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Not Marrying A Guy Because Of His Health?

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So over the past few months I've gotten to know a very nice guy. He's sweet, religious, decent, family oriented, and has great respect for everyone. He has treated me wonderfully, and has never initiated/said anything haraam in our 'relationship'. We did not touch each other whatsoever, and had only an emotional bond. We both admitted to liking each other, and obviously had the intention of getting married. So to keep things halal, he told me to talk to my mom about us. Well, thing is, this wonderful guy has a lot of health issues. He has type two diabetes, gets seizures, passes out often, recently quit smoking (so lung issues), hairloss, anemia, and what not. He doesn't really bother to take care of his health either. This is the main issue my mom has refused to agree to mine and his relationship. She wants me to stop talking to him because the longer we stay in touch, the more attached we'll get, and obviously if we don't have a future, there is no reason for us to be 'in touch'.

 

Anyways, I understand where my mom is coming from. She wants a stable future for me and my kids, and does not want me to end up becoming this guy's nurse. My dad has had a lot of health issues, so my mom knows first hand how it is to deal with a sick husband and she does not want me going through all that. Obviously, I will listen to my mom, but I feel EXTREMELY guilty because this guy does not deserve this. He cares a lot about me, and will be completely shattered to hear something like this. Also, I'm afraid Allah will be mad at me for rejecting someone over something they have no control over. Anyone can be inflicted with an illness. At the same time, however, I cannot upset Allah by disobeying my mom.

 

What do I do?

If you suggest ending contact with the guy, please tell me how and what I say to him.

Jazak'Allah.

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PropellerAds

i see it as... if he means a lot to you and he loves you back, you take the good with the bad...its hard to find someone decent these days and the way this guy has respected you and as you've said 'never initiated/said anything haraam in our 'relationship'' thats rare to find these days.

maybe im going to far...but if you love him then there is nothing to think about, he could give you so much whereas you might marry someone who doesnt treat you with any respect or your unhappy...

 

i can understand where your mum is coming from at the same time...and i guess you have to ask yourself if you marry this guy and his health gets worse can you and are you willing to care for him full time?

 

listent to you heart, ask Allah for guidence.

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if you really love this guy, then marry him. after that make du'a to Allah to cure him. Allah has power over all things.

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Asalama Aleikum, you really need to think about what you're getting yourself in. you're letting your emotions get the better of you. marriage is a serious thing, i urge you to consult your head rather than your heart. there is so much to think about, any married couple would tell you that marriage in itself is a challenge. its easy for people to say follow your heart, however, this is not something that will just effect you it will also have a profound effect on your future kids.

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salamu alykum sis,

 

Subhanalah Don't think of leaving this wonderful man. Its a test from Allah, your mom is not coming from a religious aspect. He has problems but pray and make dua to Allah. Like someone else said what if you find a healthy guy who isn't a good person? and even if he were to die and you were married to him. On the day of judgment you'd still be with him as his wife. This world can end any second. God forbid but what if you got in an accident the next day? he'd live longer than you right? all am saying is this, he loves you a lot and you love him, love should blind you (in a good way). Anyways its your choice all i know is that if my future wife were to leave me i'd be devastated especially over something Allah has put in me that i can't do anything about.

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