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As I understand it via my translation of the Qur'an and through some YouTube videos and even a response on this very forum striking a woman is allowed in Islam. I think perhaps there is a cultural or language problem here because surely this is not so. I know personally I would be horrified and beyond angry should some man someday place his hands on my daughter when she is older and married.

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1 – The Qur’aan enjoins good treatment of one's wife: she is to be honoured and treated kindly, even when one no longer feels love in one's heart towards her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19]

 

2 – The Qur’aan explains that women have rights over their husbands, just as their husbands have rights over them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228]

 

This verse indicates that the man has additional rights, commensurate with his role as protector and maintainer and his responsibility of spending (on his wife) etc.

 

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

 

4 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628.

 

Going to the ayah people talk about (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

 

If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys his commands, then he should follow this method of admonishing her first, if it continues forsaking her in bed and finally if the previous have failed in stopping her rebellion hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this means that it should not cause pain.

 

‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator]

The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her.

 

And Allaah knows best.

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a ) I do not mean to make light of this subject but if I just understood you correctly I find that funny as all get out... to strike a woman with a toothbrush... I mean the imagery is near hilarious. Again I don't mean to make light of that but come on you got to see how that is a bit humorous b) next what constitutes disobeying or violating the man's rights? isn't it safer just to not strike the woman and thus not bring down the wrath of Allah (swt )?

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again this should show that the purpose of this "beating" is not to hurt the woman rather its more an action to show her how far she has transgressed against her husband.

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I am sorry perhaps there is a language barrier here but I do not feel that b ) .... was not addressed

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alsalamo alykom brothers,

i just like to say we should put every thing in its right volume, all of the three kind of punishing are just in a real emergency situation (which is rare and shouldnot discussed out of this frame) in which the wife is "Nashis" which means acting opposit to the normal conduct.

 

1- We have to know that the Islamic family normal/domenant life (with good allowances) is a integrating, with Shourah, love, mercy add every good word and feeling ever found on this earth.

 

2- in the general rulr "Emergency situations require emergency procedures, to prevent the worst". which is divorce and family break down in our case. which by turn will lead to more bad consequences to the family members (we can compare between the Islamic world and any others in divorce rates).

 

3- Deterring, is one successful technique that may secure and prevent people from reaching the need of it (compare hitting the wives through authentic statistics between Moslems and others)

 

4- We can get The criteria of punishing the wife from the companions descriptions (as the brother describe) and from the general spirit of Islam and here are two hadeeths in the subject.

 

20042 - حدثنا عبد الله حدثني أبي ثنا يزيد أنا بهز بن حكيم عن أبيه عن جده قال قلت : يا نبي الله نساؤنا ما نأتي منها وما نذر قال حرثك ائت حرثك أنى شئت غير أن لا تضرب الوجه ولا تقبح ولا تهجر الا في البيت وأطعم إذا طعمت واكس إذا اكتسيت كيف وقد أفضى بعضكم إلى بعض الا بما حل عليها

تعليق شعيب الأرنؤوط : إسناده حسن

In musnad Imam Ahmad, 20042, the prophet pbuh explains some of the features of the punishments [don’t hit the face, don't say bad words (insults and similar), don't abondon except in the house (keep the problems with wife as an internal family issue) ]

 

what kind of hit, the man who is not suppose to insult by words could be like?!!

 

35 - ( 1659 ) وحدثنا أبو كريب محمد بن العلاء حدثنا أبو معاوية حدثنا الأعمش عن إبراهيم التيمي عن أبيه عن أبي مسعود الأنصاري قال : كنت أضرب غلاما لي فسمعت من خلفي صوتا ( اعلم أبا مسعود لله أقدر عليك منك عليه ) فالتفت فإذا هو رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم فقلت يا رسول الله هو حر لوجه الله فقال ( أما لو لم تفعل للفحتك النار أو لمستك النار )

 

In Albukhary, 1659, the companion "Abu-Masoud" tells while he was punishing a boy (slave, while Islam urged to change that name to be a boy), I heard a voice from behind me saying: you have to know Aba-Masoud, that Allah is more capable over you than your ability over him. I turned around to find that he was the prophet of Allah pbuh. I said O prophet of Allah: he is free for the sake of Allah. The prophet replied: if you didn't do so you would be touched by fire"

 

That what Islam teaches about hitting the slaves what do you think his teachings with the wife!!

 

147 - ( 1218 ) حدثنا أبو بكر بن أبي شيبة وإسحاق بن إبراهيم جميعا عن حاتم قال أبو بكر حدثنا حاتم بن إسماعيل المدني عن جعفر بن محمد عن أبيه قال:

 

: دخلنا على جابر بن عبدالله فسأل عن القوم .......ولكم عليهن أن لا يوطئن فرشكم أحدا تكرهونه فإن فعلن ذلك فاضربوهن ضربا غير مبرح ولهن عليكم رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف........"

in a long hadeeth in Imam Moslem Saheh .. the prophet pbuh describs the hit to be " ghayr-a mubareh"" which, mostly,means don't leave a sign..imagine what kind of hitting that leave no sign on the woman' skin

 

5- if the man transgress in hitting, the wifee have the full right to report the court to be morally substituted and the man will have the just punishment.

 

6-the wife is not forced to wait all of that (unless she is really have bad conduct), from the first step (admonishing), but before that even if she feels oppressed, but before that if she felt un-fair practices towards here but before that if she felt un-satisfaction or even without any reason, she can tell the husband and ask every thing she need, she can ask for outside judging (a judge among here family and another among his family), even if she didn’t like here own judge judgment, she can ask to end that relation without any reason.

 

7- now, we may need to see the wive's right in the others religions, in normal and emergency cases.

 

may Allah show us the truth and allow us to follow it....amen

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thanks!

 

that helped a lot, seriously.

 

So, in other words it is better to just not take the chance? that correct?

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Assalamualaikum

 

Greetings to All

 

a ) I do not mean to make light of this subject but if I just understood you correctly I find that funny as all get out... to strike a woman with a toothbrush... I mean the imagery is near hilarious. Again I don't mean to make light of that but come on you got to see how that is a bit humorous b) next what constitutes disobeying or violating the man's rights? isn't it safer just to not strike the woman and thus not bring down the wrath of Allah (swt )?

 

a) I would like to compare this analogy of the relationship between husband and wife, to that of a teacher and student.

In many cultures till today, the teacher holds a disciplinarian role and acts as a moral compass to the student, similar to that of a Muslim husband.

 

Imagine a good student, who understands the disciplinarian role of the teacher, has deep respect for them, and takes corrective action seriously. Occasionally like all human beings, we lapse in our judgment, perhaps the students becomes forgetful, or becomes influenced by his bad peers, and doesn't submit his assignment. The teacher decides to reprimand the student, but not excessively. The teacher, after repeated warnings against the student but to no avail, decides to lightly pull his ears lightly in class as a symbolic gesture of displeasure for the defiant behaviour (this act or other physical acts similar to this, does go on in schools of some countries). The act was done in class, in front of all the students but it happens briefly and in passing, where only some notice, and is shortly after, forgotten. But for this good student, this small gesture, leads him to think about his actions, for he is reminded of the respect he has for the teacher, and he is made to face his mistake and change himself for the better.

 

For a bad student, one who does not have respects teachers and constantly displays arrogant behaviour and flouts the rules, this gesture would probably have no effect on him. I would agree with you that it would seem 'ridiculous' or 'humorous' to implement a similar gesture on him. A more serious punishment has to be meted out in this case,

 

The Muslim husband acts similarly, as a moral compass to the wife. The beating of the toothbrush, is not to inflict pain, but as a gesture of displeasure against something immoral or something which displeases the husband. It only works when the Muslim wife has taqwa (fear and obediance to Allah), and accepts her husband as the moral guidance in her family. It would not work if the Muslim wife has no regard for her husband and does not fear Allah.

 

b) I recall a hadith where some married women in the Prophet's time, were talking to other men and flirting with them. This is an example of something immoral, where a Muslim husband can correct his wife morally and spiritually, by following the steps (1st not speaking to them, then not sharing their beds, and finally the gesture of beating them with the siwak).

 

It can also be a way to stop something which displeases the husband, as I mentioned.

 

And Allah knows best.

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This makes more sense to me. And it clears up the beating women thing. Now I move onto my other thread to see if I can get answers on that. As I said in one of the threads. As I am coming back to Islam, if I am having problems I will try three sources: here, chatislam.com and the local Imam. Between the three I am sure I will find the way and will not deter from Islam again as my only desire is to serve Allah (swt) as he wishes to be served

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Thankyou for providing this valuable information.I have gone through the thread and it has convinced me upto a certain limit.but i really feel that a relation between a husband and wife should be at equilibrium.If a wife disobeys her husband or do anything against her husband's will he can talk to her.she maybe tensed or there might be any problem.But beating her in any case is not a solution .

 

This is the verse of so called wife beating in Islam,

 

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct,
admonish them (first)
,
(next) refuse to share their beds
,
(and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)
; but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

 

 

You can see that hitting without violence comes as a last resort. This is for any serious case of PERSISTENT disobedience (such as behaving arrogantly for no valid reason, extramarital affairs, stealing money from husband) . There is ample time to correct herself or even complain that she was accused wrongly before the very part of 'beating' comes. More about these things were clarified in this thread

 

If it was ,then is there any rule as if a husband misbehaves or do anything against her wife's will ,then a wife should beat him or give him a gesture that she did'nt liked her husband's deed....???????

 

If the husband commits any anti-Islamic activity, then the wife can present evidence of this in an Islamic Court. The Qadi / Judge will carry out punishment. She should not go into punishing her husband or else there is a chance that she may get beaten violently by that bad husband.

 

Moreover, In Islam both Husband and Wife must care for each other.

 

Dawud :: Book 11 : Hadith 2137

Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri:

 

Mu'awiyah asked: Apostle of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.

 

 

Arabic/English book reference:
Book 1, Hadith 278
via Riyad as-Salihin.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and
the best of you are those who are the best to their wives".

 

وعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال ‏:‏ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏أكمل المؤمنين إيمانا أحسنهم خُلقا، وخياركم خياركم لنسائهم‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه الترمذي وقال ‏:‏ حديث حسن صحيح‏)‏‏)‏‏
.‏

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[at] Taiba Please also visit these threads

 

http://www.gawaher.c...th-your-spouse/

 

http://www.gawaher.c...-rape-in-Islam/

 

http://www.gawaher.c...males-in-Islam/

 

 

I also recommend your visiting this valuable site

 

http://www.islamswomen.com/

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