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Assalamualaikum. I wanted some advise from all of you with a personal problem. I'm 32 years old male. I got married 2 months back to a 26 year old. My wife is Stubborn and dominative. She wants to live an extravagant life style regardless of how much I can afford. My take home salary is about 1,50,000 rupees (of which more than 1,00,000 goes for house construction and future investments, another 30,000 for household expenses like grocery, electricity, bills etc.). She is being rude to me lately and fighting with me (with support of their parents) that I need to pay her 25,000 per month for her own expenses. She is back in her home town for more than a month now and says she would come back only if I pay this money on monthly basis and also listen to everything else she says. Please advise what is right for me to do and how should I deal with her

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PropellerAds

Wa alaikum assalamo brother

 

Divorce her. The sooner the better. Its better to leave her now, before she gets pregnant and kids come to life and suffer.

Good wives don't desert their husbands after 1 month of marriage over money. She doesn't seem fit to be a wife.

Find yourself a better wife, one who supports her husband and stand by him, not stand over him.

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Leaving the house over this is not right. And being stubborn is not good.. But generally speaking, a husband should provide for his wife in proportion to his income, and since your salary is very good, it is suggested that you be generous with your wife. 

Just keep that in mind for your future wife insha'Allah.

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I don't mean to sound disrespectful , but this sounds more like a financial arrangement than a loving marriage . If love is there you can work it out , If not , then divorce and move on .

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wa alaykum as salaam 

 

it is normal that a woman has some money for herself but leaving the house over such an issue and getting her parents involved seems over the top. She should have tried to discuss this with you before blowing it out of proportion. I agree with Aligarr it seems like a financial arrangement, like she won't come back unless you give her money. I suggest you try talk with her one last time. You say she wants to live an extravagant lifestyle and you must explain to her that your income does not cater for such desires. Tell her you are willing to compromise that if she wants some luxuries now and then that it is ok but all the time is not right. If she is not willing to compromise with you then I agree that you should divorce her. What is the point in being with someone who wants to argue about money. I am sure you can find a more grateful woman.

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wa alykom assalam, brother

 

although no one ca judge any case without hearing from both sides. but in case, Just in the same way Islam shows:

 

1- admonish here, though the good and lovely way (days/weeks)

2- Showing that you are not interested in her femininity (ignore her femininity part)....

3- punish her,  financially, light hitting in case if she just physically aggressively reacted to you

 

 

4- during or after the previous stages, you both ask for a family judjing, where a wise man from family and a counter part from here family she choose should sit to find a solution.

 

5- state Judging

 

6- divorce

 

may Allah make the best for you both...amen

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Wa alaykum as-salaam...

No one has come up with the solution of explaining her and making her understand.

 

You all could just say divorce her, why? because it is easy for a muslim man to remarry not a muslim woman.

A muslim woman is expected to bear a harsh,cruel man. Some suffer so many hardships and yet a man cannot bear a woman's tantrums for two months. People suggest divorce.

 

Please Brother, I REQUEST you to read my post.

The above posts say that she married for money, then why does a man marry a woman,for her beauty, right.

 

She has been brought up in a different environment, perhaps. Discuss it with her. Ask her:

  • to specifically list every item she wants to purchase.
  • tell her to lower the amount and negotiate.
  • to be considerate.

The parents should leave the matter alone. Specify it sternly. And if she does not agree, give her time. 

 

 

 

Divorce is a big word for a woman and her family. 

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Matthew 19 New International Version (NIV)

 

Divorce

19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

 

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

 

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

 

Ephesians 5:28-33New International Version (NIV)

 

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 

Respect has to be earned and is not demanded. Respect should be mutual. With respect comes love. If you love and respect a person then their faults are nothing. When love and respect have gone or never existed then their faults seem to grow out of all proportion until all you can see is the negative. Two people make a marriage and partnership they must communicate with each other in order to sort out their differences. The solution to your problems lies with you, talk to each other and explain why you feel your wife is being unreasonable. Hope you sort things out.

 

Blessings

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I wonder if she would have married this man if she know beforehand he would refuse her payment...True love is self giving not just taking.

 

I know most Muslims dislike St Paul but I ask you only to be open to his wisdom regarding love:

 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Edited by Gods Servant

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“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

I love this, it's one of my favourite passages in the Bible, if one could have a favourite, :)

 

It does appear to be at times that marriage is more of a contract between two people which in Islam the matter of love seems secondary. As many marriages are still arranged by families (I know this from experience) between people who really do not know each other then love isn't an important aspect. How one could marry a person without love just in the hope that love may grow is a mystery to me. Still there's always love at first sight. ;) but I would not trust that, it could be confused with lust.

 

Blessings

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“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

I love this, it's one of my favourite passages in the Bible, if one could have a favourite, :)

 

It does appear to be at times that marriage is more of a contract between two people which in Islam the matter of love seems secondary. As many marriages are still arranged by families (I know this from experience) between people who really do not know each other then love isn't an important aspect. How one could marry a person without love just in the hope that love may grow is a mystery to me. Still there's always love at first sight. ;) but I would not trust that, it could be confused with lust.

 

Blessings

It’s one of my favourite passages too my dear sister. I refer to it every now and then to remind myself of how I should think, speak and act toward my wife.

 

The good news is the “modern” Muslims are starting to place love first before contract. Check out this beautiful music clip.

 

[media]

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