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How Prophet Muhammad Reprimanded Children

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  How Prophet Muhammad Reprimanded Children                    

Go away!”

Stop it, you nuisance!”

Is it not considered ‘normal’ in most societal circles today for

adults to address minor children in such a tone, and with derogatory

words?

Parents, teachers, and other caregivers can lose their patience with

the naughty mischiefs of children very quickly, especially if these

children are extremely intelligent, curious, energetic, bold,

self-confident and spirited.

kids%20playing.jpg

Children are a big blessing of God. Having children and raising them

righteously lays the foundation of a stable extended family structure.

Whilst most of us are well-aware of and regularly exhort the great

rights of parents in Islam, we tend to overlook the fact that little

children are also born with certain Islamic rights that we have

to fulfill as an obligation. Even the unseen, unheard fetus in the womb

has rights, which can delay the distribution of inheritance, as well as

affect the rulings regarding divorce in Islam.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) handled many situations

involving the antics and natural tendencies of infants and minor

children with exemplary patience and good-naturedness.

As God has commanded us in the Quran to emulate Prophet Muhammad as a

ticket to earning His ultimate pleasure with us in the Hereafter, we

should see how the Prophet corrected or reprimanded small children

whenever they did something that could, in the modern world, severely

test the patience and tolerance of most stressed-out, quick-to-snap

adults.

Tolerance for Infant Messes

Babies under the age of one are cuddly, chubby and adorable; bundles

of joy that everyone loves to hold, kiss, hug, coo over and carry

around.

That is, until they do something smelly and leaky in their diaper.

As soon as that happens, the hitherto adoring adult (especially a

male one) who is holding them, immediately scrunches up their nose in

disgust and hands them over to the mother or nanny for cleanup.

However, this was not what the Prophet did in such a situation. He

would often take infants in his lap, even though in that era there were

no leak-proof diapers!

Narrated Aisha:

“A boy was brought to the Prophet to do tahnik for him, but the boy urinated on him, whereupon the Prophet had water poured on the place of urine.” (Al-Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad refrained from expressing disgust or immediately

denying a newborn baby his lap even when the baby urinated on his

clothes! This indicates his exemplarily high level of tolerance for

babies’ natural phases, as it is normal for newborns to urinate often.

The lesson for us in this habit of Prophet Muhammad is to not get

irritated at the natural, physical messes that babies tend to make (such

as nose emissions, excreta, or regurgitated milk), even if the mess

gets on our clothes. We should also help clean up the mess without

considering it beneath our social dignity to do so.

Tolerating Natural Toddler Antics

Babies grow older to become active and energetic toddlers (known

nowadays as ‘preschoolers’), who love climbing on to the laps and backs

of adults and playing “rough house”.

It is well known that the Prophet not just allowed children in this age-range inside his masjid

during obligatory congregational prayers, but also patiently tolerated

their antics during prayers, even if these antics caused noise or

disturbance.

Reported by Abdullah ibn Shaddad from his father:

“The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came out to lead us in either maghrib or ‘isha’ one night, and he was carrying Hassan or Husain. The Messenger of Allah came forward and put (the child) down, then he said takbir and started to pray. During the prayer, he prostrated and made his prostration long.

My father said: “I raised my head and I saw the child on the back of

the Messenger of Allah whilst he was prostrating, so I returned to my

prostration.”

When the Messenger of Allah finished praying, the people said:

“O Messenger of Allah, during your prayer you prostrated for so long

that we thought something had happened or that you were receiving

Revelation.”

He said:

Nothing at all happened, but my son was riding on my back and I did not want to disturb him until he had had enough. (An-Nisa’i)

This hadith is another great example of how tolerant the

Prophet was regarding children’s naughtiness. Imagine a small child in

the age-range 2-4 (who can be carried easily) climbing on to the back of

a masjid’s imam during prostration nowadays. What do you think his reaction would be?

Yet, Prophet Muhammad lengthened his prostration just to let

the child continue his enjoyment and innocent play, hereby causing some

concern and undoubtedly a bit of chagrin to the worshippers praying

behind him in the congregation.

Using His Hands Gently to Reprimand

Children love physical displays of affection, and like being touched

in a positive manner. Instead of subjecting them to long monologues and

lectures to correct their mistakes, physically removing them from harm

is more effective.

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

“Dates used to be brought to Allah’s Messenger immediately after

being plucked. Different persons would bring their dates till a big heap

collected (in front of the Prophet). Once Al-Hassan and Al-Husain were

playing with these dates, one of them took a date and put it in his

mouth. Allah’s Messenger looked at him and took it out from his mouth

and said: “Don’t you know that Muhammad’s offspring do not eat what is

given in charity?” (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet taking the date out of his grandson’s mouth himself

whilst giving him a short explanation of the reason, deployed the most

effective strategy of quickly resolving the situation. Which small child

would willingly spit a tasty, sweet date out from their mouth

themselves?

Most parents today, however, keep shouting at a small child to not

touch an object or to stay away from a dangerous area, all the while

being ignored by the child. They then snap and give the child a harsh

scolding in front of everyone for not listening to them.

The lesson from this hadith about the correct thing to do in

such a situation is for an adult to get up quickly and physically

remove the small child from harm, warning them about the reason in brief

words.

The hadith below also corroborates this strategy:

Anas said:

“Allah’s messenger was one of the best of men in character. One day,

he sent me to do something, and I said: “I swear by Allah that I will

not go”. But in my heart I felt that I should go to do what the Prophet

of Allah had commanded me. So I went out and came upon some boys who

were playing in the street. All of a sudden Allah’s Messenger, who had

come up behind, caught me by the back of the neck, and when I looked at

him, he was laughing. He said: “Go where I ordered you, little Anas”. I

replied: “Yes, I am going, messenger of Allah!” (Abu Dawud)

Prophet Muhammad used a combination of physical touch and gentle

reprimanding words to make little Anas realize his forgetfulness. The

Prophet knew that it is natural for a little boy to get distracted from

an errand by other children’s street games.

This hadith also indicates that when a child passes the

toddler stage, it is permissible to train them to do light, easy tasks

for adults, but to remember that it is normal for him or her to resist

immediate obedience and to get distracted by other children’s play.

Explaining Concisely for Correction

 

 

 

 

 

 

the Prophet would gently and concisely correct them and explain…

When a child becomes older i.e. beyond the age of 6-7, he or she

reaches the age of mentally understanding what is right and what is

wrong. When he encountered such a child doing something the wrong way,

the Prophet would gently and concisely correct them and explain to them

how to do it right, without scolding harshly or making them feel

humiliated in front of others.

Umar ibn Abu Salamah reported:

“I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah, and as my hand used to wander around in the dish, he said to me once:

“Mention Allah’s Name (i.e., say Bismillah), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.”  (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Little children have short attention spans, high energy levels, and

an extremely curious nature due to which they want to explore everything

in the world, most of which is still very new to them. However, we can

misinterpret their natural actions and reactions to situations in a

negative manner, unless we proactively practice patience with their

behavior without belittling, rebuking or reprimanding them harshly and

unjustly.

Because little children are a sacred trust from God, we should remind

ourselves not to be harsh with them. God is not even writing their

“sins” yet, even if they deliberately break a precious piece of

crockery, or touch anything in our cupboards or drawers that we have

kept strictly off limits.

As parents, if we lose patience with our children and treat them

wrong, we should immediately and sincerely repent for it before Allah.

Parents who do not regret nor repent for the wrongs they committed

towards their children when the latter were young, weak and dependent

upon them, end up being faced with resentful and aloof offspring in

their old age, because their little ones grew up with disturbing

childhood memories that morphed into a deep grudge over the years.

By regularly reading and studying the Prophet’s loving and mild

behavior with children, we can prevent ourselves from treating children

in a manner that could displease God and detriment our relationship with

them in the long term.

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-Islam/about-muhammad/461751-how-prophet-muhammad-reprimanded-children.html

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As a parent I find this very helpful. I think folllowing these story about the way Muhammad (PBUH) treated children will make the bonds between my two sons and myself stronger. Thank you for posting this.

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Assalamu Alaykum

 

The one who delivered the Risalah to us sallallahu alayhi wassallam never ever spanked a child or any other person. This is a fact. He never ever even got angry or upset when something "bad" was done to him personally. He only got angry when the Deen of Allah was violated.

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      13th Rabi ul Awwal: Muhammad Suleman Mansurpure 
      12th Rabi ul Awwal: Mubarakpuri 
      2nd Rabi ul Awwal: Ibn e Hajr
      1st Rabi ul Awwal: Ibn e Jareer
      28th Safar: Sh’ia Historians (They also mention the day to be Monday)
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      1- If Dhil Hijjah, Muharram and Safar all were of 30 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Wednesday and Mondays fall on 6th, 13th and so on. 
      2- If Dhil Hijjah, Muharram and Safar all were of 29 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Sunday and Mondays fall on 2nd, 9th, 16th and so on. 
      3- If any two months were of 29 days and one of 30 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Monday and Mondays fall on 1st, 8th, 15th and so on. 
      4- If any two months were of 30 days and one of 29 days, Rabi ul Awwal starts on Monday and Mondays fall on 7th, 14th and so on. 
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