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My approach to faith had never been one for yearning. My outlook concluded that, " I would live my life in the same manner, be it I had a certain faith, or not ". Be a good person, that’s what I 'believed' in.

I had moved into a new neighborhood when I was eight years old and a neighborhood peer asked, “are you Christian"? I thought for a moment, "I am, what I am”. I immediately answered, "No". I went home, confused and asked my older sister and her friend what it meant to be a Christian. I have Christian relatives, however, my immediate family did not prescribe to any particular teaching. Instead, my father conveyed a message of humility and instilled in me, equality for all persons.

When I dabbled in the occult as a youngster, my father confronted me. He told me it was a phase; he too had asked many fundamental questions of existence. In this, and through time, he informed me of why his children were raised in a home without religion. My parents wanted to see their children reach personal conclusions, with as little coercion as possible; and so they sent me unto the path with the certainty of their love.

Growing up many adults saw me as being very bright minded, yet, I lacked a focused sense of motivation. So... I had a motivation issue. But... I've always been a deep thinker and as the years went by I became increasingly steady in the practice of meditation. By the methods of practice, I had arrived to the teachings of the 'Pure Land Sutras'. As my practice developed it took the form of nothing I would call 'religion' but instead, ' a practice of mindfulness and compassion '.

I went off to university after high school. Two sisters lived across the hall, whom I did not meet for the first month(Ramadan). Eventually we met. They had deduced my imperfections, but never gave me a hard time, and accepted me as a friend. 

I had continued my practice; 'mindfulness and compassion'. There was a time of coming to awareness. Slowly, I united ‘where’ and ‘who’ I was. Over the course of a few weeks I became conscious of political, social, and scientific, philosophies that I never felt I 'had'. Here I was, realizing my individual, along with its complex rationalities. There came unto me a feeling of dread, that people had deceived me, and an intense feeling of being misled by popular culture. We all have the answers to our questions, but we must look into our hearts with intention. This pseudo-enlightening, caused great grief. I spiraled into a phase where everything appeared to be 'out of control'.

One Night I had made a cup of tea, knocked on the door across the hall and one of the two sisters let me in. Our conversation quickly came to that of our faith. I described the tenets of Buddhism, and heard the five pillars of Islam. As we boiled down the conversation we came to concepts of nature, and the passage of time. As I was struggling to formulate and 'Islamic perspective' of science, the sister looked at me, and with the truth she could muster said, "I don't know, but there are answers for you. They exist".

And so my life continued... Still attempting to find order within this burning illumination; I fell into a life of detachment, rarely catching a glimpse of the sun. One day, upon entering my bedroom, the shades on the window were raised only enough to allow a gleaming light (from the sun) to reflect off of the windowsill, and into my eyes. I thought, "This light, is breathtaking, it must be wonderful outside". 
A few days later, from my window, reflected a most surreal light. I felt this urge, " Go! Make haste outside, walk on the earth ". I walked outside. It was a beautiful day in spring. Flowers and leaves seemed vibrantly colored; the main feature was life, and it appeared out of all places. The air was soft and supple. The wind was dancing with delicate orbs. The world was resonating, "This is my earth". As I walked inside, gravity forced me to the light. I remember immediately recalling the sister saying, "There are answers for you". Here, I felt inspired to read Qur’an. I immediately went to the bookstore to obtain the text of Qur’an.
While still struggling to find order in my chaos, I had been unto the straight path for some time. The child I was still lacked the zeal of life. I made my appeal to our god, Most High. I wished only to be heard; with true sincerity, may I find the will to live.

An immediate insight 
What is: ' to do with a purpose ' ? ---- I said "intention".
What is: ' to convey with intention ' ? ---- I said " will ".
Say: ' Does god reveal his creation with intention '? ---- I said " yea ".
So : ' God be thy will. And indeed, so is he for all of creation. ' ---- I said " Glory to God

Edited by dot

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So now you remembered your ""mission" and took what you think is the correct book, the bible?

I wonder why you selected Islam for a religion in your profile, and why are you posting in this section?

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I took the correct of the two in my hands.




Sorry for any confusion.


Edited by antarctican

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antarctican, Name the Book...


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While reading your post I was looking for what exactly drew you to God and caused you to become a muslim. Can you tell me?

I was growing in a catholic family. My mom was not inetersted in God at all and my father was an atheist but grandma was catholic and my aunt was very zealous for God as a catholic. Her son became a priest. Fro a very early age I wanted God in my life. I tried to do all I could to get closer to Him. I attended the church meetings (all kinds of meetings, even a prayer nightwatch from midinight to 6 am), I attended the church several days a week, I praed at home, I read religious books. But Go was seemed to be so far away.

Then when I was 19 I met people who told me to ask Jesus to come into my heart. I prayed something like that: dear Jesus, thank you for my dying for my sins, thank You that you paid for my sin and I am now free and you made me a child of God, thank You for Your amazing love that saved me and reconciled me to the Father. Please come into my life, change me and make me all you want me to be, talk to me, manifest in my life, make Yourself real to me, transform me so that I could fulfil your will in my life and live for you.

After I prayed that prayer Jesus entered into my heart and that changed everything. I became a child of God, I was saved, I was born again from above. God became real, God became personal. He started to guide me, to talk to me, to correct me, to teach me. He manifested in my life. He made miracles. He healed my body. He is my love my Freind. He is a reality. I received the supernatura gift of speaking in angelic tongues (a prayer tongue which I never learned but now I can pray for all kinds of problems when I dont know how to pray in my native language and Holy Spirit gives this heavenly language to me).

Only Jesus in me enables me to live a pure holy life. He transforms me so that I can submit to His will and get closer to Him and fulfil His purpose for my life. God is a real powerful God.

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