Jump to content
Islamic Forum
female

Do I Leave My Mother?

Recommended Posts

Assalamu Alaykum

 

 I live with my mother and younger sister. Should I leave my mother because she is forcing me to take off my hijab, and doesn't let me work? That sounds strange, but believe it. I tell her I live with her to help my sister get out of her difficulties, since she has mental difficulties. I do not need her, I tell her not to put such conditions on me. 

 

I pay for my expenses. Now I want to leave her, she has three sons and a house in her country, and apartment here. However, I do not want to leave my little sister. My brothers do not understand her mental difficulties and are mean to her for her incapacities. I can get a job without her, a halal job. Of course, I can also leave U.S. because I wouldn't live here alone.

 

I hope I do not sound egoistic. I need a resolution from physical abuse, oppression, etc...

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PropellerAds

I want to reconcile with my family  to be safe, and not be a run a way. I am very obedient to my family. It would be very hard for me to commit such an act. Believe me, this physical abuse by someone is really hurting me. I have bruises all over me. Nobody cares about it, they told me. Cops will put you into homless shelter. Leaving my mother would resolve it. But how do I leave my little sister to this? 

 

I can become a doctor in a halal way and have a very good fture, but this is ruining me to the point that I cannot take it anymore. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If she is hitting you to the degree that it causes you bruises, you can call the police. They should arrest her. That should give her some time to re-evaluate the way she treats you. But first find a job to be able to support yourself before reporting her to the authorities. If she ever hits you again, call the police again, everytime, until she cools down and stop it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wa alaykum as salaam

 

It is a very difficult situation sister. How is she being treated for her mental illness? Is she taking medication? I am sure Allah is seeing how patient you are to stay in a situation like this but of course it is wrong that she is hitting you. But I think we need to understand more about her mental illness because sometimes it can be the cause of a person's violence - that still doesn't mean you should have to go through what you are going through.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As salaamu 'alaikum, can you possibly move in as a roommate with other girls, if you do decide to leave? I don't think its a good idea to leave the U.S. Does your mom abuse your sister? You have to call the cops on her. Hopefully she will get the message after she's visited jail a couple of times.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 But I think we need to understand more about her mental illness because sometimes it can be the cause of a person's violence

 

I think the sister said that its her little sister that has mental problems, not her mother.

But, on second thought.. perhaps the mother has problems too?

After all, Its not natural for a mother to abuse her daughter that way.

Did you try to speak to an elder in your family? perhaps they can convince her to see a psychiatrist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Islam pay high importance to parents but if your mother is forcing from doing good deeds then Islam teaches special code of conduct regarding refusing to her will. However, a huge responsibility lies on your shoulder of your younger sister. If she is in tender age then amount of responsibility will be greater and Allah (SWT) will reward you for your sacrifice. As you are sacrificing for the faith of another Muslim, may Allah bless you with peace and harmony.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes the best way to go about dealing with this is going to a person that your mother responds to, if that is an elder in the family or whoever and explain the situation to them and get that person to sepak with your mother. If that fails then report it, do whatever is in your capability to handle the situation in a way that keeps the family together. May Allah make it easy for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I think the sister said that its her little sister that has mental problems, not her mother.

But, on second thought.. perhaps the mother has problems too?

People vary in degrees. Most psychologists would not give my little sister or mother a mental disorder.They got personality disorders which is not a mental disorder. Anyone can be a psychiatrist, even my little sister can obtain a PHd in Florida and be a psychologist, so they then classify by their points of views, ways of thinking, and biases. This really makes them unqualified psychologists. 

 

This is a very civil world. A world where any capriciousness is a mental disorder you poison yourself for. MIND AND A WAY OF THINKING IS DELUSION SINCE OUR ENVIRONMENT SHAPED WHAT WE THINK. She is not disabled, her or my sister. My mother has a personality disorder which is cynicism, extreme cynicism. 

 

My little sister. Well, hopefully I get a job and get her into technical school and educate her, as well as protect her Islamically. 

 

 

slam pay high importance to parents but if your mother is forcing from doing good deeds then Islam teaches special code of conduct regarding refusing to her will. However, a huge responsibility lies on your shoulder of your younger sister. If she is in tender age then amount of responsibility will be greater and Allah (SWT) will reward you for your sacrifice. As you are sacrificing for the faith of another Muslim, may Allah bless you with peace and harmony.

Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×