Jump to content
Islamic Forum
Absolute truth

How Prophet Muhammad Reprimanded Children

Recommended Posts

 

  How Prophet Muhammad Reprimanded Children                    

Go away!”

Stop it, you nuisance!”

Is it not considered ‘normal’ in most societal circles today for

adults to address minor children in such a tone, and with derogatory

words?

Parents, teachers, and other caregivers can lose their patience with

the naughty mischiefs of children very quickly, especially if these

children are extremely intelligent, curious, energetic, bold,

self-confident and spirited.

kids%20playing.jpg

Children are a big blessing of God. Having children and raising them

righteously lays the foundation of a stable extended family structure.

Whilst most of us are well-aware of and regularly exhort the great

rights of parents in Islam, we tend to overlook the fact that little

children are also born with certain Islamic rights that we have

to fulfill as an obligation. Even the unseen, unheard fetus in the womb

has rights, which can delay the distribution of inheritance, as well as

affect the rulings regarding divorce in Islam.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) handled many situations

involving the antics and natural tendencies of infants and minor

children with exemplary patience and good-naturedness.

As God has commanded us in the Quran to emulate Prophet Muhammad as a

ticket to earning His ultimate pleasure with us in the Hereafter, we

should see how the Prophet corrected or reprimanded small children

whenever they did something that could, in the modern world, severely

test the patience and tolerance of most stressed-out, quick-to-snap

adults.

Tolerance for Infant Messes

Babies under the age of one are cuddly, chubby and adorable; bundles

of joy that everyone loves to hold, kiss, hug, coo over and carry

around.

That is, until they do something smelly and leaky in their diaper.

As soon as that happens, the hitherto adoring adult (especially a

male one) who is holding them, immediately scrunches up their nose in

disgust and hands them over to the mother or nanny for cleanup.

However, this was not what the Prophet did in such a situation. He

would often take infants in his lap, even though in that era there were

no leak-proof diapers!

Narrated Aisha:

“A boy was brought to the Prophet to do tahnik for him, but the boy urinated on him, whereupon the Prophet had water poured on the place of urine.” (Al-Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad refrained from expressing disgust or immediately

denying a newborn baby his lap even when the baby urinated on his

clothes! This indicates his exemplarily high level of tolerance for

babies’ natural phases, as it is normal for newborns to urinate often.

The lesson for us in this habit of Prophet Muhammad is to not get

irritated at the natural, physical messes that babies tend to make (such

as nose emissions, excreta, or regurgitated milk), even if the mess

gets on our clothes. We should also help clean up the mess without

considering it beneath our social dignity to do so.

Tolerating Natural Toddler Antics

Babies grow older to become active and energetic toddlers (known

nowadays as ‘preschoolers’), who love climbing on to the laps and backs

of adults and playing “rough house”.

It is well known that the Prophet not just allowed children in this age-range inside his masjid

during obligatory congregational prayers, but also patiently tolerated

their antics during prayers, even if these antics caused noise or

disturbance.

Reported by Abdullah ibn Shaddad from his father:

“The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came out to lead us in either maghrib or ‘isha’ one night, and he was carrying Hassan or Husain. The Messenger of Allah came forward and put (the child) down, then he said takbir and started to pray. During the prayer, he prostrated and made his prostration long.

My father said: “I raised my head and I saw the child on the back of

the Messenger of Allah whilst he was prostrating, so I returned to my

prostration.”

When the Messenger of Allah finished praying, the people said:

“O Messenger of Allah, during your prayer you prostrated for so long

that we thought something had happened or that you were receiving

Revelation.”

He said:

Nothing at all happened, but my son was riding on my back and I did not want to disturb him until he had had enough. (An-Nisa’i)

This hadith is another great example of how tolerant the

Prophet was regarding children’s naughtiness. Imagine a small child in

the age-range 2-4 (who can be carried easily) climbing on to the back of

a masjid’s imam during prostration nowadays. What do you think his reaction would be?

Yet, Prophet Muhammad lengthened his prostration just to let

the child continue his enjoyment and innocent play, hereby causing some

concern and undoubtedly a bit of chagrin to the worshippers praying

behind him in the congregation.

Using His Hands Gently to Reprimand

Children love physical displays of affection, and like being touched

in a positive manner. Instead of subjecting them to long monologues and

lectures to correct their mistakes, physically removing them from harm

is more effective.

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

“Dates used to be brought to Allah’s Messenger immediately after

being plucked. Different persons would bring their dates till a big heap

collected (in front of the Prophet). Once Al-Hassan and Al-Husain were

playing with these dates, one of them took a date and put it in his

mouth. Allah’s Messenger looked at him and took it out from his mouth

and said: “Don’t you know that Muhammad’s offspring do not eat what is

given in charity?” (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet taking the date out of his grandson’s mouth himself

whilst giving him a short explanation of the reason, deployed the most

effective strategy of quickly resolving the situation. Which small child

would willingly spit a tasty, sweet date out from their mouth

themselves?

Most parents today, however, keep shouting at a small child to not

touch an object or to stay away from a dangerous area, all the while

being ignored by the child. They then snap and give the child a harsh

scolding in front of everyone for not listening to them.

The lesson from this hadith about the correct thing to do in

such a situation is for an adult to get up quickly and physically

remove the small child from harm, warning them about the reason in brief

words.

The hadith below also corroborates this strategy:

Anas said:

“Allah’s messenger was one of the best of men in character. One day,

he sent me to do something, and I said: “I swear by Allah that I will

not go”. But in my heart I felt that I should go to do what the Prophet

of Allah had commanded me. So I went out and came upon some boys who

were playing in the street. All of a sudden Allah’s Messenger, who had

come up behind, caught me by the back of the neck, and when I looked at

him, he was laughing. He said: “Go where I ordered you, little Anas”. I

replied: “Yes, I am going, messenger of Allah!” (Abu Dawud)

Prophet Muhammad used a combination of physical touch and gentle

reprimanding words to make little Anas realize his forgetfulness. The

Prophet knew that it is natural for a little boy to get distracted from

an errand by other children’s street games.

This hadith also indicates that when a child passes the

toddler stage, it is permissible to train them to do light, easy tasks

for adults, but to remember that it is normal for him or her to resist

immediate obedience and to get distracted by other children’s play.

Explaining Concisely for Correction

 

 

 

 

 

 

the Prophet would gently and concisely correct them and explain…

When a child becomes older i.e. beyond the age of 6-7, he or she

reaches the age of mentally understanding what is right and what is

wrong. When he encountered such a child doing something the wrong way,

the Prophet would gently and concisely correct them and explain to them

how to do it right, without scolding harshly or making them feel

humiliated in front of others.

Umar ibn Abu Salamah reported:

“I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah, and as my hand used to wander around in the dish, he said to me once:

“Mention Allah’s Name (i.e., say Bismillah), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.”  (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Little children have short attention spans, high energy levels, and

an extremely curious nature due to which they want to explore everything

in the world, most of which is still very new to them. However, we can

misinterpret their natural actions and reactions to situations in a

negative manner, unless we proactively practice patience with their

behavior without belittling, rebuking or reprimanding them harshly and

unjustly.

Because little children are a sacred trust from God, we should remind

ourselves not to be harsh with them. God is not even writing their

“sins” yet, even if they deliberately break a precious piece of

crockery, or touch anything in our cupboards or drawers that we have

kept strictly off limits.

As parents, if we lose patience with our children and treat them

wrong, we should immediately and sincerely repent for it before Allah.

Parents who do not regret nor repent for the wrongs they committed

towards their children when the latter were young, weak and dependent

upon them, end up being faced with resentful and aloof offspring in

their old age, because their little ones grew up with disturbing

childhood memories that morphed into a deep grudge over the years.

By regularly reading and studying the Prophet’s loving and mild

behavior with children, we can prevent ourselves from treating children

in a manner that could displease God and detriment our relationship with

them in the long term.

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-Islam/about-muhammad/461751-how-prophet-muhammad-reprimanded-children.html

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds

As a parent I find this very helpful. I think folllowing these story about the way Muhammad (PBUH) treated children will make the bonds between my two sons and myself stronger. Thank you for posting this.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalamu Alaykum

 

The one who delivered the Risalah to us sallallahu alayhi wassallam never ever spanked a child or any other person. This is a fact. He never ever even got angry or upset when something "bad" was done to him personally. He only got angry when the Deen of Allah was violated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Similar Content

    • By siddar
      I am a devout Christian, I fear that the Christian God doesn't very clearly lay out the circumstances when God's power takes over  after man, after suffering and trying his best to pray for wisdom, even by his enemy-- trying to curb the urge to pray for and wish death upon the enemies who continue to persecute him day and night, despite having had no sin of instigation,  is failed by his body, his judgment, and his love for himself.  That that man sacrifices with tears enough to wash the feet of his own mother, that that man has been driven insane by pain, that that man has been chased to the ends of his life's blessings and opportunities, because of pure malice by the enemy....
      When is God's power invoked according to the Q'uran? 
       
      I am a torture victim for 9 years now, but my entire life has been one of slavery by the u.s. enslaved by psychotronics,  made to brak the teachings of my mother despite my will to be good because of the licentious permissiveness that was ingrained by the jealousy of my American peers to destroy me in the end. My heart cries for healing from my many wouds and my soul cries to be released do death plenty of times, and indeed plenty of times I have faced many deaths, by drowning in the ocean, by overdose, by satellite attacks, by insanity due to incarceration of many months... but the Lord, Allah you may call him, does not see it fit to release me from my earthly bonds. 
      INSTEAD, GOD, as a joke to end all jokes, has cursed me with the power to control the very air  , the sun, the gravitational forces, the mind of animals... as a top secret U.S. project. a tortured experiment... because I have been cursed with extreme sixth sense and  abilities not natural to MAN in general.
      And  as if to suffer alone were not bac enough, The U.S. and my home country the Philippines have enjoined countless torturers and scientists around the world to experiment cruelly on my family in their sad hopes of trying to duplicate me for their own misbegotten sciences.
       
      To the non believer, I give you to comfort of thinking I am speaking in parables, but to those who know of me and those who believe that some are chosen and singled out by the CREATOR to carry immense burdens of power and liability,
       
      MAy I introduce myself -- the Man with no sin, the MAn with the power of an angels, the man so deeply hidden in the PENTAGON and CIA's archives , a man from a wealthy family once blessed until the Philippines as a country colluded to murder my father and destroy our billion-dollar fortune in 1983....
       
      My name is Antonio Tan Llenado. my grandfather was a Chinese-Japanese TAN family member.  My other Grandfather is from a family of Governors who once ruled the northern half of the Philippines.  our names all but erased by the corruption of the country a was born into and the country that I was forced into.
      IF Q'uran can tell me why I was born so, with the power of an angel and the shackles worthy of a godling-- so strong that only a god could destroy these sufferings, then I will consecrate myself to Q'uran.
       
      Tell me, At what point does God take over after man has battled with his own suffering to no avail? When will GOD raise his power to avenge the wrongs against a man with no sin.
    • By sanajamal
      From the very beginning, historians and writers of Seerah have differed on the date of birth of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. There are disagreements even for the ‘year’ of birth of Prophet Muhammadصلى الله عليه وسلم so, naturally we have different views regarding his ‘month’ of birth and ‘date’ of birth. Considering the fact that a wide majority of the historians have mentioned the ‘month’ to be Rabi ul awwal, one can safely assume that the month was Rabi ul awwal. Furthermore, it is proven from Authentic Narrations that his ‘day’ of birth was ‘Monday’.
      Abu Qatada Ansari رضى الله عنه reported that Allah's Messenger صلى االه عليه وسلمwas asked about fasting on Monday, whereupon he said: It is (the day) when I was born and revelation was sent down to me.
      (Sahih Al Bukhari – Kitab As Sawm)
      The different views regarding the date of birth are:
      2nd Rabi ul Awwal: Ibn Abd al-Barr
      5th Rabi ul Awwal: Ameer ud din 
      8th Rabi ul Awwal: Ibn al Qayyim, ibn e Hazm, Az Zuhri , Ibn e Dihya
      9th Rabi ul Awwal : Muhammad Suleman Mansurpuri, Mubarakpuri , Shibli Nomani, Mahmud Pasha Falaki, Akbar Shah Najeeb Abadi, Moeen ud din Ahmed Nadvi, Abul Kalam Azad
      12th Rabi ul Awwal: Tabari, ibn e Khuldoon , Dr hameedullah , ibn e hisham, ‘Allama Abu’l-Hasan ‘Ali ibn Muhammad al- Mawardi, ibn e ishaaq 
      10th Rabi ul Awwal: Abul Fida, Abu Jaafar al Baaqir, Al Waqadi , Al Sha’bi– 10
      17th Rabi ul Awwal: Shia view; and they also believe that it was Friday 
      22nd Rabi ul Awwal: Also attributed to ibn e Hazm
      10th Muharram: Abdul Qadir Jilani
      Now, how can one find the true date out of the numerous opinions? The only sure-shot information that we have is that it was the Monday and the month Rabi ul Awwal. Few biographers of the Seerah have mentioned that a person named Mahmud Pasha Falki proved through astronomical calculations that the Monday falls on 9th Rabi ul Awwal in the year when Rasulullah was born. People who have written biographies in the past century have accepted his research and they normally quote the date of birth to be 9th Rabi ul Awwal. Furthermore, Allama Qastalani writes that the people of Zaych are in agreement that the eighth of Rabi ul Awwal was the Monday. 
      The presence of such disagreements on the exact day of his birth proves that birthdays were not important to the Arabs. Arabs were very well known for their great memorization skills. They used know the lineage of their families and other Arabs by heart; they used to know hundreds of verses of poetry by heart, a great feat of memorization. Documentation wasn’t very common. Hence, it is very difficult to conclude when exactly Rasulullah was born. 
       
      Why we cannot find the Exact Date Even from Astronomical Calculations
      The pagan Arabs would play with the calendar and amend it according to their wishes; which is referred to as Nasi. The pagan Arabs practiced Nasi in two ways. 
      1- Whenever it suited them, they would declare a prohibited month to be an ordinary month in which fighting, robbery and murder in retaliation were lawful for them. Then they would declare an ordinary month to be a prohibited month instead of this month in order to make up for the deficiency caused in the number of the prohibited months. Earlier writers of Seerah like Ibn e Hisham and commentators like Mujahid quoted that one year the Arab made Muharram as Halal, and they would consider Safar to be sacred (Haram), and the next year they’ll take Muharram to be sacred. They did so because three sacred months Dhul-Hijj, Dhul-Q’ada and Muharram were consecutive. `Abd al-Raĥmān ibn Zayd ibn Aslam, another leading commentator says that they would make two Safar one year and two Muharram next year. 
      2- The other way of Nasi was the addition of a month in order to harmonize the lunar year to the solar year so that the Hajj of Prophet Muhammad should always fall in the same season and they should be saved from the botheration and inconveniences that are experienced by its observance according to the lunar year. Due to the lunar calendar, the months shifted 11 days earlier each successive year, thus the people wished to perform the hajj (pilgrimage) ceremony - which coincided with different seasons - not on certain days of Dhu al-Hijjah, but on other days and months when the weather was mild and trade environment was suitable.  In order to ensure this, they used the nasi (adjustment) method. So, the way out was to add a month after every three years. In this way Haj was observed for 36 years on dates other than the actual dates. Then in the thirty seventh year it was again observed on the 9th and 10th of Zil-Hajjah, as they should have actually fallen according to the lunar calendar. It so happened that on the occasion when the Holy Prophet performed Hujjatul-Wida' (Farewell Haj). These dates by rotation coincided with the actual dates of Haj according to the lunar calendar
      Abu Bakra reported that (in the Farewell Address) Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: Time has completed a cycle and come to the state of the day when Allah created the heavens and the earth. The year is constituted of twelve months, of which four are sacred; three of them consecutive, viz. Dhu'l-Qa'da, Dhu'l- Hijja and Muharram, and also Rajab the month of Mudar which comes between Jumada and Sha'ban.
      (Sahih Muslim - Al-Kitab Al-Qasama wa'l-Muharaba wa'l-Qisas wa'l-Diyat)
      Qur’an also mentions this act of delaying months in Surah At Tawbah. 
      Nasi (Postponing of the sacred month) is only an addition in unbelief, wherewith those who disbelieve are led astray, violating it one year and keeping it sacred another, that they may agree in the number (of months) that Allah has made sacred, and thus violate what Allah has made sacred; the evil of their doings is made fair-seeming to them; and Allah does not guide the unbelieving people.
      (Surah At Tawbah 9:37)
      Moreover, before the annunciation of prophet-hood, there was not any official calendar in force in the Arab land. The Arabs were accustomed to changing and altering the months as they pleased, and hence, sometimes they would make thirteen and fourteen months in one year. It is mentioned in Diya’ al-Qur’an that in a lunar year one extra intercalary month would be added to the existing twelve months. It is quite clear that before the annunciation of prophethood, such additions were made, however, we can never know in which specific year or years additions were made. (Diya’ al-Ummat, Justice Shaykh Muhammad Karam Shah al- Azhari (ra), Diya’ al-Qur’an, volume 1, page 202, note 60.)
       
      Conclusion
      Considering the above mentioned facts, we can never be sure about the date of birth of Prophet Muhammad. The exact birthdate of the Prophet Muhammad has always been the subject of dispute amongst classical scholars. Nothing authentic has been reported in the standard source books of tradition, and this fact in itself shows that it was not held in the significance that later authorities did. The astronomical researches are invalid considering the practice of Nasi. The only way we could have been absolutely sure about it was if Prophet Muhammad would have told us that himself, which he actually didn’t. If we consider this fact we would be forced to leave all bid’aat (innovations) attached with 12th of Rabi ul Awwal. 
       
      Why 12th Rabiulawwal is famous?
      1- The two famous books authors of Seerah Ibn e Hisham and Ibn e Ishaaq both have mentioned it to be 12thRabi ul Awwal. 
      2- Perhaps those who decided to start milad took this day:  This also explains why Ibn ʿAbd al-Barr, writing before the conception of the mawlid in the fifth century of the hijrah, stated that the most common opinion amongst historians was in fact the 8th of Rabīʿ al-Awwal, and yet Ibn Kathīr, writing three centuries later, after the mawlid had been introduced as a public festival, stated that the 12th of Rabīʿ al-Awwal was the most common opinion. Earlier historians like Ibn e S’ad didn’t even put 12 Rabi ul Awwal in the list of candidates for Birthday of Prophet Muhammad. In the earlier days 8th Rabi ul Awwal used to be accepted as the date of Birth. 
       
      Date of Death
      What we know for sure is that day of his death was ‘Monday’, as for the date we have different narrations. The famous one is 12th rabiulawwal. 
      Narrated Hisham's father: Aisha said, "I went to Abu Bakr (during his fatal illness) and he asked me, 'In how many garments was the Prophet shrouded?' She replied, 'In three Sahuliya pieces of white cloth of cotton, and there was neither a shirt nor a turban among them.' Abu Bakr further asked her, 'On which day did the Prophet die?' She replied, 'He died on Monday.' He asked, 'What is today?' She replied, 'Today is Monday.' He added, 'I hope I shall die sometime between this morning and tonight.' Then he looked at a garment that he was wearing during his illness and it had some stains of saffron. Then he said, 'Wash this garment of mine and add two more garments and shroud me in them.' I said, 'This is worn out.' He said, 'A living person has more right to wear new clothes than a dead one; the shroud is only for the body's pus.' He did not die till it was the night of Tuesday and was buried before the morning." 
      (Bukhari – Kitab al Janaiz)
      13th Rabi ul Awwal: Muhammad Suleman Mansurpure 
      12th Rabi ul Awwal: Mubarakpuri 
      2nd Rabi ul Awwal: Ibn e Hajr
      1st Rabi ul Awwal: Ibn e Jareer
      28th Safar: Sh’ia Historians (They also mention the day to be Monday)
      From the books of Hadith we can be sure that the year Prophet Muhammad died: 
      9th Dhil Hijjah was Friday (Bukhari – Prophetic Commentary on the Qur’an) 
      “….It was Friday and the Prophet was standing at 'Arafat (i.e. the Day of Hajj)" 
      (Narrated by Umar bin Al-Khattab)
      We have four possibilities: 
      1- If Dhil Hijjah, Muharram and Safar all were of 30 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Wednesday and Mondays fall on 6th, 13th and so on. 
      2- If Dhil Hijjah, Muharram and Safar all were of 29 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Sunday and Mondays fall on 2nd, 9th, 16th and so on. 
      3- If any two months were of 29 days and one of 30 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Monday and Mondays fall on 1st, 8th, 15th and so on. 
      4- If any two months were of 30 days and one of 29 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Monday and Mondays fall on 7th, 14th and so on. 
      As for 28th Safar:
      1- If Dhil Hijjah and Muharram are 30 days it is Sunday.
      2- If Dhil HIjjah and Muharram are 29 days it is Friday
      3- If one is 29 and the other is 30 it is Saturday. 
       
    • By M-AliKhan
      "None of you will have faith till he loves for his brother, what he loves for himself" - Bukhari Book 2, Hadith 12
       
      Many Scholars (including An-Nawawi) interpret the word "Brother" here as brother in humanity
       
      Therefore I always treat my fellow human being with respect, whether he's muslim or not because that is how I would want people to
      treat me. I know that the Prophet peace be upon Him used to treat non muslims with utmost respect. Even when they disrespected Him,
      He would return their rudeness with kindness.
       
      So please don't look at you brother in humanity with animosity. But look at them with compassion and mercy like our Beloved Prophet did,
      sallallahu wa aleyhi wa sallam
    • By abdulmajeed3
      Just the thought of performing Umrah energizes the devotee, but one should bear in mind that performing Umrah is an arduous task. Many people wonder ‘What is the best age to perform Umrah’, the age at which an individual can make the most out of these spiritual journeys. Many Ulema believe that it is better to perform Hajj and Umrah in young age. Youth? Juggling between responsibilities, overburdened with studies, carefree about finances, religious affairs… so not ‘their thing’, how could young age be the best age to perform Umrah?
       
      Read More: http://blog.dawntravels.com/best-age-performing-umrah/
       
×