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Introducing Islam To My Children


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#1 New Muslimah

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Posted 27 December 2012 - 09:08 PM

Just in case you haven't read my other thread, I agreed a compromise with my children this Christmas. I agreed that they could have the 24th, 25th and 26th as normal, but that in return, I wanted them to try living life a Muslim for three days on the 27th, 28th and 29th, which was agreed.

So today was the first of the 3 days of trying out Islam! It's been a little better than I expected, but so far no conversions! (Not that I expected any).

They have tried halal meat, which I think was the most positive thing today. For some reason they were expecting it to taste differently, or even horrible, so they were pleasantly surprised when it tasted just as good as any other. So that's one fear I've managed to reassure them with.

I asked my sons to wear topiis, which they did. My eldest son said that it wasn't too different from a beanie hat (which is a causal cap which is in fashion). I think that played it's part in helping them accept it more easily. They didn't complain about wearing it.

I also asked my daughter to wear the hijab. She looked so nice! I think it's going to take some getting used to, but she wasn't negative about it, and she does understand why it's a good thing to wear. I've been positively encouraging her all day with it.

I also asked them to respect the five daily prayers in their own way, with their own prayer, which we did, and I also let them listen to a little bit of the Quran read in English and Arabic (thanks to YouTube).

So all in all it's been quite positive! I think my youngest son has been the most receptive of things today, so I'm going to concentrate on him a little more tomorrow. But I think I've also helped to change my two elder son's perceptions of Islam, because beforehand they were not very accepting of it.

Is there any advice or suggestions you could offer for the next two days of their introduction to Islam? Perhaps on things I need to do with them individually?

#2 Absolute truth

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Posted 28 December 2012 - 09:01 PM

Mashaa'Allah sister :)

My advice is to tell them about stories of prophets and the essence of their same message.

http://www.rasoulall....ng=en&doc=6185
http://www.rasoulall....=en&folder=709
http://www.rasoulall....=en&folder=844

http://www.usislam.o....he_prophet.htm

http://www.islamweb.....atelnabi1.html
http://www.islamweb.....s/mawakef.html

#3 Amna4

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 06:45 AM

Mashallah, I'm glad this worked out nicely! :)

#4 Nightingale

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 11:52 AM

I second Amna's comment. This is good to hear. :)

#5 SaracenSoldier

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 01:24 PM

You might find something useful here(either for the kids or yourself):

http://kalamullah.com/

Good luck!

#6 New Muslimah

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:30 PM

Assalam Alaikum!

 

It has been a short while since I was here, but I have made real progress with my children! 

 

The 3 days of introducing them to Islam went extremely well! And I'm really happy with how things have turned out.

 

My youngest son has been quite receptive of Islam and I know that is promising for the future. My daughter has varied a little, but on New Years Day, which was after the 3 days had ended, she did ask to wear the hijab I bought her when we were going out because she didn't want boys to be looking at her (her words!) But I'm not sure where I go from that with her.

 

The most remarkable turn around has been with my eldest son! Before Christmas he was extremely angry with everything, including just simple things like eating halal meat. But now he's perfectly happy to eat halal and thinks that Islam is actually a good way to live! The change in him has been incredible!  I never thought I'd stand a chance of convincing him, but actually, with a bit more work and encouragement, I might just get a shahadah out of him! 


Edited by New Muslimah, 03 January 2013 - 05:33 PM.


#7 Nightingale

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 07:47 PM

It is wonderful hearing that news for sure. As for your daughter, the only thing I can say is this: that was my very first comment I made before I wore the hijab for the first time. I'd say not to pressure too much, but just by you doing it, and her feeling comfortable enough to ask for it on her own, she'll respond well to it I think.



#8 New Muslimah

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 08:02 PM

It is wonderful hearing that news for sure. As for your daughter, the only thing I can say is this: that was my very first comment I made before I wore the hijab for the first time. I'd say not to pressure too much, but just by you doing it, and her feeling comfortable enough to ask for it on her own, she'll respond well to it I think.

 

InshaAllah, I hope so. She goes back to school very soon and it's a mixed school, so I would quite like her to wear it there. But that has to be her own decision. Though perhaps it would be strange for a girl to wear the hijab when she hasn't accepted Islam. But if she wants to wear it, or wear it out anywhere, then she knows she can and that I will be happy for her. 



#9 New Muslimah

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 03:26 PM

Can I ask, how is it best to introduce the idea of reverting to Islam to kids? (Especially teenagers?)

 

What would I need to talk to them about and tell them they would have to do when accepting Islam? I have some good ideas, but I'd really like a guide between the 'must do' things and the 'optional' things. I'm not sure if there is more leniency for younger reverts either, depending on what the issue is. 



#10 Younes

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:07 AM

Can I ask, how is it best to introduce the idea of reverting to Islam to kids? (Especially teenagers?)

 

What would I need to talk to them about and tell them they would have to do when accepting Islam? I have some good ideas, but I'd really like a guide between the 'must do' things and the 'optional' things. I'm not sure if there is more leniency for younger reverts either, depending on what the issue is. 

 

As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

Just ask, "Would you like to become Muslims?", and have a discussion about. You have converted to Islam yourself, therefore, use your studies and experiences to explain why they should convert to Islam. 

 

Well the five prayers are a must do. Being good to your parents and to the rest of the people is a must do. Saying "Bismillah" when starting to eat or drink and saying "al-hamdulillah" when you finish are must dos. Being a Muslim would not really be such a huge change of life in day to day life when you get used to it. The reason is because doing ablution (for the prayers) and praying the prayers does not take long, really. There aren't a lot of must dos in day to day life but there are plenty of optional deeds.

 

There are some must no dos like looking at members of the opposite unless there's an excuse, i.e. work, school. Don't eat haram. Don't backbite. nor do haram things. Here is a list of 70 major sins:

 

http://www.gawaher.c...692-major-sins/

 

Avoid these and it's good.



#11 Younes

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:10 AM

Hadith 2:480

Narrated Abu Huraira:

A Bedouin came to the Prophet and said, "Tell me of such a deed as will make me enter Paradise, if I do it." The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Worship Allah, and worship none along with Him, offer the (five) prescribed compulsory prayers perfectly, pay the compulsory Zakat, and fast the month of Ramadan." The Bedouin said, "By Him, in Whose Hands my life is, I will not do more than this." When he (the Bedouin) left, the Prophet said, "Whoever likes to see a man of Paradise, then he may look at this man."



#12 ParadiseLost

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 01:01 PM

Also I think it is a good idea to tell them that we are all born Muslims i.e. we are all in submission to Allah when we are born. Then tell them that during our childhood perhaps we are taught other things just like you were but when we reach a certain age we start to develop a more questioning ability. You can tell your teenagers especially that they have the ability to now question what they were taught and start to think about what is the right way. You can use yourself as an example - you were born a Muslim but raised in a different religion and then you decided one day to start searching for the truth. 

 

Make sure they are aware that there is a good way in life and a bad way in life and that we all choose a way. Tell them that you want them to choose the right way but that ultimately the decision lays with them. Educate them and support them is the best you can do and they will choose as they wish. 



#13 New Muslimah

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:20 PM

As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

Just ask, "Would you like to become Muslims?", and have a discussion about. You have converted to Islam yourself, therefore, use your studies and experiences to explain why they should convert to Islam. 

Salam,

 

I read this early this morning along with the other replies and the advice here is so good! MashaAllah!

 

I took your advice and I asked them their feelings. I got some mixed results, but I can't expect miracles. But I am quite happy with most of their responses.

 

My eldest son surprised me once again, he said he had been thinking about it, and would like to learn salat, and see how that goes. I've said I'll teach him and I've printed him off a really simple guide from the internet. He has really opened up to Islam in the last 3 weeks or so, just a while ago he was very much against any changes. It's incredible. I never thought I'd get half as much a positive response from him on this. I asked him what he thought about what I had said previously about muslim boys not being allowed to have girlfriends and he said it was "probably right" and he said he wouldn't have a girlfriend if I was against it. I think my prayers are being answered. I just feel it. 

 

My second son said no, he doesn't want to, but he doesn't mind me being muslim or "doing muslim things" as he put it. For the time being I'm going to hold back from doing anything further with him. I don't want him to feel pressured.

 

My daughter said she quite likes Islam, but she wasn't sure about converting. I asked her about the hijab and she has positive views about it. She thinks she looks nice with it, and she thinks I look nice with mine, bless her! I asked her if she would wear it out tomorrow when we are going out for the day, and she said she would. I did say it was her choice and she knows I won't make her if she doesn't want to. As for wearing one to school, I didn't mention that, but I might ask her on Monday morning if she would consider it. 

 

My youngest son likes the stories and things I've been telling him. He likes understanding the morals of the stories and the point of what is being said. He is still young enough to be influenced by me, so I am not too worried about him. When I asked him if he would like to become a muslim he nodded and smiled, but I'm not sure if he really understands because of his age. He nods and smiles about a lot of things, so I'm not sure with him. He's at that age when it's hard to know what he is really thinking. 

 

I'll let you know how it goes. 

 

I am praying all the time that they accept Islam. I want them on the right path in life. 



#14 Younes

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

As-salamu 'alaikum

 

Masha Allah, you have had some unexpected results.

 

Your youngest child sounds cute. The rest sound nice, too. My suggestion is to raise your youngest as a Muslim. If he is 10-years-old, he understands. 10-years do understand.

 

As for the rest of your children, I would you to point there attention some big philosophical questions, questions such as, "Why am I here?", "Do I have a purpose? If so, what is it?", and to go further we should ask ourselves, "Why anything exists in the first place?", "Is there a Creator", "Do I want to Him?", "Where do I stand with Him", "Why has created me?". It is good for them to take a look at the signs of Allah in the world. For some inspiration on the signs of Allah, I invite you to read the following: http://www.gawaher.c...ever/?p=1229733

 

It seems to be that you have focused a lot on doing, i.e. praying, trying out the topi and the hijab, which is creative and obviously has produced great results. However, Islam concerns first and foremost about the belief in God, Allah, so that should be the priority. I don't know it is possible that you have addressed the philosophical questions, like "Why are here?" and "Is there a God and who is He?", and emphasized it, however, what comes across from your posts is the doing aspect. So, my suggestion would be to keep doing what is working, i.e. talking about what Islam practice is and encouraging it, but also emphasize the belief and intellectual aspect as well. That is if you have not done so already, as one cannot really talk about everything in one post.

 

I wish you good luck. May Allah guide your children.



#15 New Muslimah

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 01:53 AM

As-salamu 'alaikum

 

Masha Allah, you have had some unexpected results.

 

Your youngest child sounds cute. The rest sound nice, too. My suggestion is to raise your youngest as a Muslim. If he is 10-years-old, he understands. 10-years do understand.

 

Salam,

 

He does understand, but I'm just not sure it's the same type of understanding as the others. But as I said, he is still young enough to be influenced by me, so I was thinking on similar lines to your suggestion. My question would be, would he need to say the shahadah? I assume that he would, so should I just ask him to repeat after me?

 

As for the rest of your children, I would you to point there attention some big philosophical questions, questions such as, "Why am I here?", "Do I have a purpose? If so, what is it?", and to go further we should ask ourselves, "Why anything exists in the first place?", "Is there a Creator", "Do I want to Him?", "Where do I stand with Him", "Why has created me?". It is good for them to take a look at the signs of Allah in the world. For some inspiration on the signs of Allah, I invite you to read the following: http://www.gawaher.c...ever/?p=1229733

 

It seems to be that you have focused a lot on doing, i.e. praying, trying out the topi and the hijab, which is creative and obviously has produced great results. However, Islam concerns first and foremost about the belief in God, Allah, so that should be the priority. I don't know it is possible that you have addressed the philosophical questions, like "Why are here?" and "Is there a God and who is He?", and emphasized it, however, what comes across from your posts is the doing aspect. So, my suggestion would be to keep doing what is working, i.e. talking about what Islam practice is and encouraging it, but also emphasize the belief and intellectual aspect as well. That is if you have not done so already, as one cannot really talk about everything in one post.

 

I wish you good luck. May Allah guide your children.

 

You are right. I have tried to blend theory and practice together, or understanding while doing, if you like. It has worked really well mashaAllah. But you are absolutely right that I now need to go deeper into philosophical issues with them. 

 

All of them do believe in God, I know that for certain, but whether they are yet totally convinced that God is Allah, I'm not sure. I can say that my Islamic critique of Christian belief was received well by them, i.e. that God is one, and does not have sons or partners. I have explained the basic beliefs and why they are important. I will focus some more on the issues you mention, especially, our purpose and the meaning of life. That's something I haven't addressed directly yet. 


Edited by New Muslimah, 06 January 2013 - 01:53 AM.


#16 Younes

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 04:21 AM

Salam,

 

He does understand, but I'm just not sure it's the same type of understanding as the others. But as I said, he is still young enough to be influenced by me, so I was thinking on similar lines to your suggestion. My question would be, would he need to say the shahadah? I assume that he would, so should I just ask him to repeat after me?

 

Wa 'alaikumu as-salamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

Yes, get him to say the shahadah. Yes, tell him what it means in English and tell him that by doing so he becomes Muslim.



#17 New Muslimah

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 12:41 AM

Salam alaikum wa rahmatuallahi wa barakatuh,

 

Alhamdulillah! I have some amazing news I'm just bursting to share!!! I can't contain my excitement or my emotions right now!!

 

My youngest son Aiden said his shahadah on Sunday! He had no hesitation whatsoever! He is proud of it. He told all his friends on Monday. Fortunately they are not really old enough to hold prejudices and there are muslim boys and girls in his class anyway, so he shouldn't have too many problems. 

 

But that's not the end of the good news!

 

My eldest son Finlay, told me this evening that he is also going to accept Islam! He hasn't said the shahadah yet. I don't know exactly when he plans to either. I don't want to pressure him. But I am delighted!! I am also in complete shock. Last month I cried because of some of the things he said (he doesn't know that). But now, it's incredible. I can't put it into words. It's a total change. I never expected it. But Finlay did apologise to me for what he said, and this evening he said he was sorry once again. 

 

It seems that a muslim friend of his convinced him he should do it! But I also think giving him the opportunity to try out salat these past days has had an impact too. I know he was moved by it. I don't know what his friend said to him, but I'd love to know. He'll be welcome in my home any time! It's a terrible cliche but I'm just waiting for the alarm clock to go off.....I can't believe it's happening.

 

On the downside, my other son Kai, hasn't taken either of these two things well. Especially his older brother who I think he saw as an ally. It does upset me a little that he thinks as he does, but I have told him that I will respect his decision. I've told him I will not force him and I don't want him to be upset or uncomfortable. I've also asked him to talk to me about anything he wants and not to keep any feelings bottled up. I do worry about him, because I feel he is working himself up about nothing. Given some time I pray that things will be alright.  


Edited by New Muslimah, 09 January 2013 - 12:43 AM.


#18 Younes

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Posted 09 January 2013 - 01:22 AM

Wa 'alaikumu as-salamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

That's great news. May Allah bless you and your family, and increase you in guidance.



#19 New Muslimah

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Posted 14 January 2013 - 12:57 PM

Salam alaikum

 

I just thought I would let you know that Finlay has taken his shahadah. Alhamduillah!

 

I took him and Aiden to the Masjid on Saturday to say it because I felt that would have greater benefit for them. Aiden was asked to repeat his when he was there.  

 

Finlay was given the name Mohamed Islam and Aiden was given the name Abdul Hakim. I have no idea if those are the names they are supposed to use now. 

 

The only downside is my other son. He has developed an increasingly bad attitude and I'm not going to tolerate it much longer. I don't know what to do with him. My daughter is progressively showing more interest so I am not concerned about her. 



#20 ala'adin

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Posted 14 January 2013 - 01:40 PM

Wa'alaykum Asalaam Masahallah that is excellent news. They do not have to change their names if they would would prefer to keep their birth names. again let it be a choice that they make. All the best and May Allah make it easy for you and your family.