Jump to content
Islamic Forum

Recommended Posts

Salaam alaikum to the Muslim members of Gawaher.com

 

I have a few question:

 

Why do some people seem more shy and aloof than others?

What makes them shy and uncofident?

 

SubhanAllah. I have a sister-in-law who I believe wasn't supposed to be my sis in law because my brother was supposed to marry another Muslim girl whose mom promised when we were kids that she (the Muslim girl) and my bro get married to each other in the future... but some things changed, so my bro had to marry our first cousin. This cousin of mine I think has to be the most shyest person I've ever met in my life. Even to say yes, she just says 'mm' and when saying 'no' she just shakes her head. And the funny thing is, she's one year older than me and seems to be a bit immature. She's a sister in law whom I can never do any activities with or even start a communication with. If you ask her a question, most of the time she'll give a brief answer and not bother asking back. She seems very very unfriendly, and because of that I've decided that she is a sis in law whom I can never be friends with.

 

There is a Hadith that goes something like "There is no good in a person who is unfriendly and whom others treat in an unfriendly way" or "There is no good in a person who has no kindness" something like that.

 

A Muslim is supposed to be friendly, approachable and cheerful. This sister in law and cousin of mine has no qualities of friendliness in my opinion. Yes I've been told many times that she is by nature very shy. But what I can't understand is why she is that way. What makes people shy?

 

Maybe it's because I'm a 'niqaabi' and she feels intimidated by my being more 'righteous' than her? Maybe it's because she's jealous of me for some reasons that only Allah knows?

 

May Allah reward whoever tries to answer the above questions. Ameen :)

 

Wasalaam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds
I have a few question:

Why do some people seem more shy and aloof than others?

What makes them shy and uncofident?

. . . . .

 

There is a Hadith that goes something like "There is no good in a person who is unfriendly and whom others treat in an unfriendly way" or "There is no good in a person who has no kindness" something like that.

. . . . .

 

Maybe it's because I'm a 'niqaabi' and she feels intimidated by my being more 'righteous' than her?

Maybe it's because she's jealous of me for some reasons that only Allah knows?

 

May Allah reward whoever tries to answer the above questions. Ameen

assalaamu'alaykum,

 

This is very interesting.

I have difficulty to explain in english, but i try hard to participate to reply.

 

I had post in another thread where I tried to say my thought:

"Muslimin and muslimah should always think and do the positives. We call it "husnul". And try hard not negatives ("su'ul").

When accidentaly we do negative, we should as soon as possible ask forgiveness."

 

What i am trying to say is, let's leave "j**lous" thought. And try another "maybe".

 

Please forgive me if my reply is not so clear, but that's all I can do right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

perhaps she is intimidated or simply has trouble communicating with others...some people are that way and those who find it easy to communicate with others find it hard to understand this. In everyday life I have an issue where I find it difficult to initiate a conversation. perhaps she finds you intimidating...instead of condemning her perhaps you should try to reach out to her, ask her if she is uncomfortable or if something is bothering her. While she could be wronging you have you stopped to think that perhaps you are hurting her without realizing it? The greater jihad is the inner...I learned this during Ramadan, more than I thought I would. We must look at ourselves and be willing to ponder on whether or not we are the ones in the wrong before we turn to point the finger at another for if we all do this would things not be better for us all?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you may, both, have diferent interests!!

 

you should try to find out what could be the most interisting subjects to here, religious, political, social, econimic, sports.....or could be about food preparing or children raising up...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wa 'alaikum as-salamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

You definately need to have some Husnu dhan, a good opinion of people. We should make excuses for people, not wonder whether they are more intimidate by us because we are more righteous or they are jealous of us.

 

Your post is nothing more than back-biting. This is not how you speak about your cousin and sister-in-law. I think you need to take a serious look at yourself before you make posts like these. Extreme shyness is a major inhibator for some people. It's like blaming a man with a serious medical condition for not going out with you to do some excercise. Read about this subject. The Internet is vast. There are forums where extremely shy people express themselves. You can learn from them. Search for "social anxiety".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wa Alikom AsSalam Wa Rahmatu Allah

 

She is shy, is it your judgement or all people around you think the same?

 

If all, then it's her character being shy. Not related to self confidence and maturity and it may even not shyness, I think she doesn't like to talk and doesn't like people talk to her.

 

It's not your Niqab and not your Niqab which makes you more righteous. In this, you did a mistake and you don't have right to judge who is more righteous, may it's she in front of Allah or may be in the future everything changes, who controls his future?! Say Al HamdliAllah

 

Your cousin is a good woman who doesn't like to communicate with people even you. As her sister if she has how she is with her, you may find the clue.

 

 

I was and I think I am still have something in her, I don't like to communicate and talk to people as long as they are not members of my family. Talking for talking could be not interested for some and when someone comes and nocks the door to talk, may feel sense of intervention and strange person wants to tease and annoy by saying useless boring words. You may felt that from her but this doesn't mean she is shy or bad, she just needs time to get used to her new life.

 

I have a sister-in-law who I believe wasn't supposed to be my sis in law because my brother was supposed to marry another Muslim girl

 

I think this is the most evil statement here, take care you try to cross the red line.

 

It's Nassib and they are married now so accept it and you have to. Please, don't try to make troubles and complain and repeat your wishes to have another sister in law. Don't ever never complain from her for not talking to you or for being shy or try to hint that you are more religious and wearing Niqab is better, it's a matter between her and her husband. Don't distort other people's life, search for other friends, it is not her duty to be your intimate friend. Don't annoy your brother and make him sad, they are at the beginning of their marriage, so don't be the bad one who is trying to corrupt it.

Sometimes sisters and mothers in law feel jealous of the brother's and son's wife. Don't be one of them with the allege of her shyness.

Finally be patient, sooner or later insha Allah she will give birth of a beautiful baby who will make her a different open woman and will be a good cause to talk and ask for help, a good beginning for a true friendship.

 

ربنا يبارك لهما في زواجهما ويرزقك بالزوج الصالح

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wa Alikom AsSalam Wa Rahmatu Allah

 

She is shy, is it your judgement or all people around you think the same?

 

If all, then it's her character being shy. Not related to self confidence and maturity and it may even not shyness, I think she doesn't like to talk and doesn't like people talk to her.

 

Salaam sister/brother in Islam,

 

Thank you and JazakAllahu khair for your sincere advice and frank comments :)

 

I believe that many people have told me in the past that she is an extremely shy girl, she even told me straight in the face that "I'm shy" a few days ago when I invited her to say salaam to some of my childhood friends. So she IS a very shy girl, though I don't understand why she has to be that way with a sister-in-law (me).

 

Allah knows best :)

JazakAllahu khair to you and everyone who commented in this thread for answering my questions, May Allah grant you all more knowledge of Islam and ability to teach others about the beautiful and only true religion Islam. Ameen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wa 'alaikum as-salamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

Your post is nothing more than back-biting. This is not how you speak about your cousin and sister-in-law. I think you need to take a serious look at yourself before you make posts like these. Extreme shyness is a major inhibator for some people.

 

Salaam brother Younus,

 

By posting this topic I did not intend to talk about my cousin and sis in law behind her back. There are two kinds of backbiting, the one that is haraam in which someone says for example "have you seen that dress she wore yesterday? she keeps wearing it every single day, she has no sense of style!' and allowed 'backbiting' where someone asks others, like some Sheikhs or Muslims who have more Islamic knowledge and eemaan, questions like "my husband does not go to the masjid everyday, is what he's doing ok or not?"

 

What I did in this topic was that of the latter where I only intended to seek advice, not to backbite. It's all about the intention. My intention was not to humiliate, but to inquire (sp?) ask questions about her, so that I can understand why my cousin and sis in law is so aloof and distant, when as a sister in law, she should be really close to me in that we do activities and projects together etc. but we can't have that kind of communication because she's not comfortable with me and neither am I comfortable with her. Allah knows best of course.

 

Anyway, JazakAllahu khair brother Younus and the others for answering my questions, May Allah bless all your forthcoming years with more good deeds that lead to Jannah/Heaven. Ameen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam sister/brother in Islam,

 

Thank you and JazakAllahu khair for your sincere advice and frank comments :)

 

I believe that many people have told me in the past that she is an extremely shy girl, she even told me straight in the face that "I'm shy" a few days ago when I invited her to say salaam to some of my childhood friends. So she IS a very shy girl, though I don't understand why she has to be that way with a sister-in-law (me).

 

Allah knows best :)

JazakAllahu khair to you and everyone who commented in this thread for answering my questions, May Allah grant you all more knowledge of Islam and ability to teach others about the beautiful and only true religion Islam. Ameen.

 

I was in that way and my sisters too. It couold be her nature or the way she is raised. It's not easy to communicate with her but if you really want, you have to be patient, ask her sister how to deal with her. Start with what she is interested in. She could be like a new cat entering your house and by time will deal and talk to all of you. It's my pleasure to introduce me to her.

 

All the best :happy:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in that way and my sisters too. It couold be her nature or the way she is raised. It's not easy to communicate with her but if you really want, you have to be patient, ask her sister how to deal with her. Start with what she is interested in. She could be like a new cat entering your house and by time will deal and talk to all of you. It's my pleasure to introduce me to her.

 

All the best :happy:

 

Allah knows best, sister in Islam :) I'm also thinking that her extremely shy personality and distant attitude with me could be due to her thinking that I wish I had a different sister in law who was more friendlier and had many things in common with me so that we could work with each other in Islamic activities, conducting Islamic circles/gatherings etc.

anyway, only Allah knows why He (Allah) destined that I live with a cousin and sister in law who is distant. It could be a chance for me to advise her on how to 'loosen up a bit', a chance for me to be more humble and minimize my 'ego', or even a chance to be trained how to remain quiet. I can imagine... if I had a sister in law who was as talkative and outgoing (though understanding, not outgoing in an immature way) as I am, I would spend more time talking, discussing, chit-chatting even through midnight like I often talked to a really close friend of mine back in Saudi Arabia on the phone.

Even my physical condition with my teeth is probably a way for me to avoid talking unnecessarily for reasons that only Allah knows. SubhanAllah.

Spending more time in saying adhkaarAllah is more than a zillion times better than chit-chatting.

 

Allah knows best :) Take care~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

May Allah forgive all our sins and guide us Muslims to those deeds that will bring us close to Him (Allah) and His beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam in Jannah/Heaven. Ameen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Allah knows best, sister in Islam :) I'm also thinking that her extremely shy personality and distant attitude with me could be due to her thinking that I wish I had a different sister in law who was more friendlier and had many things in common with me so that we could work with each other in Islamic activities, conducting Islamic circles/gatherings etc.

anyway, only Allah knows why He (Allah) destined that I live with a cousin and sister in law who is distant. It could be a chance for me to advise her on how to 'loosen up a bit', a chance for me to be more humble and minimize my 'ego', or even a chance to be trained how to remain quiet. I can imagine... if I had a sister in law who was as talkative and outgoing (though understanding, not outgoing in an immature way) as I am, I would spend more time talking, discussing, chit-chatting even through midnight like I often talked to a really close friend of mine back in Saudi Arabia on the phone.

Even my physical condition with my teeth is probably a way for me to avoid talking unnecessarily for reasons that only Allah knows. SubhanAllah.

Spending more time in saying adhkaarAllah is more than a zillion times better than chit-chatting.

 

Allah knows best :) Take care~

 

Allah grants you Firdaws

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

Actions are not solely by initial intentions. Take an example. Let's say you have wronged a friend and you want to go make up with him. You have the intention of making up. However, while you go to meet him, in the process you two end up fighting again due to you. Does this mean that you are excused? No. A lot of people initially have good intentions but they end up doing bad. Let's say you want to learn Qu'ran for Allah's sake. But along the way you start reciting it so that people will praise you for its recital. Or you want to become a scholar for Allah's sake but you end up liking the status that comes with it? Does this mean everybody is excused? I could write more examples but I hope you get the point.

 

Your post wasn't just about trying to solve a case.

 

I will show you what I mean:

 

I have a sister-in-law who I believe wasn't supposed to be my sis in law because my brother was supposed to marry another Muslim girl whose mom promised when we were kids that she (the Muslim girl) and my bro get married to each other in the future... but some things changed, so my bro had to marry our first cousin.

 

Is this information we really need to know in order to help you solve your case? Or is this part for the dramatic effect?

 

"And the funny thing is, she's one year older than me and seems to be a bit immature."

 

What is so funny here? I don't see the fun part?

 

"This sister in law and cousin of mine has no qualities of friendliness in my opinion. Yes I've been told many times that she is by nature very shy."

 

"Maybe it's because I'm a 'niqaabi' and she feels intimidated by my being more 'righteous' than her? Maybe it's because she's jealous of me for some reasons that only Allah knows?"

 

This last one is a dead giveaway that it is back-biting obviously fuelled by your evil suspicions.

 

(49:12). O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicion is sin. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother You would hate it. And have Taqwa of Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.)

 

For the Tafsir of this verse read the following: http://www.qtafsir.c...1753&Itemid=105

 

Read your post again. Pay attention to the tone of your post. It is obvious back-biting. Your original post was not a simple: "My sister-in-law/cousin is shy thus we don't really get along".

 

Oviously you don't know the proper etiquette on how to write a post concerning sensitive issues such as these which deal with ones own relatives. You need to be more care how you talk about people. Asking advice does not mean you say everything and anything that has crossed your mind regarding the person whom you are asking advice.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you should be easy with the sister. No one knows what the sister might have gone through her life. Also remember that shyness is a branch of Iman. She has left her family and her home and so maybe it will take her some time to get used to being around new people.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

Actions are not solely by initial intentions. Take an example. Let's say you have wronged a friend and you want to go make up with him. You have the intention of making up. However, while you go to meet him, in the process you two end up fighting again due to you. Does this mean that you are excused? No. A lot of people initially have good intentions but they end up doing bad. Let's say you want to learn Qu'ran for Allah's sake. But along the way you start reciting it so that people will praise you for its recital. Or you want to become a scholar for Allah's sake but you end up liking the status that comes with it? Does this mean everybody is excused? I could write more examples but I hope you get the point.

 

Your post wasn't just about trying to solve a case.

 

I will show you what I mean:

 

I have a sister-in-law who I believe wasn't supposed to be my sis in law because my brother was supposed to marry another Muslim girl whose mom promised when we were kids that she (the Muslim girl) and my bro get married to each other in the future... but some things changed, so my bro had to marry our first cousin.

 

Is this information we really need to know in order to help you solve your case? Or is this part for the dramatic effect?

 

"And the funny thing is, she's one year older than me and seems to be a bit immature."

 

What is so funny here? I don't see the fun part?

 

"This sister in law and cousin of mine has no qualities of friendliness in my opinion. Yes I've been told many times that she is by nature very shy."

 

"Maybe it's because I'm a 'niqaabi' and she feels intimidated by my being more 'righteous' than her? Maybe it's because she's jealous of me for some reasons that only Allah knows?"

 

This last one is a dead giveaway that it is back-biting obviously fuelled by your evil suspicions.

 

(49:12). O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicion is sin. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother You would hate it. And have Taqwa of Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.)

 

For the Tafsir of this verse read the following: http://www.qtafsir.c...1753&Itemid=105

 

Read your post again. Pay attention to the tone of your post. It is obvious back-biting. Your original post was not a simple: "My sister-in-law/cousin is shy thus we don't really get along".

 

Oviously you don't know the proper etiquette on how to write a post concerning sensitive issues such as these which deal with ones own relatives. You need to be more care how you talk about people. Asking advice does not mean you say everything and anything that has crossed your mind regarding the person whom you are asking advice.

 

While the one about being more righteous might be backbiting the rest sounds simply like an American talking. Sounds like a misunderstanding of cultural differences on that point

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While the one about being more righteous might be backbiting the rest sounds simply like an American talking. Sounds like a misunderstanding of cultural differences on that point

 

As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

In some cultures it is normal to backbite. I would say that in most societies backbiting happens even without people noticing it!

 

"It was asked, `O Allah's Messenger! What is backbiting' He said,

 

«ذِكْرُكَ أَخَاكَ بِمَا يَكْرَه»

 

(Mentioning about your brother in a manner that he dislikes.) He was asked, `What if my brother was as I mentioned' He said,

 

«إِنْ كَانَ فِيهِ مَا تَقُولُ فَقَدِ اغْتَبْتَهُ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ فِيهِ مَا تَقُولُ فَقَدْ بَهَتَّه»

 

(If he was as you mentioned, you will have committed backbiting. But if he was not as you say about him, you will have falsely accused him.)''

 

http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1753&Itemid=105

 

Backbiting is easy because after all you are not lying!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

see what I mean? You are not understanding what I am saying even thus proving my point for me.

 

I have noticed this more and more. A lot of individuals ( including those from Europe ) do not understand how people from the states communicate and they mistake some comments as being ill-willed when in truth it is just how one talks. I get what you are saying and I am not talking about back biting. I am talking about the extra information, this is a common way of telling things in the states. It has nothing to do with backbiting. But, in order to make you understand what I am saying I had to break down what I was saying for you. Make sense now?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As-salamu 'alaikum

 

I don't misunderstand what you are saying. I just disagree with it. If that's how people talk in the States, i.e. don't choose their words carefully and thus end up backbiting, that's too bad. Like I said, the point is not whether it is ill-willed or not. Most back-biters think they are simply relaying information, i.e. saying the truth about their brother like the Hadith hints at. Backbiting does not necessarily mean that you do it with malicious intent. Some people don't backbite out of ill-will. They do it because they don't watch their tongue, i.e. they end up doing it like I explained. In Islam we have a concept of guarding the tongue. Telling extra information is not bad in itself - if you do it in a careful, considerate manner. But when you don't watch your language and do it in an appropriate manner, it does not matter if you are from the US, Europe, Asia or another place.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

so you choose what is an inappropriate manner now? sounds like shirk to me? careful 'bout playing judge

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

so you choose what is an inappropriate manner now? sounds like shirk to me? careful 'bout playing judge

 

Shirk? Stop being ridiculous.

 

As a matter of fact, in this case Allah is not the only who has a say. It would be the person who was backbited. That's why backbiting is such a disasterous sin. When it comes to other sins, they are between you and Allah, and Allah is very forgiving while a lot of people are not that forgiving. May Allah forgive and cover our sins.

 

I will end this discussion with two hard quotes:

 

"Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allah will forgive him. But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his [backbited] companion forgives him." [suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

 

What is backbiting:

 

"Your mentioning your brother with something about him that he dislikes [being spoken about]."

Someone asked, "How about if my brother contains that [characteristic which I am mentioning]?"

He replied, "If he possesses that which you mention, then you have [indeed] backbited him. And, if he does not contain that which you say, then you have slandered him." [Muslim in al-Birr, 4/2001, #70; Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 2/230,384]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The greater jihad is the inner...I learned this during Ramadan, more than I thought I would.

 

Asalamualikum brother,

 

Just wanted to correct you on this. The inner jihad is something very important and something we all engage in everyday in our lives. However, the Jihad of fighting is the greater Jihad in Islam.

 

Narrated Abu Huraira: A man came to Allah's Apostle(saw) and said, 'Instruct me as to such a deed as equals Jihad (in reward).' He replied, 'I do not find such a deed.' Then he added, 'Can you, while the Muslim fighter is in the battle-field, enter your Masjid to perform prayers without cease and fast and never break your fast?' The man said, 'But who can do that?' Abu- Huraira added, 'The Mujahid (i.e. Muslim fighter) is rewarded even for the footsteps of his horse while it wanders bout (for grazing) tied in a long rope.'

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 52, Number 45

 

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 50:

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

The Prophet said, "A single endeavor (of fighting) in Allah's Cause in the forenoon or in the afternoon is better than the world and whatever is in it."

 

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 73:

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Abi Aufa:

Allah's Apostle said, "Know that Paradise is under the shades of swords."

 

Amr bin Absah narrates: A man said O Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu 'alayhi wassalam) what is Islam? He (salla Allahu 'alayhi wassalam) said, Islam is submission of your heart, and that the Muslims are safe from your tongue and your hands He said: What is the best of Islam? The Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu 'alayhi wassalam) said, Iman (Faith) He said what is faith? The Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu 'alayhi wassalam) replied, To believe in Allah, His angels, His books, His Messengers, and the resurrection after death He said, What is the best of Iman? The Messenger of Allah said, Hijrah He said what is hijrah? The Messenger of Allah said, To leave sins behind” He said, What is the best of hijrah? The Messenger of Allah said, Jihad He said what is the best of Jihad? The Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu 'alayhi wassalam) said, The one whose horse is slain and his blood is spilled. (Ahmad & al-Tabarani & al-Bayhaqi)

 

Also this article from Islam QA:

 

 

Which is the greater jihad, jihad with one's nafs or jihad in the battlefield ?

 

 

Praise be to Allaah.

 

It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), said to his companions when they returned from a military campaign, “We have come back from the lesser jihaad to the greater jihaad.” They said, “Is there any greater jihaad than jihaad against the kuffaar?” he said, “Yes, jihaad al-nafs (jihaad against the self).”

 

This hadeeth is not saheeh.

 

Undoubtedly jihaad against the self comes before jihaad against the kuffaar, because one cannot strive against the kuffaar until after one has striven against one’s own self, because fighting is something which the self dislikes. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 

“Jihaad (holy fighting in Allaah’s Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know”[al-Baqarah 2:216]

 

The point is that jihaad against the enemy cannot take place until one strives and forces oneself to do it, until one’s self submits and accepts that.

 

Fataawa Manaar al-Islam by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), 2/421

 

Ibn al-Qayyim said: “Jihaad is of four stages: jihaad al-nafs (striving against the self), jihaad al-shayaateen (striving against the shayaateen or devils), jihaad al-kuffaar (striving against the disbelievers) and jihaad al-munaafiqeen (striving against the hypocrites).

 

Jihaad al-nafs means striving to make oneself learn true guidance, and to follow it after coming to know it, calling others to it, and bearing with patience the difficulties of calling others to Allaah. Jihaad al-Shaytaan means striving against him and warding off the doubts and desires that he throws at a person, and the doubts that undermine faith, and striving against the corrupt desires that he tries to inspire in a person. Jihaad against the kuffaar and munaafiqeen is done in the heart and on the tongue, with one’s wealth and oneself. Jihaad against the kuffaar mostly takes the form of physical action, and jihaad against the munaafiqeen mostly takes the form of words… The most perfect of people are those who have completed all the stages of jihaad. People vary in their status before Allaah according to their status in jihaad.”(Zaad al-Ma’aad 3/9-12)

 

And Allaah knows best.

 

http://islamqa.info/...5/greater jihad

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Shirk? Stop being ridiculous.

 

As a matter of fact, in this case Allah is not the only who has a say. It would be the person who was backbited. That's why backbiting is such a disasterous sin. When it comes to other sins, they are between you and Allah, and Allah is very forgiving while a lot of people are not that forgiving. May Allah forgive and cover our sins.

 

I will end this discussion with two hard quotes:

 

"Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allah will forgive him. But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his [backbited] companion forgives him." [suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

 

What is backbiting:

 

"Your mentioning your brother with something about him that he dislikes [being spoken about]."

Someone asked, "How about if my brother contains that [characteristic which I am mentioning]?"

He replied, "If he possesses that which you mention, then you have [indeed] backbited him. And, if he does not contain that which you say, then you have slandered him." [Muslim in al-Birr, 4/2001, #70; Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 2/230,384]

 

shirk? by making one self judge of another you tread close to associating yourself with the one judge. You speak in generic terms and are quick to condemn instead of understand. You do not bother to try and gather together the full situation. Instead of trying to solve the situation you want to play overseer. Try being a peacemaker instead of a judge, more people might listen to what you have to say and they will come out better for it and then you both shall have the reward where it truly matters

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Similar Content

    • By AbdulRasheed
      https://teespring.com/deen-over-dunya-june-2020?pid=936&cid=103888
    • By promoj

       
      Song name : Qasida Burda Sharif (Maulla Ya Salli Wasallim ) Love from india
      Album : Rise up 
      Label : QB Productions 
      Singer : Mazhar Khan 
       
      Qasida Burda Shareef also famous as Maullaya Salli Wasallim is one of the best and much sung Qasida in the honour of our Prophet (PBUH) around the world. Many versions have been made and much appreciated by the people. Here we are with the Maullaya Salli Wasallim Love from India from our album Rise Up. Singer Mazhar Khan has been singing this when he was 5 and always thought of making it once on the platform where it can be heard by others.
       
      We picked up a theme with concept in this video that everyone comes across the needy in their day to day life but mostly we choose to deny from helping them because of our busy schedule and other commitments, mostly because of our own greed. Our Prophet always taught us that one should always help the needy and the almighty will give you the return with much much great bounties. 
      Lets hear it and see how you can also find people to help and give some of your time to make this world a beautiful place to live. In Sha Allah. 
      Thanks to our team
    • By Noora.
      Female vs Woman, Male vs Man
       

       
      A Female vs. A Woman
       
      In the early days, kings, princes and men of status, when they used to choose a wife or even buy a slave girl, beauty was not the only factor. Her knowledge, ability to communicate and convince, her awareness of the history and the surroundings, her skills in medicine, were all taken into account, not just her beauty and femininity. When you study in the history of mankind, some of the best leaders used to seek support and consultation from their own women. Everyone knows the saying; behind every great man is a great woman.
      Today, we find out that the opposite is true. Where does this come from?
       
      Historians in the early days used to say, if you want to know the power and strength and the future of any nation, see the condition of their own women. There is a big difference between a female, a girl and a woman. A female is the biological terminology for the female of the species. A girl is a young female, who does not know what she wants in life. What then, is a woman or a lady? She is a female with a good character, a serious goal and responsibility, and who lives her life to fulfil her goal.
       
      According to the Qur'an, the title of a woman denotes someone who carries the message of Allah, with full responsibility, with the willingness to devote and sacrifice her life for the message. The example in chapter 66, verses 10- 12 speaks for itself:
       
      Allah presents an example of those who disbelieved: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were under two of Our righteous servants but betrayed them, so those prophets did not avail them from Allah at all, and it was said, "Enter the Fire with those who enter."
       
      And Allah presents an example of those who believed: the wife of Pharaoh, when she said, "My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds and save me from the wrongdoing people."
       
      And [the example of] Maryam [Mary], the daughter of 'Imran, who guarded her chastity, so We blew into [her garment] through Our angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was of the devoutly obedient.
       
      The Qur’an gives us a spectrum of examples, starting with women who married the greatest of men but still had the highest level of disobedience, such as the wives of Nuh AS and Lut AS. On the other hand, Allah honours the wife of the Pharaoh by calling her a woman, for standing up against her husband, one of the worst tyrants in mankind, and standing firm for sabeelillah, the message and the belief, even when it led to her brutal torture and death. Further, the Qur’an shows that the ultimate journey in life, to obtain Allah’s pleasure, can be done without a husband, as was demonstrated by Maryam AS. The Qur’an shows us the example of what being a true woman means.
       
      Today, we are at the end of time. The ummah and mankind have developed a lot of diseases from colonialism, media brainwashing and propaganda, which promotes the female to be an airhead, competing in material status and chasing flashy lifestyles - but losing herself, her principles, belief and integrity in the process. The woman has been conditioned to become weak, vulnerable and easily manipulated, for a bigger goal, which is to weaken the nation.
       
      In the early days, people used to say that teaching one woman is like teaching a nation. This is because of the role of women as the role models and educators of their children and the next generation. If we do the opposite and ignore the potential and role of the woman, we can destroy a nation, because any nation, and the future of any nation, is measured by the strength and the character of its own women.
       
      A Male vs. A Man
       
      Similar to women, when a man is not a man (as in he does not have the values, goals and aim in this life), he is just a biological male: hollow, vulnerable, weak, insecure, egotistical and empty. What drives him? He would want to play the role of a man, but he does not have the qualities of one. The only way to give him assurance and to make him feel satisfied with his own character and superiority, is if he finds an equally hollow person to reinforce his own fantasy of manhood and being the one in control.
       
      The man is supposed to be the developer and the maker of his own woman, not the breaker of his own woman. If he is empty inside and has nothing to give – in terms of values, character, guidance – it is easier for him to look for someone who is even more hollow than he is as his life partner. If he finds someone who possesses greater strength of character than he does, he will end up breaking her.
       
      However, the woman is also partly responsible. It is a vicious cycle: she wants a material life, wealth and companionship, regardless of his manner, character and soul. If she does not develop her own qualities and character, and is content remaining airheaded and superficial, this is the kind of man who will be drawn to her.
       
      Continue reading here: http://muslimfootsteps.com/?q=a-woman-of-substance-or-a-bimbo/page/0/1
    • By anisafatima
      Islamic Words Scramble is an IOS scramble game that is not only a fun for kids but improves Islamic words vocabulary.

       
      Download Islamic Words Scramble here : https://itunes.apple.com/app/id588953780?mt=8
    • By anisafatima
      Islamic Word Finder is a dual featured game that is it provides fun by improving mental capability and enhances knowledge about Islamic words, vocabulary and terminologies.

       
      Download Islamic Word Finder from here : https://itunes.apple.com/app/id636454380?mt=8
×