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South Africa Questions

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Asalaamu aleykum,


South Africa questions


These are actual questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner - unfortunately we were forwarded these without any reference to the original website so if you know which website it comes from please let us know so we can give credit to them.


Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it raining on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.


Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometers, take lots of water...


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? ( Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes...?


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)

A: ....and what did your last slave die of?


Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA)

A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific.

A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it.

Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.


Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.


Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)

A: No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? ( France)

A: Only at Christmas


Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)

A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.


Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.


Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.



waleykum asalaam,

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lol!! :sl:

love sa.

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funny but not true i guess:


"outh African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner -" it clearly states where you can find these and i doubt they will be on SA tourism site (which you can google)

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Assalamu alaikum, I started laughing when my sister Chaand posted this Topic, it's true how many people including me, think it is a small country which can be toured around by walking for a few hours, and also that there is no good sanitation system and, and wild animals running around trying to hunt you etc. etc. lol.


My daughter and son were visiting us from South Africa this Ramadhan, and I can assure you, they did not have any scratches or bites, except maybe a few from mosquitos. Plus when I see the pictures of their houses and surroundings, I WANT TO LIVE IN A PLACE AND A HOUSE LIKE THAT...........


But it's really something to laugh, because we all have pre assumption about certain things. Our imagination, I guess.


Assalamu alaikum.

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