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Would You Let Your Husband Marry Again?

Would you let your husband marry another woman while he is married to you or would you marry a brother who is already has one or more wives?  

130 members have voted

  1. 1. Would you let your husband marry another woman while he is married to you or would you marry a brother who is already has one or more wives?

    • I would let him marry again
      32
    • I wouldn't let him marry again
      63
    • I would marry a brother who already has only 1 wife
      5
    • I would marry a brother who already has only 2 wives
      0
    • I would marry a brother who already has 3 wives
      5
    • I have no clue
      24


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but sQ sharing wives is not even allowed in Islam :D

 

i.e u r saying if the wife had several husbands??

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PropellerAds

I'm saying that it's more against the nature of men to share your spouse than it is against the nature of women. Even kafir men have mulitple wives and in those cultures it is accepted as well, but it would never be accepted for women to have multiple husbands would it? Men are more jealous than women I would say.

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i c u r point and yes men are jealous too :D but i would say women are moreeeeeee jealous than men and i can give you so many examples and some are already cited here on the board in this thread :D

 

i really really wouldn't be cool with it assuming it were allowed or i were not muslim.. its just out right disrespect man! but then the ladies here on the thread can say the same thing but it is permissible in Islam so what can you ? let me also add just because it is, doesnt mean you have to :D

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*Earlier Statements Retracted*

Edited by *Muslima*

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You have all these sisters throwing a mini tantrum because some of the brothers wouldn’t mind marrying a second wife…but like hello people, do you think guys could actually bare talkative, emotional wives? I’d probably go mad! :D

 

Let the brothers dream sisters…the reality is none of them are rich enough to support more than one wife in this society. :laugh:

 

Brothers go ahead and dream….it is free after all! :D

 

Wa Alaykum salam

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:D

very interesting comments...i persoannyl would be sad if i was wife number 2....one wife is enough i think...i do not know anybody with 2 or more wives...how can you treat them fairly? everyone has feelings and when these feelings are hurt thats when trouble starts? untill you actually ae in the situation i think it is safe to know that we cannot expericne the feelings....if the husband wanted to really have a second wife on some basis, then i guess we cannot really stop him. if you cannot manage one wife, then why have two? there are mnay sides and opinions to this question...

 

:D

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...the reality is none of them are rich enough to...
i would re-think this statement if i were you :D

 

i do stand by my earlier argument that just cause its halal doesn't mean you have to do it :D however CE i think you are right, i dont know how many people in real life will do this :D

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Salam,

Sorry didn't voted because didn't saw that option.............its that..............i know he will never ever do this so no worries at all :biggrin:

Takecare all,with prayers

Wasalam

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:D

 

i think some of the sisters here are overreacting a bit. the brothers have just said they might consider it. i know i would feel second best to the other wife, but that doesnt mean you have to start saying the brothers think of women as cars/objects. i sincerely doubt any of them feel this way.

 

i doubt any of the bro's could actually go through with having a polygamous relationship, especially in this day and age, i dont think they could support all the wives equally.

 

Brothers go ahead and dream….it is free after all!  :D

 

Wa Alaykum salam

 

LOL sis! good one! :D

Edited by Afghan_Hijabi

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:D

 

Lol the sisters have no confidence in us or most men for that matter  :biggrin:

 

nah, its not that bro, just hard to be fair when you've got more than one wife. eventually, you're going to prefer one wife over the other. its almost unavoidable.

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nah, its not that bro, just hard to be fair when you've got more than one wife. eventually, you're going to prefer one wife over the other. its almost unavoidable.

 

my sentiments exactly!

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aslam w alikum,

i,m starting to find you very offensive,

 

:D brother slave

 

Well now, we are even. I think your comments about women are just as offensive and I think that you should rethink before speak. Jealopusly is just as common among men as it is in women. Really, I think you're reiterating what scholars say, "women are jealous by nature and blah, blah, blah."

 

may i remind you the brothers on this forum are not like that, we are not like the kufar or fasiq men!, dont forget we have mothers and sisters and we know we are accountable to Allah for our intentions. so remember that before you start degrading us.

 

Really? I have seen the polygamy thread for men, and it sounds like they consider polygamy an integral part of Islam, when it's not. It was an integral part of ancient Semetic, African, Asian, European cultures. At the beginning, Islam was among the few that restrcited polygamy, now today, Islam is among the few that allow polygamy! Polygamy is NOT part of Islam and should not be used for play. It is silly to ask a single man how much women will he marry, polygamy is not a leisurely subject and don't think that your wife is going to be happy and supportive if you decide to take on another wife.

 

 

so me where in the quran Allah says get your self a slave?

 

Firstly, I never claimed that Allah commanded people to enslave people, but it is apparent to everybody that Allah allows slavery amd he never said to discontinue slavery, you cannot deny it.

 

Anyways, hust because He allowed slavery doesn't mean we should practice it. He allowed (Qital) war, but that doesn't mean we have to war against every country. Just because He allowed polygamy doesn't mean we have to keep that tradition alive!

 

please sister just cos your father got married in a certain way dont mean you can take that on other males, were not all like that, i.m sure the brothers if they wanted to take another wife would let the first wife know before hand, just like the sahaba Ali (ra) did (although he didnt goahead).

 

It's not just my father, many men have married for the same reasons, the same way. Perhaps only 0.00000000001 of those men do it to help a widow, the rest are :D.

 

:D  sis carla/A'isha, you certainly are an open minded person. i think we can learn alot from your statement,

 

You mean narrow mindedness? Lolz, again since you're a man, you won't understand until you trod in our shoes. And sister carla, what are you doing? :D

 

i know i would feel second best to the other wife, but that doesnt mean you have to start saying the brothers think of women as cars/objects.

 

Not all do, but many men consider women like objects, and perhaps you don't see it. You're only 14 right?

 

One more thing, why the heck is everyone talking about polygamy? Polygamy is not part of Islam!!

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:D

 

shoot! all this fuss and we are only talking about it haha.. sisters got some next issues or what :D

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Assalaamu Alaikum,

 

Slavery is dead, now we just have to wait for polygamy to suffer the same fate. 

 

May Allah forgive you.

 

I can give you another interpretation of the verses if you like... 

 

Please do, just make sure it is not your own interpretation.

 

Im with sister muslimah 100% people need to get with the times and stop trying to live 1500 years ago.

 

Islam is for all time so how dare you say that what was valid then is not valid now.

 

Polygamy is not part of Islam, I don't know why there is so many people defending polygamy like it was something imposed by God. :D

 

It was something that Allah allowed, so how can you deny this fact? T deny any part of the Qur'aan or Saheeh ahadeeth is Kufr.

 

polygamy IS out of date.

 

Who are you to abrogate something that Allah has allowed? And make Haram what Allah has made Halal.

 

I dont think I would be so thrilled about it, but yes I would, as it is allowed in Islam and I will not go against anything that is allowed in Islam. :D

 

Mash Allah, I am so pleased to know that you will not go against anything in Islam. It is one thing not to be too happy about it or not to want to enter into a plurial marriage, and this is ok, but to deny something which is part of Islam is sick, and it is Kufr.

 

May Allah guide us all.

 

Was-Salaamu Alaikum,

 

Abu Suhaylah.

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Asalamu Alaykum wr wb

 

Woooooooooow some of you sister have jut OVER REACTED ALOT! Subhanallah!

 

Its part of the woman nature to be Jealous as even the wives of the Prophet were, but this is something Allah has allowed for the brothers, so why not? It would be hard to expect if the brother married another sister after we’ve been together for less then a year or so. But hay at the end of the day I think I’d be happy for him to marry another wife, after all I’ll have someone to share the cooking and cleaning with hehehe and if I become ill or something she can always help me out I.e. look after the children etc

 

And sometimes it would be nice to be on your own in peace and quite, get ride of the husband for a while hehehe instead concentrate on your studying your deen, while the husband is with the other wife.

 

I think a lot of sister wouldn’t mind there husband taking another wife, its due to the family and friends. Whom keep telling them no no no you should be the only wife!

 

At the end of the day where here to please Allah right?...right sisters?

 

And Allah Knows Best!

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right?...right sisters?
this means you amani, sQ, sunshinzz, sparklzz :laugh:

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:D

 

and brother ahm if you think simply " reasuring" ur wife will make it acceptable for you to take another wife then you have a lot to learn about women ...obviously you are single.

 

What did I say? [at]_[at]

 

Right one aspect is that how some sisters are defining their "worth". It apears they define their worth by how their husbands see them. If he wants to marry another wife then she is now 1/2 a woman? Is a woman's worth defined by her relationship with a man? Germaine Greer mentioned how in the West women's lives seem to revolve around a man, dressing and behaving for the male gaze...I forget the name of the book, bu in it she praised segregated cultures where there is no free-mixing.

 

If a sister doesn't want to be in that situation, then she can divorce. I mean I wouldn't be too happy if my daughter was in a similar situation.

 

If I had the money then I would take on more wives. before you shout and scream, I wouldn't marry someone younger or "more beautiful" than my first wife (unless my wife wants me too... :D LOL ). I have come across sisters who are have say skin disorders, terminally ill and other physical issues. There are other sisters who have to look after their parents. If you say to a guy he is only allowed ONE wife then he will be more "choosy" and all these sisters will left "on the shelf".

 

In the UK there are few widows with young children to look after. What you will find in the coming years though, a lot of educated and practising sisters in their 30s never married. Polygamy would suit them because they don't have to be available full time and can get on with their education or work. I guess it comes down to the feeling that she is not worth a "full husband" so she is less of a person. As Muslims is this how we judge the worth of a person?

 

:D

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Asalamu Alaykum

 

ya rabbi sisters...has not our creator made polygamy lawful to the believing men? why do some try and justify otherwise? do you not see the sin it can cause trying to change what Allah (swt) has made lawful?

 

Your husband is like your secret treasure...treat him like he should be treaten and he should do the same to his wife...if you feel that quarrel shall arise if he re-marries know that jealousy is within human nature but do not utter what will add to your sin...

 

I wouldn't mind if my husband re-married for a valuable reason...what Allah (swt) has made lawful i shall abide willingly.

 

furthermore....yo sisters stop ganging up on the poor brothers...i can almost hear their bitter cries :D

 

keep up the fantasies brother...let your imagination run wild :D ....just don't lose hold of reality :biggrin:

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Brothers go ahead and dream….it is free after all!  :D

 

:D funny.

 

 

In the UK there are few widows with young children to look after.  What you will find in the coming years though, a lot of educated and practising sisters in their 30s never married.  Polygamy would suit them because they don't have to be available full time and can get on with their education or work.  I guess it comes down to the feeling that she is not worth a "full husband" so she is less of a person.  As Muslims is this how we judge the worth of a person?

 

on spot bro... good point.

 

 

 

Many of u don't want yr husbands to have 2nd wife for personal reasons, thats fine. Disappointing but fine.

 

But then r some who climbing the feminist bandwagon.... in the process denying what Quran says.

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this means you amani, sQ, sunshinzz, sparklzz  :laugh:

 

 

What? What about us?

 

Anyways, what do my dear sisters mean by saying that polygamy is not a part of Islam? It's in the qur'an isn't it? That means it's a part of Islam. And also it is not outdated, is the qur'an outdated? I don't think so.

 

4:3. And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan­girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.

 

 

:D

Edited by sis Qassab

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:D

 

What did I say? [at]_[at]

 

I think she got you confused with brother Slave heh

 

he said

 

notice this is a common characteristic of the females, but reasurance from the husband would be suffice wouldnt you agree

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:D

the thing about polygamy is that there has to be reasons, or if you are like really rich, buy each wife a house, pay the monthly payments of the houses, spend equal time with each of them, dont do any injustice, basically there are a lot of responsibilities, and as sis Qassab said that it say in the quran:

 

4:3. And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan­girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.

 

so if u think u cant handle it then keep with just one as suggested here^.

for me personally i wouldnt be able to deal with four wives cuz thats just tooooooo much responsibility, i will just stick with one. :D

:D

Edited by Mohammad ibn Naeem

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Guest amani

:D

 

SISTERS whether you like it for yourself or not, you cant trash it :D we must watch what we say, we cant say its outdated etc, it is PERMITTED for the brothers!!!!

 

 

oh yeh i also read somewhere that a woman is permitted in her marriage contract to state she wont be happy etc with her hubby marrying a second wife :D

hehehe thats what i plan to do now :D

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Guest amani

:D

 

i also found sometihng, which shows, we might not like it for ourselves, but we cant think it as bad or look at it as bad

 

The society should also cast a second glance at the issue of polygamy in the light of Islaamic regulations. For how can we help in solving the problems of these unmarried women if we do not have a positive look at polygamy? It is mutual sharing of love, compassion, kindness and justice without being unjust to the first wife. The Prophet said, "Whoever has two wives and inclines to one of them at the expense of the other, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with his side broken." (Ahmad and others)

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