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How Much More Will The World Destroy Me?

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Hello!

I'm almost ruined mentally and it's only getting worse.

I'm a new Muslim in great trouble.

My family don't like Islam and seem to mock my beliefs in god. Not fun, and they don't know that it makes me sad and how much it hurts.

My country is not made for new Muslims. I haven't found a Masjid that suits my needs yet, and the major Islamic organisation seems to have a controversial history behind itself. And there's no proper translation of the Quran that's directly from arabic to my language.

Stupid me thought a few days ago that someone would help me to find a good Masjid. I was wrong. That person, from my country, is now only giving me nightmares.

Also, I saw something I'm almost 100% sure was about me. It made me think of the girl who tried to ruin my friendship with the only person I trust completely. Not fun as I'm an introvert who has been a victim of backbiting in the past.

Also, I don't have a job, and therefore seem to not have any legal rights to control how I want to live my live my life in my dad's eyes. I've been shouted at for refusing to eat certain foods (haram food) and refusing to go to the beach (I dress modestly but I don't wear hijab)

And talking about jobs; I have no energy to search for a halal job that I'm qualified to do right now because I'm not feeling well and I'm trying to learn about Islam in a fun way to get happier. And I managed to fail high school because and my parents are not happy with the fact that I didn't sign up for uni.

I also don't pray because I'm so afraid about if my parents will see me pray. I'm sure they'll get angry.

So; I'm not feeling well. Rather I'm extremely sad all the time and wonder why I have to go through all this. It's by no means fun and I don't know what to do. I feel like the world is against me. And I've tried to seek help at the doctor's, but then my parents started to ask me what the doctor said even though they've no right to do that.

I can't handle this negativity anymore. I'm so sad all the time and I don't like being that. Help me!

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Sister which country are you living in, maybe there is a sister on the forum who lives close by who you could meet talk things through.

 

My advice is to make dua, from the bottom of your heart. Wake up in the middle of the night and pray to Allah, make dua in sujood (while prostrating on the floor) and remember that Allah says in the Quran "indeed with hardship there comes ease"

Edited by ala'adin

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Dear sister as a revert also I completely understand how lonely the first few months can be as you feel different from your family and friends, you feel like you have no Muslims to turn to but really as Allah says in the quran if your persist with patience he will reward you. You know in the quran there is a verse that says 'verily in the rememberance of Allah do hearts find rest'. Isn't this a beautiful reminder. Don't get caught up in negative feelings, take it easy on yourself, Allah didn't intend to make Islam difficult for us. 

 

What is your language maybe I know a website that has a translation in your language as the quran has been translated into most languages. 

 

Try not to talk about religion with your family, that is the stance I have taken. 

 

When there is pork for dinner just don't eat it. You don't have to say its because of religion, say you read something about the health effects of pork and it has made you not want to eat it. 

 

Please concentrate on your studies because education is important for a good job, and if you rely on your parents financially then in the future you will need a good job so that you become financially independent. 

 

Pray when your parents are not at home or pray at night time. 

 

Remember negative thoughts come from shaytan and you need to make yourself strong and bring yourself closer to Allah so that you can reject these thoughts. 

 

And what do you mean by you havent found a masjid that suits your needs? 

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The problem is not your reversion to Islam. The real problem is that you keep failing yourself and your parents.

Your parents will never support your reversion as long as you keep failing, no uni, no job, no life. You even consider your health none of their business! (weird).

 

You need to believe in yourself and your abilities first. Love your parents and respect them at all times. Show them that Islam can make a better person out of you. Succeed. Wake up. Be strong, for everyone's sake.

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You should never despair as long as you are trying to follow Islam. So, shrug off the negativity. You will not sin if Your parents are forcing you to go unIslamic. Just laugh away when they mock Islam and say they need to learn more about Islam. If they are Christian, you can quote Bible to show the similarities. All in all, never pass time by being sad when Islam is there. Show them Islam makes you very happy, disciplined and respectful.

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As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

The only real solutions to your problem are to find work, ignore your parents in a suitable manner or get married. Marriage offers you financial independence from your parents. If you get married, it doesn't mean that you have to sit at home doing nothing in case you don't want to. You can still pursue your goals while married.

 

Your English is quite good. Read the Qur'an in English.

 

You should pray. Your parents can't be always around you, can they? You can close your room and pray. 

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Dear sister, Assalamualaikum

 

I must admit that I could not in the very least feel what you are going through. I was fortunate enough to be born in a Muslim family. I have no knowledge of what to do in this matter, because I come from a somewhat Muslim country. However I am only writing to let you know that I hear your pain and I do understand the difficulty that you are experiencing. 

 

It saddens me to hear the troubles that many people like yourself have to go through just because you believe in the truth. However my father always reminded me that Allah SWT would give the hardest test to the very best of believers. He would not put you in this situation if He did not think you may pull through. It means that Allah SWT believe in you and so do I. 

 

Also you would need to remember that doubt and disbelieve come from the temptation of the syaitan. Pay no mind to those who have the means in their heart to bring us down, believe in Allah SWT for there is none other then Him who is a better friends, protector, helper, listener and giver. the deeds that humans and djinn could manage is nothing compared to what Allah SWT could give in return. 

 

And always know that even though I know nothing of you, you will always have my prayers and many of us who listen. For the truth of Islam we shall stand together Insyaallah. 

 

P/S: Apologize to admin for this is a bit off topic, hope you would not delete this but if you must then you must.

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As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh

 

The only real solutions to your problem are to find work, ignore your parents in a suitable manner or get married. Marriage offers you financial independence from your parents. If you get married, it doesn't mean that you have to sit at home doing nothing in case you don't want to. You can still pursue your goals while married.

 

Your English is quite good. Read the Qur'an in English.

 

You should pray. Your parents can't be always around you, can they? You can close your room and pray. 

Thanks, brother.

I am really looking forward to getting married when I have the opportunity to do so inshallah. Though, it will not solve anything that I struggle with at the moment, but subahanallah I've seen so many good examples of married couples.

 

When it comes to the Quran: I'm reading it in English and intend to read it in another language inshallah. However, what bothers me is that there's no translation directly from Arabic to my language available. And I also want it to be written by a Muslim, so yeah...

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Sister which country are you living in, maybe there is a sister on the forum who lives close by who you could meet talk things through.

My advice is to make dua, from the bottom of your heart. Wake up in the middle of the night and pray to Allah, make dua in sujood (while prostrating on the floor) and remember that Allah says in the Quran "indeed with hardship there comes ease"

Thanks, but I don't want to reveal which country I'm from, and I have tried to get in touch with people from my country before. With no success, though.the last time I tried (which made me really angry, and was part of the reason why I wrote this post) a person asked me if I wanted to have sex. And this person claimed to be Muslim. Better to give up and not try again as long as I feel like this..

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That you are hurt is understandable, but dont give up. Private message some of the sisters on the forum and seek advice through them. InshA that route would be better for you and you will avoid any dodgy muslim men. Dnt give up, have faith in Allah that he will make a way for you.

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Hello!

Assalamualaikum

We muslims greet at each other with salam, right? Remember that next time you are starting a discussion/post

 

My country is not made for new Muslims. I haven't found a Masjid that suits my needs yet, and the major Islamic organisation seems to have a controversial history behind itself. And there's no proper translation of the Quran that's directly from arabic to my language.

If you know that your country is not muslim country then you realize that you have no many choices. Since you are powerless now, just use whatever available in your country or try to minimalize it for example read Quran in English. Nothing is perfect in this world but our job is to make the best out of it. Even muslims are allowed to eat haram food if they are starving. So I think it is okay to attend nearest Masjid available or join/seek help from the organization as long as they are practicing Islam in the right direction regardless of a LITTLE difference they have with your ideal.

 

Also, I saw something I'm almost 100% sure was about me. It made me think of the girl who tried to ruin my friendship with the only person I trust completely.

Excuse me, how was the girl trying to "ruin" your friendship with "the only person you trust completely"? Can you share your story here? Because sometimes you missunderstand the intention of a good person, moreover if the girl is muslim. Oh yeah, I have that experience a long time ago so I know.

Then again, if you have "the only person you trust completely" so why bother to share your story here? Where is that "only person you trust completely"? Can't that "only person you trust completely" solve your problem? Since you rely heavily on that person, that person must be very good, right? Who is that "only person you trust completely" anyway? Ulema? Sheikh? Imam? If not, than trusting that person completely is something arguable.

What I am trying to tell you is if you trust one person that much as if your world is depend on that person, then you are at a big loss. Nobody's perfect and who knows that the person trying to mislead you from the REAL Islamic teachings. If it comes to life, don't depend on someone heavily because when that person is gone, you have nothing else in this world. Try to make as many friends as you can. Listen to as many people as you can. In this world, the voice of truth does not come only from you or "the only person you trust completely", but from Quran, As-Sunnah, and ummah

 

I can't handle this negativity anymore. I'm so sad all the time and I don't like being that. Help me!

At least you still have a decent home, clothes, food, even internet connection. You have to be grateful for that. Have you ever seen people in Palestine, Syria, Afghan, Egypt, or Iraq now? They are WAY WAY WAY WORSE than you right now. You are not the most suffering person on this earth. If you want to be helped then READ and LISTEN to other people that have tried to help you on this forum or outside. If you live in your shell (aka being introvert) forever, then you will forever suffer. Join the ummah and Insha Allah your life will be better.

Wassalam

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