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AishasHeart

How Can I Purify My Intentions? Heartbreak Is Corrupting Me.

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As-salamu alaykum,

 

My name is Aisha, and i am a muslim. My mother is a white convert, and my father is a british indian. I have always had a mixed identity, and although both my parents are practicing muslims, having many non-muslim family members (from my mothers side), has always made it very difficult for me to be as practicing as i know i should be. My parents have always encouraged me, especially my father, to practice Islam, but i've always pushed religion to one side- always knowing the importance of religion but not fearing god enough to do anything about it.

 

I am currently at university, and have just started my second year. Towards the end of my first year, I met a lovely muslim boy who studies on the same course as me. Although he is far from perfect, i feel that he is a good person and has Islam in his heart. He suffered a great deal of guilt and regret about the relationship we shared (and although i could fully understand why, i just couldn't bring myself to feel the same way- i was totally blinded by the euphoria of love). over the course of about 4 months we grew very close, and i know perfectly well this should never have happened- but it did. love is a powerful thing and can blind the heart and soul. Recently he told me he could never see a future with me, he's reasons being that he wanted to find a wife who was a practicing muslim, and that he believed we weren't right for each other. (although i have faith in my heart, i am not practicing at all, something i am very ashamed of). After he said this to me, i felt the strong desire to become more practicing, in the hope that he would change he's mind about me. I cant help but feel that this is entirely wrong, and i am changing for the wrong reasons. how can i purify my intentions? i'm in a constant battle with myself and its killing me. I have been praying to god to purify my intentions, to take away the heart ache- which is leading me to want to change myself to win him back, rather than for the sake of Allah. any advice would be much appreciated.

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PropellerAds

Do you think you could give up on a relationship with this man and still move towards a more faithful lifestyle? From my religious days, I can recall advise like this, that you should place the hope of a relationship with this man in the hands of God, and seek him without expectation. Then if God sees fit, the man will return to you, otherwise God must have another plan for you. I hope this helps.

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We alikum esalam,

 

Changing intention can be managed if you try to focus on it more each day, or I can say every hour. Your heart ache wont go easily, it goes by time and trying to get busy with other matters in life.

 

I think you try and find some good friends to be around you, good practicing friends and do more activities with them.

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