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Depression As A Convert

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Assalamu aleikum! I'm a very fresh revert alhamdulillah. However, I have one problem that bothers me a lot.

I love reading about Islam and so on. But after I converted, I feel more depressed and less "perfect". I've never been popular or anything, and never had a real friend until now, so having someone who can handle me is good.

However, I've gradually become more sensitive and able to show emotions; which is both good and bad. I'm more fascinated by the concept of love, but I have had some symptoms of depression and I have suicide thoughts which are more frequent when I do something I'm embarrassed of (it can be related to Islam and trying express my faith as well as something bad..) I also think this might be related to the fact that I live in an anti-islamic and atheistic area, and that my family is against Islam and seem to make fun of my belief and I don't want to talk to them about it. And there's also a sister I got to talk to whom increased my social anxiety and confused me so much that my faith decreased again -so I don't want to talk to other sisters a lot because of her...

And I've only been to a masjid once, and I'm not keen to go to a masjid in my city because the area they're located in is unsafe.

I want to move badly, but I can't afford it now. My problem is this depression that no one really knows about, and I sometimes feel there's something missing. And I almost cry when I think about my depression, my suicide thoughts and how my parents will react because they're atheists and try to tell my that other religions are better than Islam. And I can't go to a psychologist either because of bad experiences.

Help me?

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PropellerAds

The first and most important thing is that you must NOT take any suicidal thoughts seriously. What is the ratio of infinity to seventy?

 

Now the ratio of infinity to seven hundred?

 

Now to seven hundred million?

 

Now seven hundred googolplex?

 

Right. It's still just as much literally zero as it is when you're comparing it it seventy, isn't it?

 

And seventy is roughly the number of years in a mortal lifetime.

 

Keep heaven on the mind. Never, ever ever entertain a suicidal thought. Ever. Even if it means having to go to a therapist. Priorities!

 

Maybe you should focus on making more friends. There are dating sites which include a feature for that as well as one for actual dating. Probably if you searched around the internet enough you could even find a Muslim-specific site for it. And hey, we're here for you in any case, aren't we? The masjid is also a good place to be. There are online services if you look around.

 

Give your family time. They love you, I'm sure. Until then watch or read something really funny. You'll never think it'll help until you try it and it does.

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Wa alaykum assalam,

 

I am not an expert or anything, so please forgive me before hand. I'm also a relatively new revert (this past June for me) who struggles at times because the area I live in is very unwilling to accept differences and such. It can be hard, that is for sure. I am sorry that another sister soured your belief...but please understand that most of us aren't like that (at least I hope I'm not). Be willing to get to know people, whether here or local to you. Not all people are bad (one of my better friends is an atheist who actually congratulated me on my reversion because it was what made me feel right).

 

And keep trying to be a good daughter for your parents. Even when they treat you like dirt. I know that is hard because I have first hand experience. But pray for them and show them that you are a better and stronger person because of your faith. And who knows, they might come around. I'd even recommend a book by G. Willow Wilson, entitled The Butterfly Masjid. It details her life, from being in an atheist family to being a Muslim woman. It's a wonderful read. :)

 

And never give up on hope. You have support, even if it is just us here at times, you have it.

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Wa 'alaikumu as-salamu

 

You most likely think of suicidal thoughts out of habit. Whenever you get sad, depressed or embarrassed and you get suicidal thoughts, tell yourself that you accept the feeling but you do not want to kill yourself, and stop thinking about suicide. Push it out of your mind the second you get the thought.

 

Try to become more self-centered, i.e. do not care that much about others. This will help you with adversity. It seems to me that you are sensitive person, which is alright. However, you need to develop a little bit of tough skin. 

 

Try to think more rationally when you get emotional. If your parents make fun of Islam, just accept the situation as it is. I know it's hard be made fun of, but the thing that I have found that makes humans the most anxious and sad is when they face something that they were not expecting. However, in your case, you know in advance there are some bad things you will face. Just accept it and don't care. I know it's hard, but it can be done.

 

Try to look at the life of some of the Prophets like Noah (pbuh) who lived among his people for 950 years and they mocked him throughout his Prophethood. Look at Abraham (pbuh) whose father told him that he would kill Abraham (pbuh) if he did not get away from him after Abraham (pbuh) talked to him about Allah and the father's false idols. Look at those people who are going through tough times around in the world. Inshaa Allah, it will help to put some of your troubles into perspective. It will help on an emotional level, too, as you will, inshaa Allah, that your situation is not that bad. 

 

Lastly, try to change the situation. Your situation won't change by itself. I don't know what it is that you want to do, but figure it and then go do it.

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You might feel depressed for no reason sometimes. Just accept it. The body does not always feel good. However, in your case, I think you are sad due to the situation you are in, but this depression could also be due to you feeling down for no reason if you have a natural tendency for that. Just accept it. It's hard, but try to hang in there.

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Wa Alaikum As-Salam,

If you are lonely, you could get married (possibly to another revert) to remove depression.


Also, you can join this forum and participate to remove your loneliness.

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Sister

 

try and read this,

 

where do you live, maybe there are some members here who may live or know the community in the area and could therefore assist

 

 

It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:

 

 

‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi

 

 

(O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’ - but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.”

Edited by ala'adin

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Remember what it says in the scripture: There is no suffering that any believer undergoes which does not expiate us for some sin and increase our bounty in Paradise, right down to the very thorn that pricks us.

Edited by IAmZamzam

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Assalamualaikum,
I think your problem is you have been too long to be an introvert person. You should try to open yourself. This world is big so why not try to make friends? Telling friends about your life will lift your burden and make your life happier that will instantly solve your depression problem. But if you have friends, always remember to TAKE and GIVE, not only take but not wanting to give because that make friendship broken.
I know you are confused being new convert but number one priority in your life should be Allah only, not figure or anything. Because why bothers being convert if you are focusing on someone else besides of Allah? As muslim, you should know that your very reason to live in this world is for Allah not for pleasing another humans/creatures or any other worldly desires.
And killing yourself won't make you any happier or free of problem. Because you will be tortured FOREVER in hereafter. I hope you will take note on that.
Wassalam

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