I Said The Shahada (Well Yesterday)

[Nightingale 136]

First off, I am horrible at doing this so please be understanding. If I went into the whole backstory

and reasons for my reversion, I'm sure it would take quite a while and could fill up at least a few

chapters of a book. Since I am a writer, don't test me because I can guarantee I could do it. But I'll try

to keep this to relevant points really.

 

Let me preface this with the fact that until I was 18, I had never been involved in any religion and

never had even attended church services or anything else. I knew that there was a God, yes just one,

but I didn't know anything else. My mother is a staunch Southern Baptist while my father is much

more an atheist or agnostic in his beliefs. When I finally did start going to church, it was to a

Southern Baptist church near my family's home just after my high school graduation. So I was

following in my mother's path basically.

 

At that time, since I was so new and was being told not to question what the pastor taught by

everyone, I just blindly went along with what I was told. At this time, my only thoughts about Islam

were generally thoughts about terrorists in the Middle East, because that's what everyone said. I had

never actually met a Muslim before. And then September 11th happened. I am somewhat ashamed to

admit that at that time I let myself be led by the prevailing sentiment about Islam and was very

judgemental about it.

 

Again that changed a few months later when I started working at a Starbucks nearby. During my

training, one of my trainers was a Muslim girl, wearing hijab and just always pleasant to people. Even

those who were grossly disgusting to her. I guess in a way I filed that information away in my brain

and it started to replace what I had felt about Islam.

 

I'm going to fast forward from there to just a few months ago. Despite my growing concerns about

my beliefs, I was a ministry team leader in my former church, specifically for the Audio/Video

ministry. Being a ministry team leader, I got to see the darker side of things in church: the politics, the

backstabbing and the hatred prevalent throughout the church itself. Because of my outspokenness

about hypocrites within the church, that darker side turned against me and started pushing for my

removal from the church in addition to stripping me of my position for reasons about my

questioning them, my own personal issues and the fact I was friends with "undesirables" aka non-

Christians.

 

Meanwhile, I had become friends with a German girl, Sara, online a little over a year ago. She had

told me she was Muslim but I didn't think much of it because she was just simply a friend. Earlier this

year, my Sunday school class at church did a segment on comparative religions, and Islam was the

last segment discussed. This was from Christian scholar Paul Carden, and while the segment was

playing, I kept thinking about the things he was saying...even though he was approaching it from a

standpoint of how to convert Muslims to Christianity. Needless to say, it doesn't seem to have

worked in my case. ;)

 

Around the time that the church was getting their case against me together, I started spending more

and more time talking to Sara and learning about Islam. Then I got pointed to these forums where I

was able to learn as well. The highlights of my day were actually reading the Qur'an aloud with her

and soaking in the things it said. She was also there as a support whenever I would tend to get upset

about what my former church was doing. In addition, I was starting to come out of my shell enough

to get involved here on these forums in some discussions, whether they were good or bad, I was

trying to insure I was fair in any appraisals I made.

 

While I talked with Sara, she had initially brought up the idea of fasting, as she told me about her

conversion five years previously. For whatever reason, I had agreed with her that I wanted to try

and fast during Ramadan, despite not being Muslim. From there, we discussed fasting before

Ramadan as well, something I also have discussed with a couple people here, and so a couple weeks

ago I fasted for the first time in my life. While it was hard, I felt great doing it and felt more sure in

my heart that I was on the right path. Also, her and I (despite being separated by thousands of miles)

have been fasting together most of this week.

 

I also reconnected with one of my former coworkers from Starbucks in the last couple weeks,

ironically at a political meeting for Ron Paul here. To say I was shocked to see her wearing hijab

would have been an understatement as she had always sought to convert Kelly (the Muslim girl I

mentioned earlier) to Christianity when we worked at Starbucks. She told me some of her story and I

felt sure that like Sara, Allah had placed her in my path to show me that I was finally moving in the

right direction. We've stayed in contact some too, and as I mentioned on another thread, she had

invited me to her masjid which is to happen this Friday. Needless to say, I was planning on going,

though I wasn't planning on going as someone who had already reverted.

 

That brings me to yesterday. In my talks with Sara, she had mentioned to me before that her sister-

in-law, who was herself a convert to Islam, would be honored if she could be there when I said my

Shahada which I planned to do with Sara since she had done so much to bring me to Islam in the

first place. I had agreed, and so I knew I would have to let them know ahead of time to actually set

that up. Then when her sister-in-law was over yesterday, despite everything else, I felt something

telling me to do it then. And so under their guidance, I said the Shahada and took a shower. I

remember being scared I was going to mess up because I was trembling while my heart was

pounding a thousand miles a minute it seemed and I had goosebumps all over my skin.

 

I couldn't stop smiling most of the night last night, even eliciting a comment from my mother who

asked why I was so happy. On another note, just to add something else of interest...my mother is

fasting for the first time in her life as well right now. While she doesn't condone Islam in any way as

of now, she is disgusted by how my former church treated me and is looking for a change, so only

Allah knows what will happen. But maybe in the future she'd decide to accept the truth. But for now,

I can't show that side of me to her yet very easily, but I know and Allah knows what I feel.

 

Thank you for letting me say this and I apologize if it is so long. :)

[Nile_Salafy 63]

Allahu Akbar .. and Al Hamdullilah .. great ending for a long journey I must say :)

[Saracen21stC 239]

Masha'Allah Sister.

 

What an inspiring story. I think I will never get tired of reading convert/revert stories!!!

 

Here is a good pdf : http://www.islambasics.com/index.php?act=download&BID=170

[ala'adin 184]

Alhumdullilah, thanks for sharing that. On behalf of all forum, if there is anyway we can help please ask and may Allah make your journey easy and make you person of paradise....

[Nightingale 136]

Thank you :) I've just got to try and keep learning everything I can. That's my fear to be honest that I will not do well enough. But as I read over and over, Allah is the oft forgiving. So there's hope for me. :)

[ala'adin 184]

There is Always hope! We all are in need of His mercy!

[AhmedTi 25]

Allahu Akbar, thanks to Allah who soften your heart towards Islam. We ask Allah to dearest Islam with your Islam. Meanwhile, please be patient as Allah will inevitably test your belief according to its level of faith.

 

Allah says in Surat [Al Ankaboot (29):2-3]

(Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.)

[AHMAD_73 86]

masha'a Allah, wa alhamdo llelah,

 

may Allah complete his favor up on you, support you on his path, and provide you with the real happiness and contentment in this very life and the eternal life.

 

First I have to congratulate you. you are sinless, now, All of your old sins had been forgiven and wiped out. You have a new and clear white sheets. Plz, try to keep it as it is.

Second, if you felt sorrow about the time you spent away from Allah, repented and regret for the sins you have done, by Allah's favor all of them will converted to good deeds,

"Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" Quran 025.070

 

plz, make Doa'a for your Egyptian brothers and sisters. they are in a fatal joint of their history, presidntial election, which will either lead them nearer to Allah or the opposite, Allah forbids

[Amna4 68]

Mabrook sister, welcome to Islam! I'm a convert as well, though a little younger than you :)

 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I can give you alternate contact information if you'd like, especially for small questions that you don't think need a thread to themselves (or just support, I'm good at that :D )

[SaracenSoldier 130]

That was a great read Alhumdulillah. I would've even read it if you wrote an essay as it's always great reading conversion/reversion stories.

 

Allahu Akbar .. and Al Hamdullilah .. great ending for a long journey I must say :)

 

Nah bro! This is just another chapter in the journey. The end is in Paradise insh'Allah(but I know what you mean :P).

[Nightingale 136]

The funny thing is, I've had Sara actually say I should write a book about it (but I don't think I want to). I love to write, but generally that is fiction. My life is not exactly a good example up to now to be honest, there's a lot I skipped and left out. Believe me. But thank you for the kind words, it helps to feel welcome here and in my faith for the first time ever.

[dot 350]

Allahu Akbar. Masha'Allah.

May Allah Al-Mighty keep you in the right path, and grant you happiness in both worlds, and may He open your mother's heart to the beauty of Islam in time.

(Please remember me and all forum members in your prayers. It means so much to us that you do.)

[Absolute truth 119]

Welcome to Islam sister :)

be patient

 

One must know that Allah will test him to see if he is a good Muslim or not because He loves him and He will give him more blessings if one pass the tests by endurance and with hope, asking Allah's help and seeking His pleasure.

 

- take Islam easy, slowly, without rush

 

One must start with priorities like learning how to make salah and starting to do it then gradually learning more things and practicing them; step by step, one will improve and do what he can to the best of his ability.

http://newmuslimacademy.org/

 

May Allah make the path of Islam smooth for all its followers ameen.

[Nightingale 136]

Thank you for that very much!!! I have registered there as well, as I feel anything that helps me learn is a good thing. :)

[Amna4 68]

I registered for that, but never heard anything back.

[mblack 4]

May Allah bless you sister!

What an interesting story!For sure Allah who soften the hearts of people.

[Saracen21stC 239]

Here is a book for new sisters in Islam.

 

http://www.gawaher.com/topic/739009-download-book-for-new-muslim-sisters/#entry1260693

[ParadiseLost 333]

Oh my God I am so happy to hear this news that I have a new sister in Islam. I knew when you joined this forum that you were an open minded person who truly wanted to understand Islam and this is what happens when people open their hearts. Remember faith is a journey with ups and downs along the way so turn to Allah always on the highs and as well on the lows never lose hope in Allah who showed you the way. May Allah keep you strong. Ameen

[Nuzha 14]

An interesting story. Nice for sharing.

Am a convert also.

Will post my conversion story after my exams. Insha Allah.

[torkisamira 17]

Shokranlellah. I hope you be a real Muslim. Allah keeps you safe my sister.

If you have problem inshaallah we can help you.

I love new Muslims. :heart:

Edited August 11, 2012 by torkisamira

[iMuhammad 2]

Thanks to Allah for your Islam

In fact when you became a Muslim you added to yourself, you help yourself.

Your faith will be more stronger by reading and listening to right stuffs about Islam or about another points and topics, learn of Islam what you need and what you want and go easily, improve yourself improve your life your health, try to learn Arabic language and sure it will help you in your Islam and also in your life.

knowledgeable and improving your better way to better Islam.

Thank you :)

[muslim-24 12]

Allahu Akbar sister!! Mashallah!

Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an 'Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace' and this may well be it my dear sister in Islam :)

May Allah (swt) increase your knowledge of Islam but also the ummah and grant all of us Jannat-ul-firdous, ameen ya-rabal a'lameen