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Servant_of_Allah_17

Marriage

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salaam everyone

 

i'm 17

 

i dont know what to do.

 

my father wants to get me married,

 

 

to any guy who knows the quran and

 

has a lot of knowledge in Islam, and has a beard, which alhamdullilah is good.

 

but i have very little knowledge in Islam thats why i have joined this forum to understand Islam more

 

but i am scared of the idea of marrying a man that has way more knowledge than me.

 

i understand a man teaches his wife.

 

but my question is, isnt too much difference a problem?

 

i dont know i'v spoken to my sisters they say it doesnt matter.

 

but i really want other peoples advise.

 

i dont want to be offensive but so far the Masjid teachers i

 

no are very backward and i really don't

 

want to end up with a man like that.

 

i dont mean he has to let me to do anything i want but

 

i dont no how to explain..... see me as a wife and not just a house wife

 

who shoudnt be allowed out the house.

 

my father is like that with my mother even though he is very religious.

 

he has alot of knowledge in Islam and is constantly trying to learn more from

 

his teenage years.

 

He provides the family with everything such as food, money, Islamic knowledge and anything you can ask for

 

but love and affection towards us.

 

i see him as a teacher

 

i see all bearded guys like this now. i dont know any personally

 

but they remind me of my father.

 

before i was totally against it but now i'm not sure.......

 

maybe he can help me with my faith because i really need help with it.

 

any advice anyone?

 

wsalaam

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PropellerAds

Peace

 

 

My piece of advice would be for you to go with your heart, and only marry someone with which you feel comfortable.

 

 

What country are you living in, sis? You should not let anyone force you into anything.

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i am bangladeshi but i live in england.

 

its not force but its what the family want,

 

would i make a big mistake if i married a "normal guy" as in not so religious.

 

my sistaz say they regret not marrying a religious guy.

 

because there husbands dont know much about Islam

 

and they have to teach them.

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religious teaches a husband to be at hes perfect way to the wife , so i guess you will miss a great life if you left the religious person .

 

non religious person will give you happiness only from the prespective life with all the nonsense in it , but a religious person will give you a great life that is happiness in mind and heart . its a full pack dont miss it :sl:

every person whos rich want to be more richer , same goes to a girl you want a more perfect , and satisfaction is only in heaven remember that.

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Asalam Alaikum,

 

17 is very very young. You still have your life way ahead of you, there's so many things that you could do. Marrige is important yes - but it is also important to be practical about things. Its a serious commitment, and getting married so young may get in the way of growing up and learning. My mother married at 16 and she regretted it though, she is grateful for us - the kids. The thing is my mother is the sort of person who wants to go out and explore the world, learn things. She's very independant.

 

It is your life, listen to your parents yes, but living such a hectic city life in england (i live there so i know) requires you to make the most of your life and your youth.

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im sorry brother your not right , dont speak with the majority of what you know , im talking about Islamic life , its ok to get married my family since generations they get married when theyr young , my mother married when she was 14 , and i can tell you that my parents parent parent.. got married in same age and some on 13 .

and its not by force but the husband must be religious and religious persons are known by their shiny face alhamdilla , i hope you understand because when a saleh person get married he thinks postively , teaches her , be righteous with her and never lie to her .

 

sex comes after wards for young married couple , maybe in a year or 2 it depends .

 

but most young girls get married to a person who was married or is still married .

alhamdilla my mother doesnt regret it and so as my aunt. they still go out , why not go out ? when your country is a muslim country you can leave anywere , but by following the quran and sunnah always , same goes for men .

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Sorry to say this but I honestly don't think you are at the "ready" point, therefore I would urge you to leave it for later when you have got clear mind of your own requirements. I wouldn't advice you to consider it now at all. firstly all the misconceptions you have about Islam are down to the fact that your Islamic knowledge concerning this matter is very limited, I say this because you seem to think that Islam don't teach about love and affections, also you are generalising the religious people to those you seem to see around.

 

sister you say your dad provides every thing you might ever wish except love and affections, will that tells me that he greatly loves his family and cares for them, I mean nothing at all is forcing your dad to do all of those things for you and your family he could have easily left you all, or he could have decide not to provide you and save his efforts and just be selfish. ask your self why does he do what he does, I tell you it's because he loves and cares for his family dearly, yes showing affection is indeed important but many neglect it mainly to due with the way they them selves where brought up, and so they don't know it's benefits simply because they never felt it. The importance of showing affection is sometimes an aspect that comes along with education. believe me and take it from me go and try and show affection towards your father and I'll bet you that he'll be so grateful for it and he will start to show affection often and maybe every time till you get tried of ,and that's it bam it's sorted. I know I have just barely touched on the topic so sorry i have so much to say but so little time, I have to get back to my study. I'll reply some other time.

 

May Allah guide sister

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Assalamu 'alaykum sister

 

My sincere advice for you, is that you continue to seek knowledge about Islam before taking such big steps. Marriage is companionship and although you may feel that your husband will teach you about Islam, I think it's extremely vital that you develop the habit of learning Islam by yourself aswell- this will help you to have a say in a matter and think for yourself sometimes. Alhamdulillah, you can acquire a great deal of knowledge on the forum, buy a translation of the Glorious Quraan and read a page or two everyday. You will realize that knowledge and education is essential for a woman and this will enable you to see the world more clearly.

 

You said you want your husband (Inshaa'Allah one day), to see you as a wife (home-maker) rather than a housewife. Sister, that is up to you to achieve that, in which case you need to sit down with your father and explain to him that you are not ready for marriage yet, albeit you are considering it once you've gained a better understanding about the deen and what not.

 

Apologies if my advice doesn't seem enough, I sincerely hope you make the right choices in life, for the sake of Allah :sl:

 

Salaam

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Walaikum Salam to all

 

My dear sister in Islam

 

There are men with beards who love and are affectionate.

 

If you marry a man who is not religious he might not be willing to change and live teh normal life. which is actually abnormal.

Living a normal life is living it the Islamic way.

 

My dearest sister Don't go with any1 but Allah

 

I recommend you what the Prophet Peace be upon him recommended - Istikhara

 

before you decide do Istikhaara Allah will suggest you as He alone is the best one to suggest.

 

What ever the answer is in the istikhara agree to it. and trust me it will be the best for u in both worlds... InshAllah

 

JAzak Allah Khair

 

I pray Allah makes it easy on you .

was salam

 

Umm e Sarwat

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assalaam alaikum.

 

nice advice i should say by umm e Sarwat.personally,my first choice was isthikhaara too.

it really helped me alot.

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