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Maryam13

Having Trouble As A New Convert!

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Hi guys,

 

I'm new to this forum and new to Islam as a whole. I said my shahada on Christmas Even 2010 lol. So since saying my shahada which I believe in my heart and soul I have been studying and learning about the details of the religion and I'm feeling a little bit discouraged. I live in Canada (considered the West) and I am a woman and a lot of rules and regulations and what is considered haram is taking a toll on me guys. Everything seems so strict and I'm scared that I can't/won't be good enough. I understand dressing modestly and I even respect that and the reason behind it and I can wrap my head/hair (I don't have a problem with that). I can dress modestly and cover my chest and make sure my pants are loose and buttocks covered but I'm having a hard time with the thought of wearing the veil or the complete hijab covering my neck or wearing like a long loose fitting dress just to cover all curves. The rules at this point almost seem oppressive even though I fully understand why women should be dressed modestly. Not wearing perfume, not plucking eyebrows or wearing makeup, NOT WEARING HEELS because haram women used to wear them and we should differentiate but guys it's too much I feel and it's making me feel discouraged a little bit. I feel like everything is sin. I'm even willing to give up my wigs and weaves (I'm african american and these things are HUGE in our culture) but a lot of the other rules just feel too restricting. I understand that we are too precious to be displayed but it isn't fair that if a man is attracted to us we are an adulteress. You could follow all these rules and still attract men because you have a pretty face, then what? Trust me when I say I understood the dressing because we are precious so I will cover up everything modestly but I feel like you are not even allowed to be fashionable. Couldn't wear those nice fashion waist belts because they show the curves and that is forbidden. I know I can choose to not follow this aspect but then I will feel like a failure as a muslim and there are so many hadiths saying if you don't do this, if you don't do that then you will inherit the fire. I remember reading those that wear the heels or pluck the eyebrows like the prostitutes will be beside them on judgement day. Is Allah that unfair that even if I did my prayers 5 times a day, paid my alms, did my trip to hajj and did my fast during ramadan that I would inherit the fire because I plucked my eyebrows and wore heels? This is the biggest challenge of new converts and to be honest at times I have felt like, "what's the point?" Or I've felt like I'm going to inherit the fire no matter how much I pray, fast and pay zakat. What if I just wear a headscarf but don't cover my neck? It's seeming really hard guys. No perfume?? How come men can't try harder to to resist? It always falls on the women to "be better". I probably sound like a big baby but it's just not fair.

 

What else? I've read different opinions on this but I am a singer and some say Islam forbids singing or music with musical interests. Music in itself is culture and brings to people together, how it can it be haram? I know music which promotes sex and violence are haram and I get that but music as a whole? God gave me an amazing talent, are you telling me I was given this talent to ignore it? It doesn't make sense to me. Music has been a part of my life since I was a child. It means the world to me. I just don't understand that and feel so sad because I love music and singing. Singing touches people's hearts. I've touched people's hearts by singing. My mom had a long 5 hr drive in a crazy snowstorm and she told me what got her through it was imagining me sitting beside her singing. It got her through, how is this haram? And if I don't give it up I'm going to an inmate of the hellfire? Do guys see what I'm saying? I feel so discouraged which is so different from how I felt when I read the Qu'ran. I love the Qu'ran with all my heart. But the details are so hard for me.

 

The things I can do without complaining are no alcohol, no weed, no fornication or masturbation, obscene language (all of which I used to partake in)...I understand and can refrain from doing those things but some of the other things are so hard. I read that Islam forbids women from living alone or travelling without a mahram. Both of my parents live out of the province I reside in and so yes I lived on my own for 4 years, is this haram? Am I going to hell. The requirement to not go anywhere without a mahram is a sweet gesture but is unrealistic in my life. Am I sinning then?

 

My sister is a lesbian. I don't NOT hang out with people who are gay, I see the heart. Am I not supposed to talk to her or hang around her? I may not believe in her lifestyle but she is my sister. This is all so hard but the hardest part is I feel like if I don't follow these rules I will go to hell which is saddens me to no end. I became a part of this religion because I wanted to know my God and I wanted him to know that HE is the only one I want to return. Does anyone else feel the same? Convert or long practicing Muslim? I want to go back to the place where I loved this religion. A place where I believed Allah was merficul, just and forgiving. I can't help but feel these days that he's kind of mean. Allah forgive me for even saying that. But there are so many little things that you can be thrown in Hell for, I'm feeling like what's the point then? Ughh :*(

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Asalaamualaykum my sister,

I pray you are well. Allah(SWT) is Just and see our intentions, so InshAllah always keep your intentions pure and do what you can. Your iman will fluctuate at times. Plucked eyebrows and high heels are a small sacrifice in my opinion, low heels are more comfortable anyway! You can wear nice headscarfs inshAllah :sl: I feel you can sing in the comfort and privacy of your own home, or for those in your family/mahram, isn't that what you would want anyway? I don't think it is haram for you to live alone. I think it's fine to talk to your sister, as long as you don't encourage the lifestyle, infact I would suggest to discourage it. Allah(SWT) is kind and merciful and loves you, don't forget that!!! All of His rules are for our own good. Trust me sister not obeying Him will result in nothing but bad. Feel free to PM me anytime. Stay strong.

Walaykum asalaam warahmatullah wabarkatahu

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Assalamo alaikum

 

Dear sister,

Congratulations on your revertion to Islam.

I have a feeling there is something wrong in the way you approached Islam.

You reverted 17 days ago, yet you have so much objections on a religion that is new to you.

A Muslim revert would normally focus on the spiritual aspects of Islam. All your objections revolve about material stuff.

My advice to you at this point, is to approach the spirit of Islam, and try to make a connection with Allah Al-Mighty and His messenger, prophet Muhammad, while setting aside the regulations for now.

You can wear no hijab and still be a Muslim. Millions of Muslim women don't wear the hijab yet, still wear perfumes, and listen to music etc.

All this should come in place later, only when you are personally convinced. Don't push it. Just focus on reading more about Islam. Read th Quran and listen to reciters. Pray and ask Allah for guidance.

Take it easy on yourself, and insha'Alah you will be fine.

Islam is the perfect answer for each and every aspect of our life. You're stepping in a complete new way of life. Take things one step at a time.

And regarding your sister, its Ok to be in touch with her of course. Just make sure you let her know that you don't agree on her sexual life, and wish her that one day she will be guided like you.

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I'm new to this forum and new to Islam as a whole. I said my shahada on Christmas Even 2010 lol. So since saying my shahada which I believe in my heart and soul I have been studying and learning about the details of the religion and I'm feeling a little bit discouraged. I live in Canada (considered the West) and I am a woman and a lot of rules and regulations and what is considered haram is taking a toll on me guys. Everything seems so strict and I'm scared that I can't/won't be good enough.

 

It's important to get our aqeedah (matters of faith) in order before we begin to practice Islam.

 

Imam Abu Hanifa said about aqeedah, "Understanding in the religion first (i.e. tauheed) and then understanding in the science (i.e. the shariah).

 

The beliefs must be corrected first, then follows all of the other aspects of the religion.

 

Therefore, my dear sister, do not be too concerned with the shariah (laws of Islam) at this time. Iman comes first and then the Qur'an. It is never the other way round.

 

Trying to follow all the rules and regulations at this time will only overwhelm you and Allah does not want to place any of His servants under any difficulty. Do as much as is easy for you. Seek knowledge and understanding and never mind the rules which you find so hard to follow. :sl:

 

“Whoever treads the path of Knowledge, Allah will make easy for him the path to Paradise." (Sahih Muslim)

Edited by Peace Is Power

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Asalaamualaykum my sister,

I pray you are well. Allah(SWT) is Just and see our intentions, so InshAllah always keep your intentions pure and do what you can. Your iman will fluctuate at times. Plucked eyebrows and high heels are a small sacrifice in my opinion, low heels are more comfortable anyway! You can wear nice headscarfs inshAllah :sl: I feel you can sing in the comfort and privacy of your own home, or for those in your family/mahram, isn't that what you would want anyway? I don't think it is haram for you to live alone. I think it's fine to talk to your sister, as long as you don't encourage the lifestyle, infact I would suggest to discourage it. Allah(SWT) is kind and merciful and loves you, don't forget that!!! All of His rules are for our own good. Trust me sister not obeying Him will result in nothing but bad. Feel free to PM me anytime. Stay strong.

Walaykum asalaam warahmatullah wabarkatahu

 

Hi Mulimah28, thank you for the nice words. I agree that they are a small sacrifice but I was just using that as an example. If I choose to continue plucking or continue wearing high heels, am I going to hell? The headscarves I have no problem with whatsoever but the full hijab covering my neck and everything but my face, i'm not a fan of that. What if I wanted to sing as my career? I wanted to take music in university to pursue it further or become a music teacher, is this wrong? I understand that not obeying Allah results in bad, trust me been there, done that. And I want to follow him and I know that since I'm new I should take my time but even though I'm new and I should take my time, knowing these things are "forbidden" when I'm doing them while in transition I'm going to feel bad about myself. What good does that do? It's taking away from my Imam. Did you ever feel like this or were you born into the religion?

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Assalamo alaikum

 

Dear sister,

Congratulations on your revertion to Islam.

I have a feeling there is something wrong in the way you approached Islam.

You reverted 17 days ago, yet you have so much objections on a religion that is new to you.

A Muslim revert would normally focus on the spiritual aspects of Islam. All your objections revolve about material stuff.

My advice to you at this point, is to approach the spirit of Islam, and try to make a connection with Allah Al-Mighty and His messenger, prophet Muhammad, while setting aside the regulations for now.

You can wear no hijab and still be a Muslim. Millions of Muslim women don't wear the hijab yet, still wear perfumes, and listen to music etc.

All this should come in place later, only when you are personally convinced. Don't push it. Just focus on reading more about Islam. Read th Quran and listen to reciters. Pray and ask Allah for guidance.

Take it easy on yourself, and insha'Alah you will be fine.

Islam is the perfect answer for each and every aspect of our life. You're stepping in a complete new way of life. Take things one step at a time.

And regarding your sister, its Ok to be in touch with her of course. Just make sure you let her know that you don't agree on her sexual life, and wish her that one day she will be guided like you.

 

Thank you for the congratulations. Maybe I did approach it wrong but what drove me was my love of the quran and what it taught. I was so moved by the words and felt that I had finally felt the truth. I had been searching and searching for God and to be close to him and I knew I found the answer when I read the Qu'ran in it's entirety. I guess I'm just worried because I don't want be one of those people who is half and half. Half in their religion and Half in the haram. But I'm having a hard time dealing with the stuff that's haram I guess is the point. Not the major stuff like drinking, fornicating and smoking but the smaller details. I don't know why I've focused so much on the little things. Thank you for your kind response. I guess Shaytaan always makes me feel like I'm sinning unless I abandon every single thing right away. With Shaytaan, there is no time to transition or else you're going to hell. You know what I mean? I let that get the best of me. I'm going to stop stressing, take a breather and focus on my learning my prayers for now. One step at a time. Thank you so much. I know Islam is the religion for me. I gotta remember why I fell in love with the religion in the first place.

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It's important to get our aqeedah (matters of faith) in order before we begin to practice Islam.

 

Imam Abu Hanifa said about aqeedah, "Understanding in the religion first (i.e. tauheed) and then understanding in the science (i.e. the shariah).

 

The beliefs must be corrected first, then follows all of the other aspects of the religion.

 

Therefore, my dear sister, do not be too concerned with the shariah (laws of Islam) at this time. Iman comes first and then the Qur'an. It is never the other way round.

 

Trying to follow all the rules and regulations at this time will only overwhelm you and Allah does not want to place any of His servants under any difficulty. Do as much as is easy for you. Seek knowledge and understanding and never mind the rules which you find so hard to follow. :sl:

 

“Whoever treads the path of Knowledge, Allah will make easy for him the path to Paradise." (Sahih Muslim)

 

Salam,

 

Those two quotes you gave me were beautiful and I thank you for them. They brought me solace. And you are right, I was feeling overwhelmed. "Allah does not want to place any of his servants under difficulty" I guess I forgot that. How amazing Allah is. Thank you soo much guys. My mind is clear again. I have to undue in my heart what Shaytaan put there and reach the peace I felt before. Thank you for your help! May peace be upon you all

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Salaam sister,

I don't think anyone can tell you whether or not you will go to hell for plucking or high heels...I'm afraid I definitely don't have that answer...I do know that plucking eyebrows is a no-no and Allah(SWT) forbids it, so why continue? I think the important things are to cover hair, neck, bosom, and shape of body, so InshAllah a long enough headscarf and loose clothing should do that. May I ask what you don't like about the full hijab? I personally think it's lovely...About teaching music, I am not sure...I think if you teach children or women only, that may be okay, but again, I'm not sure. I know that women singing in public is definitely not Islamic...if you give up something for the sake of Allah(SWT) He will replace it with something better...I have definitely felt the way you are sister, but I only know that I was/am happier when I am trying to do the right things...I was born a Muslim and my iman has definitely gone up and down throughout my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly fighting a battle against my self to be a better muslim, which I definitely don't think I am. It is definitely a struggle but I hope and pray every day for Allah(SWT)'s help and forgiveness, as Jannah is my ultimate goal inshAllah. I hope this was helpful.

Walaykum Asalaam

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Some good advice by the brother and sister above :sl: MashAllah...take it easy sister...i hope I didn't scare you or make things difficult in any way...that was not my intention at all:)

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also if ever in doubt, pray to Allah for guidance and listen to your heart...He will guide you inshAllah..and I'm sorry for rambling...my knowledge of Islam is not much, in fact I feel like a hypocrite and shouldn't even be giving advice on here...so forgive me

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Can someone plz remove my posts on here??? Like an admin- I tried but don't know how :sl: Thank you, I will be very grateful....

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Assalamo alaikum, being a reverted person, is it ok we can discuss the issues in an email communication. my email is connect.samad[at]gmail(contact admin if its a beneficial link)

Edited by Lamppost

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Can someone plz remove my posts on here??? Like an admin- I tried but don't know how :sl: Thank you, I will be very grateful....

 

Don't know how to remove your posts, is there a reason you want to delete them?

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Sister,

I feel like a hypocrite giving advice that I may not be following myself. I don't want to be a hypocrite and want this thread to be about addressing your concerns from ppl who know better than me. I hope thats not too confusing! Anyways I do wish you the best in everything!

Take care

Wsalaam

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Salam alaikum sister,

 

Glory be to Allah for guiding you and welcome with the best salutation that is Peace be upon you.

 

Sister I know it will be hard at the start and you will struggle with your life styles. Changing of life style won't happen in one night, but can happen if you put the sword of your rebellion right in front of you on the ground and submit your wills to Allah, a True Master, The only One to be Served and Obeyed.

 

If you strive for the sake of Allah, then surely your strive won't be in vain, as Allah said in the Quran.

 

[17.19] Whosoever, being a believer, desires the Everlasting Life and strives for it as he should those their striving will be thanked.

 

Remember you are not helping Allah or anyone else for striving against yourself, it is just for your own good.

 

[29.6] He who strives, strives for himself. Allah is the Rich, independent of the worlds.

 

 

As someone said above that never mind the rules which you find so hard, I am in fact against this. I would recommend you follow all the rules that you can, because by breaking the small rules will lead you one day to break a big rule as well.. Always repent if you break a rule, Allah is Forgiving and the most Merciful.

 

As said by someone that those who are close to Allah, the don't care how big or small the sin is, what matters to them is who they are offending and disobeying.

 

I would recommend you stick to the Quran and Sunnah in regards to any issues you have. Please don't consider that every ordinary Muslim knows everything about the religion Islam. You have to find the answer yourself and choose a path that is moderate and does not transgress any limits set by Allah. Please read the Quran and write down any major sins which you need to avoid, and also minor sins aswell.

 

 

Sister remember that Allah is the Most Merciful and The Most Forgiving.

 

Hadith Qudsi 34:

 

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say: Allah the Almighty said:

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.

 

It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.

Edited by Mercyonmankind

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As someone said above that never mind the rules which you find so hard, I am in fact against this.

 

I think I had better make this clear so that there may be no more misunderstanding regarding what I stated in my previous post.

 

It is critical to understand the religion first before following the rules. I never said that following rules was not important. I have merely been laying my emphasis upon understanding of religion before practicing it.

 

Muslims who practice Islam with understanding are NOT the same as Muslims who practice it without understanding. Those who understand and those who don't are not equal. Those who have understanding have a far greater status in the eyes of Allah than those who don't.

 

So what ought to be the first duty of a person who accepts Islam? Of course, it ought to be to acquire knowledge and understanding.

 

It is only with knowledge and understanding that your iman will grow. And it is only when your iman grows stronger that you will get closer to Allah. And it is only when you get closer to Allah that you will strive to be more obedient and follow all the rules, dedicating your life and service entirely to His cause.

 

As said by someone that those who are close to Allah, the don't care how big or small the sin is, what matters to them is who they are offending and disobeying.

 

Yes, brother Mercyonmankind. You are right in saying that those who are close to Allah don't care about how big or small their sin is. They only care about pleasing Allah. But the point is, you can't get to that level of closeness to Allah without striving to obtain understanding of your religion.

 

Once a Muslim has his understanding of religion in order, following the rules and laws of Islam becomes easy.

 

It is unreasonable to expect a new revert to Islam to reach that level of iman overnight. It is gonna take time.

 

And indeed Allah is the Most Patient. Alhamdulillahir Rabbil al Ameen!

Edited by Peace Is Power

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Assalaamu alaykum sister Maryam13.

 

I don't know if you have heard this story but I think it is relevant to your case.

 

A Man who killed 100 People

 

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri(Radi Allah Anhu) reported Allah's Messenger(sal-allahu- alleihi-wasallam ) as saying:

 

"There was a person before you who had killed ninety-nine persons and then made an inquiry about the learned persons of the world (who could show him the way to salvation). He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine persons and asked him whether there was any scope for his repentance to be accepted. He said: No. He killed him also and thus completed one hundred. He then asked about the learned persons of the earth and he was directed to a scholar, and he told him that he had killed one hundred persons and asked him whether there was any scope for his repentance to be accepted. He said: Yes; what stands between you and the repentance? You better go to such and such land; there are people devoted to prayer and worship and you also worship along with them and do not come to the land of yours since it was an evil land (for you). So he went away and he had hardly covered half the distance when death came to him and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of punishment. The angels of mercy said: This man has come as a penitent and remorseful to Allah and the angels of punishment said: He has done no good at all. Then there came another angel in the form of a human being in order to decide between them. He said: You measure the land to which he has drawn near. They measured it and found him nearer to the land where he intended to go (the land of piety), and so the angels of mercy took possession of it. Qatada said that Hasan told him that it was said to them that as death approached him, he crawled upon his chest (and managed) to slip in the land of mercy."

 

[sahih Muslim : Book 37, Book Name Kitab Al-Tauba Number 6662]

 

Point to be noted. It was not the following of rules that led to the salvation of this man who killed 100 people. Rather, it was his search for knowledge that saved him. So as long as you are on that path of knowledge, you're good.

 

And indeed Allah is the Most Merciful, the Most Forgiving. Alhamdulilahir Rabbil Al Ameen!

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Let me give you another example of a man who accepted Islam but did not observe a single prostration in the way of prayer. Yet, he was given the rank of a martyr. The name of the man was Al Usairim. He resisted Islam until the Day of Uhud. On that day, he accepted Islam and fought the polytheists until he was killed. Regarding him, Prophet Muhammad (saws) said, "He has done a little but his reward is great."

 

Find that story here: (you are not allowed to post links yet)"you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetwitness-pioneer(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/vil/Books/SM_tsn/ch3s3.html"]you can't post links until you reach 50 posts_you are not allowed to post links yetwitness-pioneer(contact admin if its a beneficial link)/vil/Books/SM_tsn/ch3s3.html[/url]

 

On the Day of Judgement, it is not what we did that will carry any weight. The weight will always be given to the reason why we did what we did. And only those deeds will find acceptance that were done PURELY for the sake of Allah.

 

It is not quantity of our deeds but the quality that will matter on the Day of Judgement.

 

So isn't it far better to do ONE single deed with understanding and to do it with sincerity than to do a thousand such deeds without understanding?

 

Wouldn't the quality of our deeds suffer if we were to do them without understanding?

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Can someone plz remove my posts on here??? Like an admin- I tried but don't know how :sl: Thank you, I will be very grateful....

 

Assalaamu alaykum sister muslimah28. I don't think there is any need to remove your posts. They show your quickness to repent. May Allah accept it. Ameen.

 

Maryam13, in case you are wondering what is there to repent about, there is a teaching we are supposed to follow that you may not know. And that teaching is, we are not to make things difficult for people. If we make things hard for others, then they might turn away and leave the religion altogether. So who would want to participate in such wrong-doing and invite Allah's wrath? Hope that makes sense.

 

And now, I had better keep quiet. I don't like to talk but I find I have no other choice in this current matter. Allah is will certainly question me on the Day of Judgement regarding what I know. It is only because of that thought that I have spoken.

 

And indeed Allah is The Just. Alhamdulilahir Rabbil Al Ameen!

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Hi All

 

As someone who has been feeling increasingly distant to my religion recently, i would like to know of the Quranic verses that have declared the issues discussed above? Does anyone have the verses that say you cannot pluck your eyebrows, make music etc etc?

 

I would most appreciate the answer

 

Thanks and peace

 

Ayda

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Salam and welcome to Islam.

 

Before i start answering, i would like to say that Alhamdulillah, i am a qualified Mufti and should you want, you can ask for my personal email address for future problems.

 

All of us in this world are like school children, who know very little about what is good and what is bad for them. In that age, most of the things we are made to do are things that we hate, going to school, not having too much sweet, not talking to bad friends (who seem cool then) and going to bed early are just a few examples, but our parents and teachers make us do these things for our better future.

 

exactly the same way, we are not allowed certain things in Islam for a better future (The Hereafter)

 

and just like we pondered one day "Why aren't i allowed a chocolate before going to bed if i'm allowed in the day?" and then we got the answers when we grew up, the same way Allah will show us the reasons of Why music is Haram, and why plucking eyebrows is Haram when we die.

 

Finally, Allah is not cruel, he is loving, if you have embraced Islam, you have made the biggest leap out of fire. Nobody can turn from sinner to saint overnight, and nobody expects you to do so.

As long as you are INTENDING to leave all the prohibited things in Islam from your heart, AND TRY TO LEAVE THEM, you're on the right path.

 

A sinner was going by a Muslim scholar to ask guidance on how to repent. He died on the way. The angels disagreed with one another about which way he will go (hell or heaven). Allah told them to measure the distance, and if he's closer to home, punish him and if he's closer to the Muslim scholar's city, then he is forgiven. He was actually slightly closer to home, but Allah made him closer to the scholars city because HE TRIED to come the right way. When the angles measured the distance, they took him to heaven.

 

 

Keep TRYING and don't object about Islams rules. You've already made the biggest leap and you're worried for nothing.

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Hi All

 

As someone who has been feeling increasingly distant to my religion recently, i would like to know of the Quranic verses that have declared the issues discussed above? Does anyone have the verses that say you cannot pluck your eyebrows, make music etc etc?

 

I would most appreciate the answer

 

Thanks and peace

 

Ayda

 

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

 

In al-Saheeh, it was reported that Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “Allaah has cursed the women who do tattoos and those who have this done, the women who pluck eyebrows and those who have this done, and the women who file their teeth and change the creation of Allaah.” Then he said: “Should I not curse those whom the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed, when it says in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… And whatsoever the Messenger gives you, take it, and whatever he forbids you, abstain (from it)…’ [al-Hashr 59:7]”

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If you don't mind my asking what were you before you converted?

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If you don't mind my asking what were you before you converted?

 

mostly, no one will reply you, the original thread was in the mid of Jan. whill some one re-ask in the mid of June,that's looong time,

 

while mostly, before converting to Islam, she was a non-moslem :sl:

 

if you care about new Moslems, i know a site of a big punch of them, that is made by "Yusuf Estes" it's name is "Islamtomorrow"

i'm not allowed yet to send links, so you can get it yourself

 

i think they will be more nearer to you and can easily contact you

 

have a nice day

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