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2Nd Wife A Proper Guideline

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out of curiosity, Ive been having these thoughts in my mind lately. thinking to post on twitter. but posting it here better no? :P Muslims or non muslims please share your thoughts :P Guys and Girls all are welcome. Loooking forward to listen from the girls.

Polygamy is accepted in Islam provided that he has to fit all of the requirements. Maa3roof. Dont you think there must be a hikmah why Alllah allowed polygamy.


A married couple, happy, full of barakah. They are like the "Family of the year".

find a good reason why dont you want to put yourself into that kind of family. What is the harm?


Lets say a girl fell in love with someone's husband. That guy doesnt even know, she wants to marry him. What are the guidelines and ethics for her to be the second wife. What does it take to be that without people saying youre a "theif!".


From what ive seen, in the middle east. When the husbands says he wants to marry another girl, the first wife will look for him the new wife.


What if the case, the girl who wanted to be his second wife. And want to do it in a proper and halal way.

Should she like go and see his first wife and tell her that she fell in love with her husband. :P

She might , "I would never ever ever give my consent". or simply slap you accross your face :P or the good wife will say. "Ill ask him, wether he likes you or not" haha




the girl ask her parents to meet up with the married man family.


Please share your thoughts, dont think that im crazy I like to think something that got nothing to do with me :P

And dont think im weird cz im a girl.

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Wa 'alaikumu as-salamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh


If the woman wanted to get married to a man as a second wife, she would have her wali/family contact the man she is interested in. That's Umm-ul-Mu'mineen Hafsa (ra) did. She had her father, Umar bin al-Khattab (ra), go and propose to the Prophet (pbuh).

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If there is one thing that I don't like in Islam, it is polygamy. Don't get me wrong. I admit that it is allowed and halal in Islam. I know there are many women out there who can allow their husbands to do polygamy and I praise them for that. But I simply can't accept it within my life. I would rather get a divorce than having my husband share his love, attention, and money with another women. Also, there was no sin if a woman rejected her husband to do polygamy, like what Fatimah Az-Zahra, the daughter of Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh), did to Ali ibn Abi Thalib. And Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) supported her decision to not allow Ali to do polygamy.

So, my advice to muslim women is please search for any bachelors around before you decide to marry another's husband. It HURTS A LOT for his first wife. Imagine that you are in his first wife's place and your husband is about to marry again. Doesn't it hurt?

I think Brother Younes has answered about how to do it in proper way, but don't forget to ask for his first wife's consent because fellow muslim women don't want to hurt each other, right? ;) If his first wife doesn't mind, you can proceed to the marriage. That is all from me :)


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Here is a few points to reflect in that regard:

  • Its not proper for a Muslim man to seek another wife, unless his needs are not fulfilled by his wife, and on the condition that he would be able to treat both the same, and that the wife accepts that he gets a second wife.
  • Its not proper for a Muslim girl to seek marriage from a married man, because that man might have no lawful reasons to marry another woman.
  • The proper way is that the wife should be the first to know of her husband's wish, discuss it together and reach a mutual understanding.
  • Its not a bad idea for her to choose for him, At least she can choose someone kind and well mannered, so that they become friends not enemies.
  • It takes a real pious humble wife to accept the thought of another wife. Someone who loves her husband for the sake of Almighty Allah, not for her selfish property. Not everyone is that humble, that's why wives are allowed to refuse and get a divorce instead.
  • Falling in love is never a lawful reason for a girl to marry a married man, or for a husband to get a second wife.
  • Islam made polygamy lawful to fight unlawful sex, and to solve the problem of women over-numbering men at times crisis, wars etc.

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Here is a few points to reflect in that regard:

  • Its not proper for a Muslim man to seek another wife, unless his needs are not fulfilled by his wife, and on the condition that he would be able to treat both the same, and that the wife accepts that he gets a second wife.


From what I understand is that, A man is not allowed to marry another girl, unless his needs are not fulfilled by his wife.

however, I dont think that was the case with RasuluLLAH sallahu alaihi wassalam.

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Dots first point, i disagree with.


There is nothing to stipulate this a man can marry again even if needs are being fulfilled. What is lawful is lawful and we should not add our own constraints on these things. However there is a level of wisdom a man should employ before making the decision because it can damage his relationship with his wife if he marries again.

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