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Ibn_Khaldun

Inter-racial Marriages

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salam

 

trust me to be after you sister laila22!

 

race shouldnt be an issue, but it gets scary for family to accept some one from different race because of the reasons everyone has stated. espcially for girls parents are just a bit more protective over them.

 

Marriage isnt about only two people it is about marriage between two families. SO it is important that the families get along as this will only make the relationship more stronger between the couple.

 

Do i make sense?

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PropellerAds

I'm English and my wife is Indonesian, and we've been happily married for over seven years. :D

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Assalamu Alykum

 

Marriage isnt about only two people it is about marriage between two families. SO it is important that the families get along as this will only make the relationship more stronger between the couple.

 

SubhanAllah thats very true sister, but ppl dont always tend to think of it like that...

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I think it would be great so long as the person didn't put his culture and religion on hold around the spouse :D

It would be a great learning experience. I think I would only suggest things to my daughters, as I'm not a forceful person and I think parents are there to guide. Children need to make their decisions on their own imo it's their life.

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salam,

 

When parents get involved emotionally on how the family will talk about it and what kind of an effect it will have on them is horrible because they do not realise that the child might give into a marriage that she is not happy with. She only gives in because of the emotional blackmail that was used on her. And of course brothers and sister a marriage with out a full consent is labelled as FORCE marriages.

 

Parents are here only to guide and respect their children. Of course no parents would want their children unhappy but they tend to get too upset and emotional if the child chooses someone from another race. It is something that they parents need to understand that in this country (western country) children are meeting many people through work, study and other means. As long as they can keep the relationship halal (I mean dating, and other western activity) there is nothing wrong. Especially if the child came clean with the parents and said that “I have found some…….please meet the parents of the bride/groom….�…you know the usual way it should happen. And this I believe that the family should learn to accept, because when they start resisting like that, that’s when things go wrong because the relationship between parent and child gets all rocky.

 

Both families should realize that, the way they act and get along with the new family in law has great effect on THEIR child’s life. As they are equally important to make a marriage work as they individual are too.

 

I hear everyone saying “Islam says this and that� brothers and sisters Islam is logical we know that, but our parents only tend to use Islam when it is OK for them.

 

Truly how many of you would go against your family to get married to someone that you want??? Would you marry someone who is ok in looks, prays five times, fasts, earns ok, has similar interest as you but of another race??? NAD OF COURSE YOUR PARENST ARE REFUSING HIM, BECAUSE HE IS OF ANOTHER RACE. REMEMBER THEY DON’T KNOW ANYTHING YET( work, religious knowledge)??

 

I know few people who had to go against their family to get married to whom they wanted to, but sadly had to live home to do that. But guess what the family are OK about it now…lol..

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Assalamu Alykum

 

I think I would only suggest things to my daughters, as I'm not a forceful person and I think parents are there to guide. Children need to make their decisions on their own imo it's their life.

 

Parents are here only to guide and respect their children. Of course no parents would want their children unhappy but they tend to get too upset and emotional if the child chooses someone from another race. It is something that they parents need to understand that in this country (western country) children are meeting many people through work, study and other means.

 

yes sometimes one can feel that the parents are living ur life for u...or that they are living "in their old world" and are not up to date with these issues. Although as muslims we must remember to love them and respect them :D :D

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Assalamu Alykum

 

mashAllah I am truly happy for u sister Zaytoon, a good example were inter racial marriage works, so I guess u didnt get a big "cultrual" clash then?

Asalamalaykum Ibn Khaldun

 

Jezekelah khayran. No big culture clash really, He's an american so he never follows his culture. He has always been around muslims from the middle east and africa, and he fits in just fine with my culture. :P

 

My parents wanted to my marry this chap that is the son of their friend, when I was born in 1985, he was born in 1981 and they had this deal that they would get us hitched when we grow up.

 

But hey, Destiny and fate have its own plans too, my mom dad were a bit like ohhh, but when they met him, they started loving him for Allahs sake.

 

A few people in my family, said "what if he was a kafir" and he accepted Islam for her, how silly. Then he brought my parents the proof of his shahada, a certificate that he needed to prove the sauds to enter mecca a few years ago. My parents were told that he was a kafir, alhamdulilah Allah proved them all wrong. He is only 22 and he already did his haj when he was 18.

 

He accepted Islam long before I even met him. I was soo sad when they made him prove his faith.

 

anyway I am HAPPY now, and all of that is just history, what is true and real is that I am married to my habibi now. :D

 

I pray that Allah brings together all of the people who love each other so much but something is in their way, have faith. I've been there and I have never given up, so don't give up. Allah is with the ones who have patience :D

 

Alahu Akbar

 

And recently my somali cousin married A Brother from bosnia ALHAMDULILAH, her family and his family were soo against it, but right now as I speak, they are MARRIED! :P

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Salaam,

 

Sorry to be different but ..............

 

I think Inter-racial Marriages are weird :D

 

I couldn't think to marry outside my race, i'm to worried that I'll have many culture clashes if I do. The person might not speak my parents tongue so they wont be able to comunicate properly.

 

I know this is a stone-age view but this is how I feel!

 

W.

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Salaam,

 

Sorry to be different but ..............

 

I think Inter-racial Marriages are weird  :D

 

I couldn't think to marry outside my race, i'm to worried that I'll have many culture clashes if I do.  The person might not speak my parents tongue so they wont be able to comunicate properly.

 

I know this is a stone-age view but this is how I feel!

 

W.

:D

yes nazi also think inter-race marriages are weird.

 

i think mixed marriages is cool (thats why i started a poll on the old forum lol)

so what if the parents cant speak the same language if there is any love they would try to learn it!

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yes nazi also think inter-race marriages are weird.

 

:P

 

I am hurt by that comment, i can't believe that they made you a IF Guardian!!! :D

 

All I did was to give my point - if wanted to be attacked then i might go and visit the BNP!!!

 

:D

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assalamu alaikum

 

yes nazi also think inter-race marriages are weird.

 

I think this was uncalled for...If you are given the job of moderating a forum and spreading the word of Islam..then please learn to be patient and "fair" when you make your comments..btw what is wrong in voicing one's opinion?

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so what if the parents cant speak the same language if there is any love they would try to learn it!

i personally think i should b able to communicate with my in-laws and expect the same from my wife. this would ensure close family ties rather than nuclear familes where wife has no attachment to my family.

 

I find it difficult to learn new langauge, it will highly impossible for my parents to learn a new language at thier age.

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If someone wants to marry inter-racially thats fine by me. For some people happiness is all that matters, cant argue that. As far as for me dating someone of another race , i could. Some reason, maybe its the way i was raised, but i could never :D date a black man (nothing against them) but just not my style , i guess. However ... a nice middle-eastern guy...now thats another story.. :P

I hope i did not offend anyone here. :D

 

Brittany

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Assalamu Alykum

 

^^^it seems a bit :D sister....

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Interracial marriages are fine by me as well, but my parents are somewhat hesistant about it, I am myself middle eastern (Ethnic Afghan/Pushtun/Pukhtun).

I have nothing against interracial marriages and am all for it, but my parents would idealy like for me to marry into another Afghan/Pushtun/Pukhtun tribe, sadly we Afghans/Pushtun/Pukhtuns are still one of the most racist Muslim races. Both my parents are well-educated and when asked what their thoughts on interracial marriages are, would say they have nothing against it and are all for it, but when it comes to the part whether i should marry a non-afghan/pushtun/pukhtun then their feelings about the matter change.

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Guest amani
Assalamu Alykum

 

^^^it seems a bit :D sister....

is she a muslim :D ????

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:D

 

personally i think there is nothing wrong with inter-mixed marriages (long as good muslim) but yes parents would have a hard time grasping to the idea.........i would not mind marrying a good revert regardless of background colour etc.. so long as he was a decent human being...

 

i think nowadays even though parents want the best for their children, they do the wrong things for the right reasons (does that make sense?? :D ), but it is so common for them to give their son or daughter hand in marriage only based on things such as :

 

1. them being relatives

2. close freinds of family for a long time

3. status

4. interference from the elders above the parents

5. its expected of the parents especially from families back home (country of origin)

 

i can honestly say that from many marriages i have seen in the society, most have been done on the basis of those reasons mentioned.....how piuos or good a persons religious character is has never realy been mentioned nor bothered with, nor has it been the top priority of parents.......(please i am just generalising here so i do not mean this reflects on all parents) hell sometimes its not been the religion that has mattered so much as the colour of that person!!

 

for example i have a distant relative whos 2 brothers are wanting to get married to girls they have chosen, brother no.1 is marrying a greek christian girl and brother no2 is marrying a hindu girl who is going to convert to do this, however their parents have totally refused the brother who wants to marry the greek girl but have accepted the hindu girl?? i ask where is the sense or logic in this? just because the hindu girl has asian looks (well she will do wont she?) and the other is white?......i thought if they were going to refuse they would have on the grounds that the hindu girl is not from the people of the book.........obviously she is converting which then should not matter at all ...but refusing the greek christian girl who is from the people of the book and is refused on grounds for ebing white?but someone try telling this to the parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

it makes me go (w00t) (w00t) (w00t)

Edited by zee

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Sister Zee, the thing is that the greek christian girl maybe from the people of a book, but she is not going to convert, if the hindu girl was not going to convert either, then most probably you would have seen that the greek girl was prefered, i think the hindu girl here is being prefered because she is converting not because she is asian.

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well,i dunno but I think this kind of marriage is fine....

it could be there is a lot difference in cultures but Muslims unite in Islam and the measure in our life is piety,so the couple from different cultures should build their life on good understating of Islam

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:D

 

sorry sister i should have made it more clear the greek girl is also converting...

 

:D

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hmm that is just unfair then. Are the two brothers from india or pakistan ? if so maybe they are giving preference because of the language barrier.. otherwise i find this to be quite upsetting that judgement should be passed even before actually seeing them after marriage.

 

Btw sister, i am a male :D lol

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i think its good to ave inter racial marriages, but older other family members may disagree as they didnt have this experience when they were growing up! its nice to see this in the Islamic community!

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hmm that is just unfair then. Are the two brothers from india or pakistan ? if so maybe they are giving preference because of the language barrier.. otherwise i find this to be quite upsetting that judgement should be passed even before actually seeing them after marriage.

 

Btw sister, i am a male  :D  lol

:D

 

 

No they are from UK and have met the girls through thier social lives....

 

 

P.s. sorry! didnt realise! its probably your pic moto that you'v used, looks more like a girl! lolz sorry! im female

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