wa'alaykim a'salam!

 

Oh wow, sister. I am very sorry that you are going through all of this. I hope this test brings you closer to Allah and that, even in the midst of these troubles, that He will fill your heart with peace so that you may patiently persevere.

 

I am going to keep this brief: your account is only between you and Allah, and no one else. Remember that the shame of this world is nothing compared to the shame of the Hereafter. This man sounds like a nightmare and it's time for you to wake up. If you have repented to your Lord and have learned from the mistakes you have made, that is all that matters; not what your family may think or what your friends may think or even this man. If you want to preserve your honor you need to preserve it before Allah, because He is the only One that matters.

 

You need to end this relationship. You do not want to be married to someone who treats you like this, blackmails you, and makes a mockery of your religion. What would Allah think of you then? It will be a huge mistake if you give in to his demands. Just look at the hardship he is causing you now...and he's not even living in the same country! I pray you will not do it.

 

Repent and walk away. If he does try anything with your pictures and chat logs, so be it, but at least you are trying to get right with God again.

 

Remember: it's just you and Allah.

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If he is STUPID as to put up chat logs and pic then let him go ahead. Whats the worst that can happen?? Im thinking if you even had nude phots ...so what. People do stupid things when they are in love, now you have learned your lesson. I would suggest all contact be ceased and if he goes through with his threat just tell him that some other decent brother will see the pic and chat logs and want to marry you even more. Because muslims are very forgiving and the next brother wont judge you by your silly mistakes. So let him do his worst he can plan to destroy your reputation all he wants BUT Allah IS THE BEST OF PLANNERS!!!!

 

 

tell him to go to hell, this is ramadan and shaton is supposed to be locked up, cut off ALL CONTACT FROM THIS PERSON........ALL CONTACT!!!!! keep in contact and you will keep on feeling this way. cut him off completly and whatever he wants to do let him do it, but his behind wont be comming to the UK through you, and if he finds another woman then he himself would have destroyed his own reputation. Because you can easily put up his pic and information warning other sisters to beware of this creep

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brother your words are encouraging but the dark hours in my life overshadowing the broad day light make me shudder and fear so much. I have got to the stage I am nno longer bothered about myself but my dear old mother who has been through hell in her life but has always praisd Allah. She is a leading fgure in the community and this kind of defamation will nd her life as she is alrady a heart patient

 

he is such a bully he almost bullied me into doin things he wanted and his way.. my friends realised I had changed, became secluded and distant and all because I did not know how to get out of his clutchs.

 

I do have his pictures and God forbid I have no intention of using them or to stoop to his level but I realise i cannot be quiet or show fear anymore. I have pictures of his sisters and if I photoshopped them he would not like that now would he? i will threaten him back with thse. I have no choice because if he carried out his threat, he has as much to lose as me because not only will his pics be out there but my family wont take it lying down. He underestimates what will come to him which is why he is farless but the way I feel right now is he needs a goood battering too

 

but i fall so weak and low, to a point my body shakes and I have huge episodes of fear run over me - i cry so much to Allah saying Allah I now have found you and my inner eye has opnd surely you cannot abandon me now and leave me to be shredded to pieces by this devil of an animal??

 

oh please make dua for me... oh Allah save me!

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I don't think that photoshopping images of his sisters is the correct way to go with this matter, especially since it is he, and not his sisters, that is wronging you. Have you considered reporting his efforts to blackmail you to the authorities? I don't know if they can do anything, but it might be an option that they could contact someone in the country of this man to have him cease these threats. Also, it might be wise to tell your mother yourself. Although she will be hurt by this, it will be better than having a stranger do so in a more graphic and distorted fashion.

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no sister two wrongs dont make a right! I said take his picture and show others and tell others what he is trying to do only if he decides to try to humiliate you. If your mother believes in Allah then she will continue to believe and if she is a positive example in the community then be assured that she will not be humiliated. You just need to leve him alon no need to threaten him or photo shot any pic. You just be a good person not an evil person, if he wants to be evil let him be evil, leave him alone sister and that is the best advice that i can give you. If anything tell your mother what your going through trust me its not a huge deal.

 

Everybody makes mistakes.....EVERYBODY!!!! So you made a major mistake however its what you do that matters from now on. Leave him aloneand let him simmer in his own pot of stew, DONOT GET IN THE POT WITH HIM!!!!

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thankyou all for your replies may Allah reward you

 

I do not want to stoop to his level and would never post his sisters pics online - i meant if i emailed them to him then he'd get a taste of his own medicine by treating someone else's sister' daughter like this...

 

I am God fearing and have learnt a lesson but pray its nott too late.. He has really hurt me as he is the only man i have let into my life.. Stupidty knows no bounds despite havun a phd.

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Hi i'm so sorry to hear about this. But you defo need to leave him. Don't marry him otherwise you will have this to deal with for life. If he is threatening you with pics is there an elder you can tell about this. Like a mututal aunt or uncle or even parents. They can talk to him and if he still does then let him. How bad can it be eh? Atleast thats the worst he can do to u then u'll be free. But i don't actually think he'll do that? and how do u even know he has ur chats and pictures saved he cud be bluffing. good luck whatever happens

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Assalam Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

 

DEar sister in Islam

 

After going through your whole post I am just thinking what could be a possible solution to this whole scenario.

 

Firstly, As everyother member has stated do not marry that person until he does not repenet and indeed Allah SWT loves those who repent.

Secondly, ofcourse you cannot negate a crime by another crime. What he is doing is a crime.

I suggest that you firstly disconnect from such a person just vanish from his life. I had undergone a worse scenario from someone I never even knew nor know till today. Some dirty story was framed and all the names were replaced by mine and emailed to my whole faculty and friends without me ven knowing. My dean had me called up and they knew my personality a little to well so they wanted to find the culprit which they did in a few days but I still do not know who the person was, only know the persons name. Imagine such a horrible thing with a person whom no man has seen since age 13.

I was totally broken with that story but I will tell you one thing no matter what he does its yourself that matters. just close all your accounts, which he has so you are not disturbed, no need to blackmail him back with his sisters pics etc etc. Photoshopping etc is no solution it will be a two way game then. Had he little respect for his own sisters he would not have treated another persons sister in this way.

Suicide is in no way a solution, if you repent to Allah SWT i am sure he will forgive you, so do not anger Allah SWT by engaging yourself in such thoughts even.

 

I request you to just leave him repent honestly to Allah SWT as any contact with him is haraam even for solving this blackmailing case.

 

Just surrender your case to Allah SWT if he does anything as he has threatened, then also remember just one thing

Allah SWT says it in the Quran that Allah SWT gives respect to whom he wishes and defames him who He SWT wishes.

 

Whatever happens after this take it as a way of being cleansed in this world itself. coming over to your mother you need not worry about your mother, she is old and wise enough to handle the issue. you fear her health but remember no calamity can befall anyone unless Allah SWT wishes. so worry not and surrender your case to Allah SWT and I beg you for Allah SWT's sake break all ties with him without any warning or without any notices.

 

Instill your trust in Allah SWT. It will change your life. InshaALLAH

 

MAy Allah SWT ease all the matters upon you and keep you safe from all trouble..

May Allah SWT guide us all alike

Allahumma aameen

Jazak Allah khairan

 

Assalam Alaikum

Umm e Sarwat

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