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My Mother Is Unbearable

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My mother is really unbearable. She wants to take complete control of me. She is the one who decide whatever in my life. If I disagree with her, then she will curse me. Because I am rebellious, she hates me so much. She always talks sinisterly to me. She laughes at my failure, always blames me about everything although I am not the one who make mistake, and never bother to take care of me. She does everything for everyone at home but me. She always gets in the way everytime I try to do something good and beneficial for my life. She thinks that children's duty is following all parents' wants. She likes to think of children as puppet to gain her ambition. She always thinks that happiness only belongs to parents while children's happiness is irrelevant, they are bonds to parents' order forever. She always discourages me eveytime I try to do something good. It pleases her to think of me as failure children so she can prove that rebellious children will be failure. And coincidently, I get so much difficulty in getting job. She insults me because of that failure of mine everytime and makes me example of what happens if you are not obidient to your parents. Worse, she is my true mother because she looks like me so much.

Remembering those all things above, making me difficult to think to please her. I can't stand her anymore. All those insults, laughes, sinister comments, discouraging words, and bad actions have made me hate her. I even swear to avenge all of these after I am successful. But my conscience said that I am wrong. Muslim should be good to parents. But how can I love someone who have made my life like in hell and hurt me so much? I hope you can help me.

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Asalaamu Alaykum,


Your situation is very unpleasent and I pray that Allah eases the situation and guides your mother inshallah.


Firstly you conscience is right, we need to be the best we can be towards our parents. Try to forget how she has behaved to you in recent years and think back to when you were a young child how your mother cared and tended to your needs let your love for her stem from there. We have a great duty towards our parents but we are not slaves to them, if your mother asks you to do something which neither conflicts Islamic principles or an ambition of yours then politely tell her why you cannot do such a thing. however if its is something that you can do, then try to do it and do it with a smile and show her affection and love.


Personally for your situation I think marriage would be best, it would enable you to move away, which would help so that your not in each others way all the time (sometimes people clash because they are too similar) and so you can forget small things easier and spent quality time with her when you see her.


Dont have hatred in your heart towards her, dont seek to avenge things, pray that Allah guides you both.


May Allah make things easy for you and your mother,

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There are many people like you who usually experience these issues with their family members.......you have to be very patient while dealing with your mother........If you response her nicely and calmly then she will be calm too Inshallah...

if you want your mom to let you do what you want then you also need to accept some points of her...


if you compromize some points of yours..then you mom will also listen to you...Inshallah!


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